How to Succeed in Life

The rules to success are simple
And so easy to follow
But just in case you haven’t seen your share of
The good life
Here are the rules once again:

First, choose your parents wisely
Make sure they are attractive
With a nice home and a fat bank account—
You won’t like the seedy side of life;
Next, hold your IQ down to average or below
There’s a lot of crap going around that
You do not want to understand;
Go with the flow
You don’t want to be good at anything
Talent comes with responsibilities and
That means accountability and trust
Two more traits that can bring you down;
Winning is all about you
You will have no time for kindness love and understanding
Those traits all show weakness and concern for others;
Stay with your own kind
Form cliques and networks of self-centeredness
Life is about keeping and adding to what you have
It’s is not about sharing and giving.

Immerse yourself in me-ism
By developing a cold and hard outer shell
All the truths are learned or created from within;
Remember that cheating lying and stealing
Are relative terms that only mean don’t get caught;
Never take blame for anything because
There is always someone you can blame;
Speak ill of all those whiny people who create
And care and do without seeking their rewards—
Who wants to be like that?
Always take more than your share and then
Take some more it’s only fair;
Kick up some dirt poison the waters
Do whatever it takes to separate you from them.

Above all do not even think about those fictions that
Keep others alive with hope such as
Justice and karma and heaven
One slip down that slope and you could end up
Just like them—
With scars and broken bones and
Wisdom and knowledge
And that biggest fiction of all called
Love.