How I found myself.

Some people believe that conception is the moment that begins every life
Others say it is only when the baby emerges, and umbilicus is cut with a knife
I know different, my friends, cause it is possible to exist and still not be alive
It is possible to come to life when the fickle winds of fate finally contrive
Suddenly,the mystery unravels,and brings home to you, your missing part
Beating in the chest of the one that God decreed was the keeper of your heart-your very self.
Living for years in self-imposed exile until finally you can see it all clearly
Life was waiting for you to open yourself to living, and you missed it nearly!
I believed that love was a choice you made,but I now know love chooses you-you choose yourself to love.
Love is a blessing--Oh it can cut,but it can also make all the old things new!
If you think it is possible to die of a broken heart, you could not be more wrong!
Like a gruesome cancer that eats you away bit by bit,that form of dying takes so long
I spent almost 33 years on this planet, fought diseases, and about life pondered various notions
I can pinpoint, the second that I came ALIVE!(May 1st,2003 at 3:10pm) For 32 years I had gone through the motions.
I started to live--I came alive,when I felt I had finally found myself loving myself. It was about time.

Written May 3rd, 2003 at 10:58pm