New Deck Unwrapped

There was that day…

When I took my black and white TV

With my accordion

To the pawn shop.

There was another day…

When roommates stuck me for their rent,

When Chef BOYARDEE was luxury dining,

And subway-fare was prized.

Then days later…

My luck was down to my mom’s Christmas gift,

A knit sweater with “Faith” weaved across the heart,

And worn white-bucks now gray with flapping soles

Peeking out beneath holey blue jeans long before it was fashion.

But…

I felt cheerful walking Central Park in the snow.

I kept telling myself there was one out there somewhere,

The one who was waiting to love me,

And I kept proclaiming my affirmation

On the subway platform

Waiting for the D Train,

Causing other would-be passengers

To put distance between my rambling

And their collective sullenness.

I let myself be reduced to this, I explained.

I played against myself with marked cards,

Cheating myself, even as I raised the stakes,

Figuring each new loss was bringing me closer

To a new deck to unwrap.

Was it she had a premonition of me

And me of her

Both holding onto dreams?

Maybe that brought the day…

When being too busy with the first embrace,

Far from subways,

Snow caked clothes

And marked cards,

That the new deck of honest cards appeared.

I’d bet my mistakes on her

And didn’t lose

Finally