Donnie & Lennie 1&2

Chicago’s West Side

          1944

“You ever think ’bout girls?”

Donnie asked.

“Huh?”

The question so far from his field of thought

that the twelve year old boy  was

not quite sure he’d heard right.

“What do you mean, ‘think ’bout girls’?”

 Lennie  asked.

“Girls! Girls!” The other twelve year old boy asked,

“You ever think ’bout them?”

“No, course not!

Why’d I ever wanna think ’bout girls?”

“You’n’me we don’t have sisters,

so we can’t see ’em, an’…

You ever wonder ’bout their, uh, pissers?”

“No! Why’d I ever wanna wonder ’bout girl’s pissers?”

“Why? ’Cause they don’t got ’em!

Girls are different’n guys.”

Donnie said.

“They got… I d’know… somethin’ else.”

Looking at his friend to see if he was serious,

“I never thought ’bout it before,

but if girls don’t got pissers,

what’d they pee out’a?”

“Yeah! That’s what I’m sayin’!

Remember my pal, Frankie?”

Sensing a pang of jealousy,

“Yeah,” Lennie nodded his head.

“That’s what him’n’me wanted to know,

so I asked our teacher…”

“What girls pee out’a?”

He could not believe that anyone,

especially his friend,

would have courage enough to…

“I can’t believe it!

You asked your teacher ‘bout how girls pee?”

“Not how girls pee, what they pee out’a!

An’ yeah, me,”

he said proudly.

“An’ would you believe she never told us?

She pretended to tell us,

but really didn’t tell us nothin’.

So Frankie’me we asked this older guy we know,

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                                        2

an’ he told us what girls got there is what’s

really called a, uh, cunt.

An’ sometimes,

if they wanna,

guys go ’round puttin’ their pissers

—only on guys pissers are really

what’s called a prick—

an’ sometimes,

 if they wanna,

guys put ’em

—their pricks into girls—

an’ then they, uh,

kind’a pee in ’em.”

Too much to comprehend,

stopping, looking at his friend,

“First off,” Lennie asked,

“how could’j’ya do it?

How’d you ever be able to get ‘it’ in ‘there’?

An’ then, even if a guy could get ‘it’ in ‘there’,

why?

Why would any guy ever wanna put his pisser,

or whatever you wanna call it,

into a girl’s pisser,

or whatever you wanna call it,

an’ then do that,

 what’j’ya said,

pee!?

That’s the most disgusting thing I ever heard!”

“I didn’t say guys pee in ’em,

I said they ‘kind’a’ pee in em.

An’, yeah,”

Donnie said,  

“that’s what me’n’Frankie thought, too.

But it’s the truth!”

Holding his right hand up,

“Swear on my mom!”

Everyone knows that if a guy swears on his mom

it’s got to be the truth!

“Okay!”

Asking the universally asked question,

“But why would a guy do that?”

Lennie asked:

“Tell me that if you know so much.

Why would a guy ever wanna do that?”

“Okay,” he answered belligerently,

©December 10, 2011 / Mark M Lichterman