I'm laughing with them now
so that they won't suspect
about the games I play
the things I say
and the foolish way
that I feel like I'm almost happy.

I'm smiling with him now,
so that I can carry on
pretending to myself
with my slick romantic stealth
like I love someone else
and I feel like it's almost real.

I'm holding on for them
too scared to let them down
so they won't see my fears
and they won't know my tears
how my mind never clears
but I almost feel alive.