AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  David Schwinghammer, iSergio Serrano, Ph.D., iMargaret Evans, iJill Eisnaugle, iJennifer Miller, iElisabeth Barstowe, iRaven West, iMary Lynn Plaisance, iJay Dubya, iLloydene Hill, i

  Home > Arts/Entertainment > Poetry        Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry        Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Leland Waldrip

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· 401 Titles
· 4,265 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Aug, 2001

Leland Waldrip, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



Language Twisters
by Leland Waldrip → (All Poetry by Leland Waldrip)
   Not rated by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow   Share on Facebook

I received this via e-mail from a friend. Some of this poetic language I had seen before, some is new. I hope you enjoy.

 


1. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris...are in-Seine.


2. A backward poet writes...inverse.


3 A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.


4. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.


5. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.


6. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.


7. A man needs a mistress...just to break the monogamy.


8. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.


9. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.


10. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?


11. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.


12. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.


13. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.


14. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.


15. The definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)


16. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


17. In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.


18. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.


19. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.


20. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.


21. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.


22. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.


23. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.


24. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.


25. Local Area Network in Australia: ... the LAN down under.


26. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.


27. Every calendar's days are numbered.


28. a lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.


29. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.


30. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.


31. A plateau is a high form of flattery.


32. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium At large.


33. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.


34. Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.


35. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.


36. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

37. Acupuncture is a jab well done

Want to review or comment on this poem?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


 Reviews of "Language Twisters"
Reviewed by Ch'erie de Perrot
Reviewed on July 9, 2004
Hey hey hey on no 25, maaaaaate LOLOL, These are literary rocky roads.

TA
**Ch'erie**

Reviewed by Janet Caldwell
Reviewed on July 8, 2004
LOL, these are too funny. Thanks for posting them.

JC xoxoxo

Reviewed on July 1, 2004
These were great! Loved the play on words!

Reindeer

Reviewed by E. Richardson
Reviewed on June 28, 2004
hehehehe....and who says us literary types can't be funny!?...thanks, Leland for the chortle.

Reviewed on June 26, 2004
Funny L, thanks for the laughs. G

Reviewed by Dawn Richerson
Reviewed on May 30, 2004
these are GREAT! thanks,

Reviewed by Cynth'ya Reed
Reviewed on May 26, 2004
thanks for sharin' the smile.

clr

Reviewed on May 18, 2004
Punny, very punny!

Reviewed by andrea coltman
Reviewed on May 18, 2004
I loved this when I recieved the same e-mail...sooo clever....best wishes Andrea

Reviewed by jude forese
Reviewed on May 17, 2004
witty! i enjoyed these ... thanx for sharing ...

Reviewed by Nicole Davis Vergara (Reader)
Reviewed on May 16, 2004
Ahhhh Leland still entertaining the AD Masses I see! ;O) LOL
This was a humorous pleasure to read, WOW I have missed you and your writes! :O)

~Nikki~

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
Reviewed on May 15, 2004
Oh, jeez! Funny as hell.

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on May 15, 2004
Thanks for sharing Leland....you made me smile....and "write" at home :)!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed by Floria Kelderhouse (Reader)
Reviewed on May 14, 2004
LOL...really fun to read Leland..thanks for sharing..
floria

Reviewed by Gwen Dickerson
Reviewed on May 14, 2004
Thanks Leland, I always enjoy your posts!

Reviewed by E T Waldron
Reviewed on May 14, 2004
Thanks for sharing Leland! I really enjoy
seeing clever creative minds at work like this!
Most of these are brilliant!

Reviewed on May 14, 2004
enjoyable and fun read and made me think of some others ..
Have a great weekend
Tommy

Reviewed on May 14, 2004
Very interesting indeed.

~ May Lu a.k.a. Sandie Angel ~

Reviewed by Carmen Ruggero
Reviewed on May 14, 2004
These are funny! I could never invent stuff like that. Too good.

Carmen :-)

Reviewed by Lisa Hilbers
Reviewed on May 14, 2004
I did enjoy them Leland..Thanks for sharing them! Lisa


New Poetry by Leland Waldrip
Popular Poetry (Arts/Entertainment)
  1.  Saint of the Poor Mother Mary Ann Wrig
  2.  The Holdovers Film Poem
  3.  Inside the Mind of a Dog Film Poem
  4.  My Newly-created Spiders
  5.  Maria Film Poem
  6.  Wicked, A Short Film Poem
  7.  I Hear the Cries of the Babies and Chi
  8.  The Afterbirth of Creation
  9.  Remembering Gene Wilder
  10.  The Last Movie Stars
  11.  What Ill Take On My Space Flight to M
  12.  The Rules of Poetry
  13.  To the Grieving Hearts
  14.  We Are the World Song by Michael Jacks
  15.  Accept Me As I Am So That I Might Beco
  16.  Radiant Light of Sheer Ecstasy
  17.  Afterbirth of Creation
  18.  Grey's Anatomy 19th Season Review Poem
  19.  Come with Me to our New Galaxy of Shee
  20.  Helen Keller Unable to See Hear or Spe
Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

My Minnesota Journal by Pamela Ackerson

Personal Journals with historical trivia  
Member BookAds

Susan Sarandon: A True Maverick by Betty Jo Tucker

Film critic Betty Jo Tucker analyzes Susan Sarandon's extraordinary movie career. Why did the passionate and outspoken Sarandon choose acting as a career? How does she select her roles? What is her acting philosophy?  
Member BookAds

My North Dakota Journal by Pamela Ackerson

Personal journals are full of potential, waiting for you to add the color! Pages for you to fill in the blanks with tidbits and trivia about North Dakota  
Member BookAds