The man at the party
says,
voice fragmented
wrapped in static,
"spare the rod,
spoil the child,
that's my philosophy."
The speaker's eyes waver,
dying candles flicker
in cut glass goblets;
voice, fainting, falls to slow glide,
recalls the sounds of unbuckling
before the beatings
that made him a man.
Dance rhythms contend
with dissenting voices,
the uneasy beat of shuffling,
the cruel march
from childhood
to manhood.
FOOTNOTE: I know there is a difference between an admonishing smack and a “belting”. I have no problem with the former, but I do have a problem with violence being used as a main deterrent to the “naughtiness” of a toddler.
(c)2001 Patrick Talty
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Reviews of "The Man At The Party"
Reviewed by Katy Walsvik (Reader)
Reviewed on May 7, 2003
Patrick.. a poem packed with power! But, though the comments seem to be unanimously addressing the sentiments of this piece and especially your 'afterthought' (and rightly so) I will follow in agreement BUT.. BUT.. my loudest applause is for the sensitivity so much a part of a man (you) who would bring these attitudes into the realm of poetry.. You, sir, are simply a force to be reckoned with.. Real men DO NOT beat children! Ever! and I commend you for saying that. (On a lighter note, I'm giggling with a picture of you with this tiny human.. smile.) katy.
I share your sentiments precisely, and find myself somewhat disgusted by certain people's attitudes and behaviour towards their own children. I am a very proud and protective 'mama bear' of three extraordinary 'cubs' and am thankful there are still people in the world like you and I. An important piece. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Reviewed by Pat Mullan (Reader)
Reviewed on May 27, 2002
...ah, childhood ! Memories: leather straps wielded by emotionally defective priests, canes in the hands of bullying primary school teachers, parents taught by as good Christians that 'sparing the rod will spoil the child' .... I hope these are mostly memories now. But I have my doubts....... drop in on my St. Columb's poems ...
Couldn't agree with you more Partrick. I only ever smacked my kids once, a little slap on the legs, and they remember it. The reason I smacked them? A kid who got beat up regularly told them if their Dad didn't hit they could do what they liked. So they decided to use our albums (Beatles, Kinks etc.)for carpet surfing and would not stop when told. My kids both have good jobs and have grown into decent but irresponsible adults (they have to take after me in some way. The kid who used to get beaten? He's in prison for murder.
I agree with your footnote completely. 'We parents' should teach our children by talking to them not spanking them. They are after all our the most prized possessions in life. Nicely written, Patrick. And, thanks for posting this poem. I hope it gets the exposure it deserves...
Victoria
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