I struggle with the ambiguiety
of the world. There is a darkness
that calls out to me and its voice
soothes my aching soul, telling me
it is okay to bleed.

Keep me away from sharp objects,
for I may let myself slip into this
welcoming darkness.

Each day is a test of strength.

I so want to dive into the abyss,
or to thrash those who oppose me.
I want to watch them bleed out,
while I laugh. A fiendish thought,
I know.

Yet, I am pushed daily.

I am fading into the darkness,
or am I burning out?

It's better to burn out I hear,
than to fade away. Let me
become ashes so that I might
be scattered to the winds.