Unwilling

To accept the reality of the situation

I, now,

Even after weeks

Of trying to swallow

The cold hard truth

Involuntarily

And unconsciously

Shake my head

"NO".

As my mind tries to process

This unwanted truth

With all of the success

Of trying to dine

On a brick:

Can't bite it

Can't chew it

Damned hard to swallow

Surely can't process it

Tears my guts out

As it moves through my body

Ripping and shredding

My very soul

I had always intended

To tell this story one day

But could never guess

How it would end

And

Well

Who would have thought

That this is where

It would all go

This is me

Now

Without you

I guess I'm being selfish

But, then,

Don't "they" say that suicide

Is the ultimate selfish act?

I'm wondering

What this says about you

I counted on you to be there

Though we met through

Very peculiar circumstances

And I did not get a vote

When you assumed your role

We formed an alliance

And we committed to a common goal

A child at stake

Whose very life and success

Depended upon us

And we did such a great job

I feel angry

I feel abandoned

Anguished

Responsible

Sad

I feel that you made a decision

That was very bad

Irreversible

And we know that

If you would have waited

Just a little while

Time would change everything

Like it always does

How could you leave us?

I have fought so very hard to stay

Why was it so easy

For you to decide to go?