I can hear nothing but the sound of my own heart beating
As I sit silently pondering
I am having a mental battle with myself
Part of me still thinks nothing has changed
But the other part of me knows things will never be the same
I am forcing myself into a mental overload trying to figure out why
So many tragic things have planted themselves in my life
My heart has been shattered and that is a lifetime of bad luck for me
My trust was destroyed in the war of being hurt
Hope has been drained from my body
So I sit lifeless and confused
Lost and abused
I try to speak out but there is no one there
And, so one answers
I am mentally, physically and socially broken down
My body begins to feel again and this hurts terrible
I enjoyed being numb not feeling, froze, in a state of no emotion
Love, lost, disappointment, rejection led to my break down
As I come back to life mentally I realized that God loves me
And his love is unconditional
I feel life being blown into me as I rise from my spot on the floor
And I surrender, in my mental war with loving myself

Kenya Campbell Copyright 2002