Searching for You
(Remembering abused children)
I think I saw you today, but I’m not sure………I had the feeling I get when I think you are near. I wanted to reach out and touch you, to console you, to give you a gentle smile, to let you know you are precious, but I hesitated. The hesitation was not due to my uncertainty of your needs – I know you are hurting, and because of your hurts, I hurt, too. My hesitation is only because some would think I am interfering, with your welfare, with your life, and I should move on….but I can’t.
I think of you everyday, oh, not constantly, but often. I pray for you daily even though I don’t even know your name, but I know God knows. I want to tell you there is someone who cares for you, and is sorry for your pain, the unnecessary painful days of your short life. And when you are sobbing into your hands with tears streaming down those cherub cheeks, dimpled and sweet, blinded by the gushes of gasping for the next breath, remember, I am there with you. You are not alone with the angry words of your abuser, the slam of torments attacking your little shoulders, the swift kicks into your groin, and the shame poured over your head, shame….shame….shame.
One day we will soar with the angels, you and I, we will laugh until tears of joy fill our eyes and I can tell you, with hugs and kisses just how important you are to me, how important you are to everyone…it will be happy days.
But until then, square those little shoulders, and find a safe place to rest and prepare for the next day, and the next….because one day, one wonderful day I will find you, and we will be together. The pain will be over, and the love will begin, your heart will be healed, the days will be sunny, the nights not to dread, but will be comforting as you lay your little head in my lap and I stroke your hair.