...experiances...

i know what it is like
to drive, crying, through the fog
i know how it feels
to only have cough drops
and cigarettes inside me
i know the feeling of
being doubted of things i know
i feel the cinder block
sitting on my chest
i feel the burning
that starts in my ears
and spreads to my eyes
until i puke tears
i feel the exhaustion with life
i want death, but am too afriad
to do it myself
i know which hugs
make me better
and i know when a hug
will do me no good
i pretend to be better
and at times i am
i just hope
that those good times
will stay with me forever