For Adults Only

Old Cowboy Joe

It had been a long time
since old Joe had come around.
He climbed off'n his big horse
and spit tobacco on the ground.
He said, “Hello. Pretty Rosie,
how the hell you been?”
I said, “Well hell's bells, Joe O'Malley,
thought I'd never see you again.”

He took my arm and steered me
toward the “Black Saddle Saloon.”
Guess he thought he'd get me drunk
and have me upstairs pretty soon.
About my recent reform, he didn't know.
Guess he'd thought we'd go to bed
like old times and we'd give it a go.

I said, “Wait a minute, Cowboy,
I know I aint exactly lily white
but you aint gettin me drunk
and you aint gettin none tonight.”
“Ah, come on Rosie, what'a you say?
I aint never had none better'r yours
and God knows, I need me some today.”

“I just got into a gunfight
with tha damned Wild Bunch Gang.
Tha bullets was flying ever which way
and left me with a pain in my brain.
Little Darlin, you know you want it too.
I'll give more than any man can to you.
Come on now, Rosie, you know it's true .”

“I got some weed to roll some tokes
Let's have us some drinks, Darlin
then we'll have some sweaty pokes.
After that we'll lay around all night
singin and laughin at nasty jokes.
I need some mercy to get me through.
The most merciful woman I know is you.”

What could I do? Joe was lookin fine
with them six shooters strapped
around his perfect, tight behind.
He opened up his chambray shirt,
and showed me his bare chest
Then I knew I was a woman
who was about to be blessed.

We smoked some good tokes
and drank some bad whiskey
by then I was sure feelin
warm all over and awful frisky.
I dropped my bloomers on the floor
Joe pulled off his denim jeans
and locked that bedroom door.

So I threw all reform and caution
as quick as I could, to the wind.
Before you could call me, “Naughty,”
I was back in bed with Joe again.
Then I decided I really like being bad.
When Joe rode into town again
it was the best time I ever had.