Santa Claus Stole My Car (Short Story) - 3/11/2019 7:07:30 AM
It was fiction. Wanna know how I know? Because I've worn leather jackets before and not once was I ever warm, but I looked cool.😊
Indomitus und Gelda (Short Story) - 2/14/2019 3:06:37 AM
"As I struggled with a strong desire
to own that beauty for my own,
I finally got it
and I knew what I must do -
leave it alone!
I didn't take it away
I took it in
Where it could stay."
From 'Treasure Discovered'
It's great to read your work again Mark. I love the layers of meaning here.
There's more that I could say but I'll save that for another day. ;)
Charlie (Short Story) - 7/7/2018 6:37:06 PM
Kitten Wink Well
Wink knew little Lars Tittle.
Weird nohow, a weary thou
He put above his hog world.
Odd like mania, eh stinky?
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
...Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogroves,
...And the mome raths outgrabe.
The Serpent In The Window (Short Story) - 6/26/2018 1:34:01 PM
“Parfois le soir est si noir, et solitaire.
Parfois mon désespoir n'est pas si tranquille.
Le cœur veut. Sauvez-moi, si vous pouvez.”
Bozo, The Magic Weasel
Santa Claus Stole My Car (Short Story) - 6/26/2018 7:47:52 AM
Last night I dreamed I was playing penny ante five card stud with Willie Nelson and another guy on an old rickety picnic table at an outdoor party. After three cards I had an ace up and another down and bet a quarter. They both called. But, for the fourth card they got the other two aces. (After four cards it was impossible for anyone to have a straight, flush, or full house. We each had more than one suit and three different cards not close enough together to make a straight. So, if either of them had a pair with their hole card, their fifth card could give them two pair or three of a kind. The best I could end up with was two pair with aces as my highest pair.) Willie opened with a nickel. I only had fifteen cents left and was trying to decide if I should raise or just call. I was thinking I should just call because I didn't want to scare them off. I could bet my last dime after the fifth card. Then I woke up, so I never found out if I won the hand or not.
In case you haven't figured it out, the first part of my original dream was about how I felt
about my job. Later on, Santa Claus represented God, the newspaper represented the Bible,
and the white car with fins that looked like angel wings represented my salvation. The woman
and her daughter represented my wife and daughter, and the man and the boy represented
my teen-age son who was, at the time, both a man and a boy. I have no explanation for it
but I had that dream many years before my conversion to atheism. Was I already beginning
to doubt? (Not being one who believes in precognition, I offer this explanation: I wrote my
story many years after I had the dream, so I may have altered it a bit to fit my interpretation.)
"Cling not to false hopes, no matter how cherished.
Disillusionment and acceptance eventually lead to enlightenment."
Roger T. Slug
Indomitus und Gelda (Short Story) - 5/24/2018 5:32:24 AM
Indomitus = Untamed. Domitus = Tamed. To Geld a horse is to neuter it.
(She tied you to a kitchen chair. She broke your throne and she cut your hair.)
"Ego sum Homo Solitarius. Factus sum Homo Domitus." - Another Neutered Male
Like Sam Dodsworth, Lester Burnham, Gelda's father, and Poor Little Domi.
Unwanted, Unwelcome, Unworthy.
"Just another lonely old man:
I've got to stop wanting you.
You make me feel undesirable.
I've got to stop wanting you.
You make me feel undeserving.
I've got to stop wanting you.
You make me feel..."
When I Was A Child (2007)
"And the girl with the auburn hair:
She's so perfect. She's so fair.
But she does something to my pride.
She makes me feel so inadequate inside."
Angel 69 / Mid-Life Crisis (2005)
"You don't have to tell me. I know. I know it's wrong.
But I've felt so unwanted and unwelcome for so long."
Middle-Aged Married Man Blues (2016)
"I know. I know.
I'm like a million married men
longing for their lovers.
But that don't make it any better.
I had hoped it would last forever."
Two Bottles Of Wine (2018)
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
What is called resignation is confirmed desperation." 🦋
Henry David Thoreau
"My dreams are like pearls.
I gave up all for one of great value.
The one I could not live without.
The one I almost lost."
Pearl of Great Price (2012)
"The heart wants what it wants, but I know what I have.
I know I'd rather be with her."
Id vs. Ego (2014)
"It's by far the hardest thing I've ever done.
To be so in love with you, and so alone."
"God, it's so painful. Something that's so close,
and still so far out of reach!"
Sometimes I feel like this. Other times, not as much.
The past is a difficult thing to compete with.😞
EVEN AFTER FINDING "THE ANSWER"
(🧙🏻♂️: Accept things as they are. Love is the one dream that matters.)
THE STRUGGLE between the Id and the Ego CONTINUES.
🤡: Il cuore vuole! (The heart wants!)
Puper Edcamsa uf Huta 🦋
Y vych Y heb e ruwal.
Y vych ni ruwal ves cpyrr nyma.
Y vych phep cha cpyrr vempab na.
(Y vemp Hal cu nosh!)
Dop Y vyrr mawal hewa e ruwal ejeym.
Ruwa, ys e dolmymj phymj‼
🤡 Nelq Cadlymj (Duxu's Resp Jest 💀)
Τετέλεσται.✝
L'amour et le désir sont souvent en conflit.
(Love and desire are often in conflict.)
L'amour compte plus.
(Love matters more.) 💖
She was the only dream that mattered.
Mark A Sebring (1957-2025?)
🦋
Death Of A Cockroach (I Know The End)
A lonely man listening to Moondog Radio in the dark.
A glass of whiskey in his hand. Achieving apathy.
He couldn't let Bozo have the final word.
He pulled pins from grenades and lobbed them on the lawn.
They were just sitting there. They hadn't gone off yet.
But they could at any moment. BOOM!!!
He wasn't sure what he was going to tell his Dad.
I had one drink last night. My first in more than a month.
I ended up unconscious on the bathroom floor.
I didn't mean to kill myself but I think I may have.
I had finally finished "War And Peace".
Like Pierre, I had finally found Peace.
I am proof that there is no God.
ssbap 🌄
Η επιδίωξη της απάθεια:
Accipere res ut sunt. 🧙♂️
L'amour est le seul rêve qui compte.
Santa Claus Stole My Car (Short Story) - 9/22/2017 6:12:53 AM
That was some story! Bad after bad, until becoming worse. Certainly reads like some dreams that I've had where the plot changes very quickly and you move into another part or venue without resolving the first issue--weird.
I enjoyed the descriptive nature of it and am glad that I didn't dream that dream along with you.
Ron
Charlie (Short Story) - 9/21/2017 8:23:12 AM
I like the story. It has a simple rhythm that children enjoy. I especially like the ironic lines: "Charlie didn't really want to hurt the little creatures. He just wanted to eat them."
Actually, I think that the two tall animals should be arrested for animal abuse. Locking up animals in houses when they should be out hunting and stalking for a livelihood is tantamount to confining a young child to a house and not letting them ever go outside.
Ron
No Kings Day (Article) - 6/15/2025 11:23:18 AM
Mark, you and I are like two peas in a pod. And there are many more like us. Unfortunately, so many are remaining silent, hoping it will all blow over.
With my poems and my articles… even my novels, I try to portray a United States of America that is kind, generous and open to ideas and good deeds. That Image is greatly at risk in today's environment. I can't see why anyone reading your list would not come out on our side unless somehow they have been brainwashed like most Germans were in the 1930s into thinking somehow they were superior to everyone else in the world. Easily shown to be patently wrong. And a dangerous slope to slide down.
Ron
No Kings Day (Article) - 6/11/2025 10:11:34 AM
"When Fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross."
(unknown source, attributed to Sinclair Lewis)
I believe in the principles of government outlined in the American Declaration of Independence.
Like Thomas Jefferson, I believe that we should have the right to do anything which does not
cause harm to others or take away their rights.
I served my country as a member of the U.S. Army from 1975 to 1978.
I am an agnostic atheist and secular humanist who strongly supports freedom of religion.
I also believe that one can follow teachings attributed to the Biblical Jesus without being religious,
and that many who claim to be Christian don't actually follow His teachings.
(Because of MAGA cultists, I have lost most of my remaining respect for Christianity.
Most atheists I know are more Christ-like than most of the Christians I encounter.
So many simpletons calling themselves Christian, behaving like bigots.)
I don't belong to any political party and I'm not impressed with either of our two major parties.
I was a Republican long ago, but I have since become an anti-Republican who is willing to vote
for Democrats to keep Republicans out of office. (I voted Libertarian in a couple of elections.)
Choosing between the two usually seems to me like choosing between evil and mediocrity.
I believe in peaceful protest and passive resistance.
No violence. No vandalism. No violation of the law.
This article was inspired by my trying to figure out
what I wanted to put on a protest sign.
Simple answers to complex problems are almost always wrong.
"If they are illegal, they should be deported." ?
Two different views on "The Law":
"I administer the law. Good, bad, or indifferent, it's no business of mine, but the law to the letter."
Inspector Javert (from the 1935 film version of "Les Misérables")
"Of liberty I would say that, in the whole plenitude of its extent, it is unobstructed action according
to our will. But rightful liberty is unobstructed action according to our will within limits drawn
around us by the equal rights of others. I do not add 'within the limits of the law,' because law
is often but the tyrant's will, and always so when it violates the right of an individual."
Thomas Jefferson
See Mark 2:23-3:6
The point is: What is moral is not determined by what is lawful.
A Democratic society creates laws for the benefit of that society.
(We don't exist for the sake of the law. The law exists for our sake.)
And the members of that society are responsible for ensuring
that those laws lead us to do that which is moral.
See Luke 10:25-37
(I find it interesting that many American Catholics, besides ignoring the teachings of Jesus,
have ignored Pope Francis' and Pope Leo's objections to America's new immigration policies.
It makes me wonder who they really believe in.)
Of The Empire
We will be known as a culture that feared death
and adored power, that tried to vanquish insecurity
for the few and cared little for the penury of the
many. We will be known as a culture that taught
and rewarded the amassing of things, that spoke
little if at all about the quality of life for
people (other people), for dogs, for rivers.
All the world, in our eyes, they will say, was a
commodity. And they will say that this structure
was held together politically, which it was, and
they will say also that our politics was no more
than an apparatus to accommodate the feelings
of the heart, and that the heart, in those days,
was small, and hard, and full of meanness.
Mary Oliver (from "Red Bird", 2008)
Many people in America today are ignorant, incompetent,
and irresponsible. They are not really interested in truth,
and they don't like people who tell them what they don't
want to believe. Donald Trump is their champion because
he's just like them, and he tells them what they wish to hear.
(Micah 2:11)
I cannot convince the foolish ones, the brainwashed cultists,
the counterfeit Christians, those who refuse to see the truth.
I can't even save my own siblings.
απάθεια: Vita pergit. Accipio res ut sunt.
(The serenity to accept the things I cannot change.)
L'homme solitaire doit marcher seul. 🚶🏻♂️
I feel so ashamed right now, to have siblings who are so incredibly stupid,
so uneducated and so gullible, that they are fooled by the most illogical arguments,
and accept the most nonsensical claims and ridiculous conspiracy theories.
(Did you know that some schools have litter boxes at the back of their classrooms
for children who identify as cats?)
They are crackpots in tin foil hats. Like children, they live in a fantasy world
that is miles away from reality. Nearly everything they believe is untrue.
And they insult my intelligence when they try to convince me of things
that only a fool would believe. I am disgusted and I've had enough.
I served my country proudly, and I despise these phony Christians
who support its destruction.
I don't want anything to do with them anymore.
I don't want anything to remind me that I am connected to them.
It is time to walk away.
A military style ICE raid on an apartment building in Chicago
ended up arresting 37 undocumented immigrants.
Many innocent citizens who happened to live in the same building,
including children, were brutally treated and detained for hours,
for the crime of being non-white. Out of pure cruelty, their apartments
were ransacked, their furniture and other possessions destroyed.
When a woman, concerned about the children, naked and
zip tied together, in the street in the middle of the night,
asked, "Where is the morality? Where is the humanity?",
an ICE agent's only response was "F--- them children."
This is America in 2025!
An Atheist Perspective
Our country is ruled by brutes
who don't care about the rights of anyone
who is different from them.
It appears that most of the people
who call themselves Christian
are on their side.
They make excuses
to justify the brutality
against those who are not them.
Or simply deny that it exists.
It is easy to recognize
that they are hypocrites
and difficult to understand
why they can't recognize it themselves.
They don't seem to realize
that they are Star Witnesses
to the idea
that their God doesn't really exist.
Show me one True Christian.
Someone who is actually Christ-like.
(They seem pretty rare these days.)
I will disagree with them.
But I'll probably get along with them
just fine.
Mark Sebring (2025)
Luke 10:25-37
"A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho,
when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped
him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving
him half dead. A priest happened to be going down
the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed
by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came
to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side."
Matthew 25:41-46
"They too will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you
hungry or thirsty or a stranger needing clothes or sick
or in prison, and did not help you?'
He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not
do for the least of these, you did not do for me.'
Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the
righteous to eternal life."
I am planning to participate in the "No Kings 2.0" protests on October 18th,
but I've been feeling pretty pessimistic lately.
Since Donald Trump's return to power I have become more and more depressed.
It appears to me that evil has won. The America I knew and loved is gone.
The self-righteous simpletons who believe the lies are so numerous, so obtuse,
and so ruthless. I doubt we shall ever recover from the dumbing down of America.
But let's all protest while we still can.
We may not be able to do it again.
Our Führer has declared war
on those who disagree.
The end is coming for you and me.
"America is under invasion from within. We're under invasion from within.
No different than a foreign enemy, but more difficult in many ways 'cause
they don't wear uniforms. At least when they're wearing a uniform you can
take 'em out. These people don't have uniforms. But we are under invasion
from within. We're stopping it very quickly."
Donald Trump addressing U.S. Military leaders
See my "An Atheist Perspective" poem for more on "No Kings 2.0".
🌎 MUNDUS SINE CAESARIBUS 👑
The Collector (Article) - 11/21/2023 1:08:05 PM
🎶 The Evolution of Moondog Radio:
I guess my goal has always been to create the ULTIMATE RADIO STATION: A huge collection of the best songs
with a tremendous amount of variety, and no talk and no commercials.
I got the name "Moondog Radio" from Cleveland DJ Alan Freed's radio show, the first to play rock and roll music
on the air. (The Beatles called themselves Johnny and The Moondogs for a short time as a tribute to Freed.)
My original "Moondog Radio" collection was a set of 100 CDs I burned from my favorite songs (mostly Rock and R&B)
in my CD collection. I would rotate those CDs in and out of a 25 CD changer I owned, and play them in shuffle mode.
The total number of songs was around 2,000. I still have those CDs but I don't play them anymore, and my 25 CD
changer doesn't work anymore.
"Moondog Radio" was also the name of a Facebook Page I had where I posted all kinds of music videos. When I
first left Facebook, my friend Jan Jewell took over and managed it for a while, until there weren't many viewers left.
(Facebook made it harder for page posts to be seen unless you paid them to allow them to be seen.)
I returned briefly and posted mostly Local and Indie music videos. But I'm not on Facebook anymore and the page
has been shut down.
For my next "Moondog Radio" collection I selected more than 7,000 of my favorite songs (all styles of music) from
my CD collection, and ripped them to my PC where I could play them in shuffle mode using Windows Media Player.
I had an app on my Roku device and my Smart TV that could play from Windows Media Player on my PC via wifi.
As Windows has been upgraded over the years though, Windows Media Player has become pretty crappy, so I
never use it anymore.
My next "Moondog Radio" collection was a subset of around 6,000 songs from my previous collection, organized
into categorical folders, and copied to thumb drives that I could play from using my car radio or a portable boombox.
That thumb drive is still the "Radio Station" I listen to when I am in my car, and I still take that boombox with me
when I go on camping trips.
But Spotify made it possible to include songs in my "Moondog Radio" collection that I don't own on physical media,
so my new collection contains more than 30,000 songs and more variety than ever. It is my new Ultimate Radio Station
and the only thing I listen to now when I'm at home.
By the way, Check out my New Favorite Playlists: 🎸📻💿
"Country🎸Rock", "ROCK & ROLL 📻", "Classic💿Albums",
"50's ROCK!", "60's ROCK!", "70's ROCK!", "80's ROCK!", "90's ROCK!".
(I listen to these all the time now.)
📝 Here is another bit of trivia:
It was adding puzzles and quests to my AuthorsDen website that led me to create a definite ending to my story.
🧩 Follow the trail of les papillons to find "Bozo's Last Gasp".🤡
Besides my original puzzle/quest (Bozo's Last Gasp) there are now three related quests
that are intended to explain its purpose and clarify its message:
1. The Quest for The Holy Grail 🏆
2. The Three Crosses
3. Bozo Must Die‼
The Grail explains the reason for the quest.
The first cross is at the beginning,
the second at a crucial juncture,
and where you find three wishes
you will find the final cross,
signifying the end of the story.
Understanding the meaning of "Bozo Must Die!"
is essential to understanding the ending.💀🦋
(There are now two endings to the story 💀🤡
because there are two ways that Bozo can die.)
📘 Epilogue: (I think I have finally finished my book!)
I believe I have done a good job (at least artistically) of telling my story here (in my AuthorsDen website).
On the other hand, I recognize (and it often troubles me) that it can easily be misunderstood. There are
certain key concepts that the reader must pick up on if they are to understand the gist of my story, and
especially the rather ambiguous ending that the trail of butterflies leads to (if they happen to find it).
1. My story is a complex one that may only be understood if you read the whole thing. This is explained
in the commentary of "Thing's I've Written - Part 1", where I also clarify a message from my front page:
that there is no mask - only a riddle, that a riddle is intended to selectively reveal, and much is revealed
to those who are truly interested and able to understand. I mention in the commentary of "Eros and Lethe"
that esoteric poetry is intended to be understood only by intelligent people who make an effort. And I
reveal in the commentary of "Solitude" my deep desire to find someone interested in understanding me.
2. I explain on my front page and in the commentary of "My Dad" that I have told my story using a mixture
of autobiography and fiction (and it is often unclear which parts are autobiography and which are fiction).
I believe that there are many people in the world who feel the same way I do, and it was my goal to write
things that they could identify with. As a result, the message was always more important than the details,
so while the message is always truthful, the details are sometimes embellished or exaggerated.
(Someone who had read my "Going On" poem asked me if I was a painter. They didn't get it.)
3. I recognize that no one (or almost no one) reads what I have posted here. My "After I'm Gone" article
mentions that, as a result, the primary purpose of my website is to let people know who I was, after I am
gone. In the commentary of "My Magic Bullet" (and in a hidden place) I explain that knowing that no one
reads what I write made it possible for me to be very candid and to reveal some of my darkest secrets.
In the commentary of my "Never Again" music video, I mention that my odd sense of humor makes me
appreciate the irony of having such things posted in a place where anyone in the world can read them
but no one does.
I told the story of a man who is very much in love with his wife, but gradually became disappointed in
both his love life and his life in general (mostly as a result of loneliness and the changes that naturally
come from growing older) and eventually became tempted by alcohol and suicidal thoughts. I went to
great lengths to explain the causes of his dissatisfaction and how he struggled with them. Much of this
explanation is a commentary on human nature and the problems that many people face.
4. In the commentary of "Apatheia: Vita pergit. Accipere res ut sunt. - Part 1" I list three quotations that
explain much of what I've written. The quotation from Thoreau's "Walden" states that most people lead
lives of desperation (absence of hope) that they keep to themselves, and that they often deal with that
despair by learning to accept it (what we call "resignation"). See my "My Philosophy" article.
5. The quotation from Leonard Cohen's "Bird On A Wire" is about the endless internal struggle between
the Stoic and the Romantic. The beggar who says "You must not ask for so much." represents the reality
principle of the Ego while the pretty woman crying "Hey! Why not ask for more?" represents the pleasure
principle of the Id. (I refer to my Stoic side as "Roger T. Slug" and my Romantic side as "Bozo The Magic
Weasel".) While I interpret Cohen as talking about the conflict between the Id and the Ego, I believe that
my favorite poem by Emily Dickinson says more about our two primary instincts: Eros (the desire to live
and experience pleasure) and Thanatos (the desire to avoid pain and suffering), and I conclude from it
that if we add despair (the absence of hope) to Thanatos (the desire to avoid pain) we end up with the
desire to die. My "Id vs Ego / Anagnorisis" poems and their commentary explain the conflicts between
the Id and the Ego, and my "A House Divided" article talks about both inner conflicts (Id vs. Ego, and
Eros vs. Thanatos). Most of what I've written about is the struggles between Bozo The Magic Weasel
(🤡 The Id, My Romantic side, Desire) and Roger T. Slug (🧙 The Ego, My Stoic side, Resignation).
6. I explain in "Unrequited? / Monsters from The Id" and its commentary that what our emotions tell us
is often untrue, but, despite that, I believe it can be beneficial to use art to express our innermost feelings.
As a result, I often write poems that simply express what I'm feeling at that particular moment, knowing
full well that what my feelings are telling me isn't necessarily accurate. So, as you read my poetry, it is
important to learn to recognize whether it is Bozo (my emotions) or Roger (my mind) who is speaking.
BOZO EXPRESSES WHAT I FEEL. He is dissatisfied when he can't have what he wants.
ROGER EXPLAINS WHAT I THINK. He understands and accepts the realities of life.
7. In "A House Divided" and in my commentaries for "The One Dream That Matters" and "Id vs. Ego", I
mention that Love and Desire can be in conflict, and in my "L'Amour Compte Plus (Love Matters More)"
poem, I state that of the two it is Love that matters more. But I conclude the little critique that follows my
"Swan Song" poem with the exclamation: "Even after you've found the answer, the struggle continues!
There is always a beggar on a wooden crutch and a pretty woman in a darkened door." That means:
Knowing the answer that "Love Matters More" does not end the conflict between Love and Desire.
Desire is always a problem. The struggle between the Id and the Ego never ends.
I hope that understanding these key concepts will make it easier for you to understand my story.
I'm just some nerdy kid from Boone Iowa,
a lonely old misfit from Omaha Nebraska,
but I have painted my "Brooklyn Crucifixion".
("My Name Is Asher Lev" by Chaim Potok)
I have done my best to explain it, but,
as far as I know, no one understands it.
I did my best. It wasn't much.
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch.
I've told the truth. I didn't come to fool ya.
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
with nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah.
Leonard Cohen (Hallelujah)🌄
🧙🏻♂️ I AM THE BEGGAR WITH THE WOODEN CRUTCH
After writing and reading the two ambiguous endings to my story
I posted the conclusion I came to in my YouTube Community.
Follow my link above.⬆
▶ If you are looking for my YouTube Community,
YouTube has renamed their "Community" tab to "Posts".
The end of my story is there. (Roger won.)
Η επιδίωξη της απάθεια:
Accipere res ut sunt. 🧙♂️
L'amour est le seul rêve qui compte.
(Read the conclusion of my commentary for "Who I Am".)
The Collector (Article) - 11/21/2023 12:19:24 PM
Impressive! Mark, you've done so much work on this. What a collection!
Classic Movies (Article) - 11/21/2023 12:18:28 PM
Great collection!
My Religious Position (Article) - 5/15/2021 3:40:24 PM
Well, as for a living God you are probably an agnostic atheist for envy. Are you? Are you not? I mean envious, because I am the one who moves Earth with all it contains, therefore your country entire, your ass and so on, and besides I am not asking you to do it, you will do anyway, take a bow to your Creator, because He or I will not make an effort for the resurrection of yours. You know, may father detests and abhorres all human beings not sincere with themselves even when they have seen Him and He prefers not to give them life again. Eat up that! Bye Bye.
Freudian Stoicism (unfinished essay) (Article) - 11/12/2020 6:16:06 AM
There are many of us who insist that life must have meaning, who assume that we must have a purpose. It is natural for members of a tool-making species to come to the conclusion that everything must have a purpose. But I believe that it is not so, and that the universe and everything in it was not created but simply exists, the result of a physical nature that simply exists. And that as long as we are here, it is only natural for us to seek our own happiness.
There are many who would recognize this as a type of hedonism, and then assume that such hedonism must be incompatible with concern for others. But it is only those who lack wisdom and foresight who assume that our own happiness is incompatible with the happiness of others. Those who are wise and prudent recognize that we are a species whose happiness is dependent on the happiness of others. And it is this wisdom which is the source of all compassion and true morality.
There is a certain enlightenment which comes from wisdom and prudence, an enlightenment which leads to compassion, kindness, and morality, an enlightenment which is far more beneficial to mankind than your primitive religions; belief systems that teach us to let others do our thinking for us instead of learning to think for ourselves, and to blindly accept comfortable falsehoods and an artificial morality based on conformity to ancient principles and traditions.
And it is this enlightenment that I have been preaching, that enlightenment which comes from the development of the mature ego (as opposed to the super-ego which primitive religions prefer). I have tried to explain these concepts here, in this place where no one reads the things I write and possibly no one ever will. (Perhaps one day, after I’m gone.) But alas, I recognize that my writings are inadequate, my explanations have been incomplete, and it’s unlikely that anyone will ever understand or accept them. But I have no idea how to proceed. It generally seems to be a waste of time to continue writing (considering that no one reads what I write anyway). Sometimes I think it would be easier to try to explain these things to people in person, but I doubt that’s ever going to happen.
My Religious Position (Article) - 11/11/2020 7:45:01 AM
Summarization / Clarification (Revised)
I estimate that there is:
At least a 90% chance that no god exists at all.
Less than a 10% chance that a deist type of god (a god who does not interfere with its creation) exists.
(I find it extremely difficult to estimate that percentage.)
And very close to a 0% chance that an anthropomorphic god (like the Greco/Roman gods or the
Judeo/Christian God) exists. (I have logical arguments that disprove the existence of such a god,
and I'm reasonably but not absolutely certain of those arguments.)
Because I believe there is a slight chance that a deist type of god might exist, I call myself an agnostic
atheist - one who does not believe in a god but does not claim to be certain that no god exists.
A comment I posted on a YouTube video discussing arguments for the existence of God:
1. The argument from design is not sufficient to prove the existence of a god, but it is sufficient
to suggest the possibility of one. (abductive vs. deductive reasoning)
2. All anthropomorphic god myths contain flaws that make it obvious that they were made up by
primitive cultures. Even those who believe in an anthropomorphic god dismiss other god myths
than the one they've accepted, as incredible and ridiculous. They simply don't recognize that the
one they have accepted is no different. What kind of god wants to be worshipped by its creation?
The kind of god that was made up by primitive people. (People who still believe in the existence
of that type of god are also primitive people. See "Three Days In The Belly Of A Fish".)
"I am a jealous god"
should be enough to clue you in
to the fact that this "God"
was created by men.
3. The existence of an anthropomorphic god can be logically disproven. Such proofs may not be
absolutely certain but they may be reasonably certain. (We can only be reasonably certain of
almost everything we know.)
4. Because a deist type of god makes no attempt to reveal itself to its creation, I do not believe
that human beings are capable of telling the difference between the existence of such a god
and no god at all. When theists insist that it is impossible to prove that a god does not exist,
I believe that is only true with regard to a deist type of god.
5. Because I grant the slight possibility that a deist type of god might exist, I consider myself
to be an agnostic atheist: one who does not believe in a god but does not claim to be certain
that no god exists.
6. Because a deist type of god is not concerned with human behavior (any more than it is
concerned with the behavior of other animals), whether or not a deist type of god actually
exists is not that important to us. In either case, human morality is strictly a human concern.
The primary reason for studying philosophy is to study ethics.
We debate metaphysics in order to answer ethical questions.
We debate epistemology in order to answer metaphysical questions.
The Child way:
(The Id is our Child side, and acts
according to the Pleasure Principle.)
To be happy is to be happy in the present moment.
We should believe what makes us feel good to believe.
The Adult way:
(The Ego is our Adult side, and acts
according to the Reality Principle.)
To be happy is to be happy in the long run.
We must learn to cope with reality, and to accomplish this
we must try to discover what is actually true.
(Truth is that which corresponds to the facts of reality.)
When I was young I was told that men had one less rib than women do. And I believed it.
It made sense considering that one of Adam's Ribs was removed to create Eve.
I mentioned it to a junior high science teacher once and he gave me a funny look.
When you're young, it's easy to be convinced that such things are actually true.
"When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I put away childish things."
1 Corinthians 13:11
I am not absolutely certain but I've come to the conclusion that if the God the Christians believe in
actually existed, I would already be aware of His existence. If He is omnipotent and wants me to be
aware of His existence, then He could and He would make me aware. And if He is omniscient, then
He would be aware of my sincere desire to know the truth.
The Christians I come in contact with make excuses, deny my sincerity, claim I have ulterior motives
and wish to believe that He doesn't exist. They are not omniscient, and I believe it is their desire to
know the truth that is insincere. Their beliefs are so important to them that they are unable to doubt
them. They are addicted to those beliefs because of the comfort and hope they derive from them,
and it is exactly the same as being addicted to alcohol or drugs.
If the Christian God truly exists, I believe that He will eventually let me know.
I will not be fooled by hypocritical Christians and their irrational arguments.
All of the Christians I know fail at Ethos and Logos.
All they have is Pathos and that will not convince me.
I am feeling greatly troubled. Most of my siblings who call themselves Christians, like many
American Evangelicals today, have forsaken the teachings of the Biblical Jesus and have
become part of a brainwashing cult that follows a false prophet. (I find it somewhat odd that
though I'm no longer a Christian I am more able to recognize a false prophet than they are:
Matthew 7:15-20.)
I mentioned in the commentary of my "Never Never Land" article that for a long time after
my conversion to atheism I still had a lot of respect for Christianity and the Christians I knew,
but since American Christianity has changed so drastically in recent years, I have almost no
respect for it now. I don't know why it bothers me so much but I would find it quite refreshing
to find one True Christian; someone who I could respect despite the fact that I disagree with
what they believe; one who has wisdom, integrity, and kindness; one who sincerely believes
what they say they believe and actually follows the teachings of the one they call their Lord.
I have had a lot of negative encounters with people who call themselves Christian lately,
and as a result, my respect for Christianity has reached an all-time low.
My own experiences and things I see in the news have led me to the following conclusions:
At least 95% of American Christians today are stupid, incapable of logic and critical thinking,
and either unwilling or unable to question the things they believe.
At least 90% of them are brainwashed cultists.
And at least 90% are Christians In Name Only: hypocrites who do not really follow the teachings
of the one they call their Lord and Savior. (The mob who stormed our nation's Capitol in 2021
wore and carried Christian symbols, but there was nothing Christ-like about them.)
America is pretty messed up these days.
Many atheists I know are more Christ-like than most of the Christians I know.
If Christ were to come today, those who call themselves Christian
would be the ones to crucify him.
"The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians,
who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle.
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable."
Brennan Manning
"God's name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you." - Romans 2:24
Additional discussion of these subjects may be found in the commentaries
for my articles "Religion and Politics" and "Never Never Land",
and my poem "Buscadors de el Tesoro Escondido".
🌎 MUNDUS SINE CAESARIBUS 👑
Moondog Radio (A History of Music) (Article) - 8/13/2020 8:46:43 AM
Since retiring from my job I’ve become a self-employed music historian.
The hours are long and I don’t get paid anything, but at least I enjoy the work.
Of all the playlists I have created, Country/Rock has become my favorite. I listen to it all the time, and I'm
constantly tweaking it to make sure it's the perfect mixture of Country and Rock, fun songs and sad songs.
My Spotify description for it says: "Americana, Folk, Bluegrass, Rockabilly, Classic Country, Country Pop,
Country Rock, Southern Rock, and Countryish Songs by Rock & Roll Artists". But it also includes many of
my Local and Indie favorites that aren't really Country but fit well in the collection.
Nebraska Artists included in my Country/Rock playlist:
The Allendales, Hector Anchondo, Azure Ray, Evan Bartels, Bazile Mills,
Belles, Sarah Benck, Kait Berreckman, The Big Deep, Black Squirrels,
The Blacktop Ramblers, Blue Bird, Bright Eyes, Clarence Tilton, Conduits,
Matt Cox, Kristi Curtis, DL Diedrich, Monica Eby, The Electroliners,
Jason Ferguson, Field Club, Filter Kings, FortyTwenty, Mitch Gettman,
The Good Life, The Rex Granite Band, Kyle Harvey, Brad Hoshaw, It's True,
Jack Hotel, Simon Joyner, Kali Indiana, Kill Bosby, Knife Fight Justice,
Kris Lager, Landing On The Moon, Chad Lee, Lonely Estates, Mad Darling,
Cass Brostad (Madisons), Lloyd McCarter, McCarthy Trenching, Jeremy Mercy,
The Mezcal Brothers, Midwest Dilemma, David Nance, Neva Dinova,
Heather Newman, Paper Owls, The Pendrakes, Pony Creek, Sack of Lions,
Chris Saub, Mike Semrad, Scott Severin, Son of 76 and The Watchmen,
Southpaw Bluegrass Band, Shaun Sparks, Stonebelly, Thousand Houses,
Tilly and The Wall, Travelling Mercies, Vago, Andre Vander Velde,
Virgin Mary Pistol Grip, Andrea von Kampen, Voodoo Method, Orion Walsh,
Jimmy Weber, Matt Whipkey, Tim Wildsmith, The Wildwoods, The Willards Band
I recently created a new playlist called "ROCK & ROLL"
for when I'm more in the mood for Rock than Country.
It has 1,000 songs in it, and its description says: "A large variety of
Classic Rock, Modern Rock, Hard Rock, Soft Rock, R&B, Soul, and Funk."
When played in shuffle mode, it is the Ultimate Classic Rock Radio Station.
My new "ROCK & ROLL" playlist inspired me to dig deeper
and create a New series of playlists that present the History of Rock & Roll:
"50's ROCK!", "60's ROCK!", "70's ROCK!", "80's ROCK!", "90's ROCK!".
(My Ultimate Radio Stations when played in shuffle mode.)
I may eventually get around to creating "Modern ROCK!".
I created another new playlist.
It's called "Classic Albums" and that's what it's all about.
Four songs each from some of the greatest albums ever made.
The albums are in the order they were released, from Frank Sinatra's
"Songs For Swingin' Lovers" (1956) to David Bowie's "Blackstar" (2016).
My Videos (Article) - 2/5/2019 12:21:36 PM
The music used in each video:
L'Homme Solitaire
"Well" by Conduits (Omaha band)
Where Did Our Summer Go?
"Where Did Our Summer Go?" by Danny and The Red Ball Jets (me on drums)
Sans Rêves
"Night Killer" by Nicole LeClerc (Omaha singer-songwriter)
"One Good Friend" by Electric Needle Room (Omaha band)
"Finally" by Danny and The Red Ball Jets (me on drums)
Never Again
"Never Again" by Mark Sebring (solo piano piece)
Gestures In The Dark
"Piano Sonata No. 8" by Ludwig van Beethoven
"Symphony No. 5" by Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky
"Piano Concerto No. 2" by Sergei Rachmaninoff
"Death and Transfiguration" by Richard Strauss
The Hermit
"Reverie" by Claude Debussy
My Videos (Article) - 2/5/2019 12:02:23 PM
Thank you for the walk down memory lane in the first videos. You look like you had a lot of fun and I believe those were original compositions you played. Not only are you a lyricist, but I see that you also play a number of instruments.
Although the title was a little misleading, I really liked Gestures in the Dark for its peaceful music (again, not sure if it was original or not) and the scenes of animals that matched the peacefulness beautifully.
But most of all I like The Hermit for its words, images, and music. Beautifully done.
Ron
Things I've Written - Part 3 (Article) - 12/12/2018 7:35:45 AM
Pay attention! The great dichotomy is subtly explained and eventually resolved
as The Stoic becomes more and more dominant. (Je suis L'Homme Solitaire.) 🧙🏻♂️
"Eros and Lethe: Always the conflict between
the desire to reveal and the desire to conceal."
L'Homme Solitaire
English poems with foreign titles:
Buscadors de el Tesoro Escondido (2005: Spanish for "Seekers of the Hidden Treasure")
Jamais Plus (2014: French for "Never Again")
Il Cuore Vuole (2015: Italian for "The Heart Wants")
Quand La Solitude Est Trop Forte (2015: French for "When The Loneliness Is Too Strong")
Hikikomori (2016: Japanese term for social withdrawal)
Solamente Uno (2019: Spanish for "Only One")
La Vie Sans Rêves (2023: French for "Life Without Dreams")
Poems written in a foreign language:
Uno Sueño Que Importa (2012: Spanish for "One Dream That Matters")
Ataraxia (2012: Greek for "Equanimity")
Mon Désespoir (2013: French for "My Despair")
Parfois, Mais Jamais Plus (2015: French for "Sometimes, But Never Again")
L'Amour Compte Plus (2018: French for "Love Matters More")
Personne (2021: French for "Nobody")
Duxu's Resp Jest (2023: My own language for "Bozo's Last Gasp")
Poems that mix multiple languages:
Soliloquy (2012: English title)
Eros and Lethe (2013: Greek for "Love and Oblivion")
Apatheia (2018: Greek for "Without Passion")
The Rest of The Story:
In the Spring of 2011 I participated in some jam sessions with guitarist Jan Jewell.
(He calls himself Subdued Blue on ReverbNation.)
We played one song he’d written but everything else was pure improvisation.
Some of what we played is posted on my ReverbNation page and his Subdued Blue page.
We considered starting a band or maybe playing an open mic show sometime, but I ended up working
seven days a week on a big project during the summer of 2011, and gave up on the idea.
Around 2012-2013 I started feeling like a misunderstood misfit, like I didn’t really belong anywhere.
I started going to fewer music shows, and to feel less and less comfortable on Facebook.
I decided that 2013 would be my “Year Of The Hermit”, and I’d leave Facebook and the nightlife behind.
But, at the end of January, a good friend (Gary Flanagan) passed away, and it made me change my mind
for a while. I returned to Facebook and started going to shows again.
But I still didn’t feel comfortable on Facebook. I still didn’t feel like I belonged anymore.
Over the next few years I pulled away more and more, and I eventually decided to become a recluse again,
beginning in 2016.
In March 2013 I was invited to a Travelling Mercies “Motel” recording session at Curtis Grubb’s recording studio.
(I’m one of several people who shout “Gotta get this show on the road!” in the song “Travelling Preacher”.)
After the session I sat down and started playing the piano there.
(It used to be I couldn’t be around a piano without being tempted to play it.)
I was surprised then, when Curtis offered to record me. And we recorded two of my songs that day.
We recorded a pretty good version of a song I’d been playing called “Never Again”.
(I finished that song the night before Gary Flanagan’s funeral.)
And we recorded a really sloppy version of my “Generic Ethnic Music In G Minor”, which I consider to be the
best song I’ve ever written. But I had no idea I would be recording it that day and I hadn’t practiced it for a while.
I have both songs posted on ReverbNation, and “Never Again” is used in both my “Never Again” and
“Christmas with The Sebrings” videos.
Of all the piano pieces I’ve written, they are the only ones that were ever recorded.
In July 2013 I had the pleasure of singing “Five Dollar Bill” with Travelling Mercies at their “Motel” CD release show
at The Waiting Room.
Also in July 2013, Sue’s father moved in with us, and he spent the last five months of his life here.
Unfortunately, when he moved in we inherited his furniture, and my music room became a bedroom.
My drums have been in pieces ever since. I no longer have a place to set them up.
I haven't touched my piano in almost as long. (Hope is the enemy. Desire leads to disappointment.)
At this point I've forgotten almost all the songs I’ve written.
No one will ever hear "Sorta Pop Rag" again, and no one cares.
"Now all them dreams that seemed so important.
Well Mister, they vanished right into the air.
Now I just act like I don't remember.
And there ain't noone else who cares."
Dreams die. Life goes on. Accept things as they are.
In 2013, as I found myself stumbling reluctantly into Stoicism, I started writing a series of esoteric poems on
desire, despair, and resignation, beginning with “Eρως και Λήθη" (Eros and Lethe).
In late 2015 I wrote an essay entitled “απάθεια: Vita pergit. Accipere res ut sunt.” in which I tried to explain myself
and the things I was thinking, before I became a recluse again. I’m not sure if I accomplished what I'd intended.
Go to "Things I've Written - Part 4" for "The End of The Story".
📘 The Story of My Life
My AuthorsDen website began as a simple collection of my songs, poems, short stories, and essays,
but I've gradually transformed it into a NON-LINEAR BOOK which is a combination of autobiography
and commentary on human nature. Influenced by William Faulkner's "The Sound And The Fury" and
"Choose Your Own Adventure" books, I decided to try to create something new and make my story
both non-chronological (like "The Sound And The Fury") and non-linear (unlike typical physical books).
I did this by making each of my songs, poems, stories, etc. a chapter of my story, and connecting them
by making each chapter contain links to several other chapters (giving the reader multiple choices),
so if you follow the links from chapter to chapter, you will find there are numerous paths from the
beginning to the end of the story. (Some paths and chapters are easier to find than others.) Though
there are many paths, there is a definite beginning to my story (my AuthorsDen front page) and a
definite ending. You would probably recognize the end if you found it, but whether you understood it
or not could depend on which path you took and how well you understood the various chapters along
the way. (My commentaries in the review sections of my pages are an important part of the story.
They explain a lot. The videos at the bottom of the pages are often helpful as well.)
"His full story is a combination of autobiography, commentary on human nature,
and suicide note. (The note was as far as he could get.)" - Kimber Garns
(Kimber Garns is one of several pseudonyms I use that are anagrams of my name.)
"This is the story of the hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore.
It is not just about me. My character represents many people in the world
who are like me." - Mark A. Sebring (L'Homme Solitaire)
"Walked out this mornin'. Don't believe what I saw.
Hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore.
Seems I'm not alone in bein' alone.
Hundred billion castaways lookin' for a home."
The Police (Message In A Bottle)
Things I've Written - Part 2 (Article) - 12/12/2018 7:32:39 AM
As you read my work you may notice a great dichotomy:
The struggle between 🤡 Bozo The Magic Weasel (The Romantic - influenced by Eros, governed by desire)
and 🧙🏻♂️ Roger T. Slug (The Stoic - influenced by Thanatos, governed by "the reality principle").
"I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch.
He said to me, 'You must not ask for so much.'
Then a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door.
She cried to me, 'Hey, why not ask for more?'"
Leonard Cohen (Bird On A Wire)
More of The Story:
Around 2005-2006 I started getting interested in the Omaha music scene.
My friend Nick Miller (Danny and The Moondogs, Moonshadow) had also migrated from Boone to Des Moines to Omaha,
and was playing in local cover bands (Drunken Intentions, Party Favor) so it was cover bands that I first started listening to.
In 2007 I started becoming more interested in original artists. Monica Eby, Scott Severin, Matt Whipkey, and Sarah Benck
were among my first favorites.
By 2008 I had become really involved in local music. For years I went to at least two or three shows a week, including the
Monday Night Song Show at Barley Street Tavern every week. This lasted until around 2013 when I started tapering off a bit.
I joined MySpace and SLAM Omaha (SLAM = Support Local Art and Music) in 2007, mostly to connect with local musicians.
In 2008 I replaced MySpace with Facebook, which has a much broader scope.
For many years I’ve had sort of a love/hate relationship with Facebook.
I’ve left it and returned again many times since 2013. Hopefully I left it for good in early 2020.
I closed down my Facebook poetry page and my "Moondog Radio" music video page in 2020.
When I heard in 2008 that MSN Groups would be closing down in 2009, I joined Multiply and Yuku.
I decided to make Multiply my “personal website” and migrated my songs, poems, short stories, and photos there.
I also posted a collection of my grandmother's poetry there.
I decided to make Yuku my “archive site” and archived my philosophical, religious, and political discussions, etc.
from MSN Groups there.
In 2009 I joined AuthorsDen and posted some of my songs and poems there. At different times I’ve removed and
reposted my poetry there.
In 2010 I started a new (mostly philosophy) group on Yuku to replace my MSN Group “Lives of Quiet Desperation”.
It didn’t last long.
In 2012 I learned that Multiply was closing down, so I decided to make Yuku my "personal website" and migrated
all of my songs and poems, etc. there.
Over the next few years I put a lot of effort into perfecting my Yuku "website", trying to make it a reflection of who I was.
Throughout 2016, my first year as a recluse, I maintained a very personal blog on Yuku called "L'Histoire de L'Homme Solitaire"
where I expressed my innermost feelings. I don't know if anyone read it.
In 2017 I learned that Yuku was going to be converted to Tapatalk, so I created a Google+ community and migrated
my songs and poems there.
As I’d expected, when Yuku was converted to Tapatalk my “website” was a shambles, so I closed it to the public and made it
my “private archive”.
In 2019 I learned that Google+ was closing down, so I decided to make AuthorsDen my new “personal website” and to migrate
my songs and poems and a few of my philosophical essays there. So far, I’m pretty happy with it.
I've been working on making it nearly as comprehensive and unusual as my Yuku "website" was.
I intend for it to be my legacy - the place to go, after I'm gone, for anyone who might wish to know me.
In April 2008 I read my poetry in front of an audience for the first time at the Barley Street Tavern Monday Night Song Show.
In July I recited a couple of my poems at Mick’s Music and Bar.
I’ve read my poetry at the Barley Steet Song Show a few more times since then. Once I also played a medley of piano pieces I’d written.
In 2010 some of my poems and one of my short stories were printed in a local publication called "Found In Benson".
In 2011 I belonged to a weekly poetry group called Provoke Poetry that met at the Benson Grind, and read my poetry there.
In 2012 a Spanish love poem I'd written for my wife was included in a chapbook published by a Lincoln poetry group.
In 2013 I read a few of my poems at Big Al’s annual music festival.
My last time on stage was in December 2015 at the Brad Hoshaw Tribute Night at Barley Street Tavern.
I presented a mash-up of two of Brad’s songs with guitar accompaniment.
In the summer of 2008 I bought a new set of drums and started a new band with Danny Hull and Nick Miller called
Danny and The Red Ball Jets. But we hardly ever got together because Danny lived in Des Moines and Nick and I lived in Omaha.
We had one informal outdoor show in Des Moines in September. Six people attended. Two of them were our wives.
In March 2009 Danny and I played a set at the Louis Bar open mic show. It went pretty well.
In September 2009 we had our first recording session with Mike Kronschnabel at the Moose Lodge Recording Studio in Omaha.
See my “Where Did Our Summer Go?” video for one of the songs from that recording session,
and photos of Danny and The Moondogs, Moonshadow, and Danny and The Red Ball Jets.
I used another song from that session (“Finally”) in my “Sans Rêves” video.
Sometime afterward I was kicked out of the band because they misunderstood something I had posted on Facebook.
It started as an honest misunderstanding anyway. They simply jumped to incorrect conclusions. But then Dan,
who can't ever admit being wrong about anything, got angry and began to deliberately distort everything I said,
just to prove himself right. Ending a friendship was a small price to pay to avoid admitting he'd made a mistake.
The band changed their name to Monona and Coolwhite, and when the CD was released my drum parts had been replaced.
I still feel bitter about it and I’m no longer on speaking terms with either of them. There will be no reconciliation.
I started working for Ameritas Life Insurance in Lincoln Nebraska in October 2008.
I commuted there until I retired in July 2018.
I lost both of my parents in 2009, my mother in January and my father in December.
Go to "Things I've Written - Part 3" for "The Rest of The Story".
📘 The Story of My Life
My AuthorsDen website began as a simple collection of my songs, poems, short stories, and essays,
but I've gradually transformed it into a NON-LINEAR BOOK which is a combination of autobiography
and commentary on human nature. Influenced by William Faulkner's "The Sound And The Fury" and
"Choose Your Own Adventure" books, I decided to try to create something new and make my story
both non-chronological (like "The Sound And The Fury") and non-linear (unlike typical physical books).
I did this by making each of my songs, poems, stories, etc. a chapter of my story, and connecting them
by making each chapter contain links to several other chapters (giving the reader multiple choices),
so if you follow the links from chapter to chapter, you will find there are numerous paths from the
beginning to the end of the story. (Some paths and chapters are easier to find than others.) Though
there are many paths, there is a definite beginning to my story (my AuthorsDen front page) and a
definite ending. You would probably recognize the end if you found it, but whether you understood it
or not could depend on which path you took and how well you understood the various chapters along
the way. (My commentaries in the review sections of my pages are an important part of the story.
They explain a lot. The videos at the bottom of the pages are often helpful as well.)
"It's the strangest autobiography you could ever read, filled with amateur poetry
and philosophy, taboo topics, weird sermons, unpopular ideas, recurring themes,
hidden messages, and pure nonsense." - Karma Bingers
"Unfortunately, in this world, most people measure art by its popularity,
and even more unfortunately, many measure it by how much money it makes.
In our culture, money is the measure of everything.
In my whole life, I have never made art for money. I worked to make money.
I always made art for the sake of making art. And because I never wrote for
the purpose of making money, I didn't worry that much about pleasing others.
I wrote what I felt like writing, and said what I wanted to say, always hoping though
there might be others in the world like me who would understand and appreciate it.
My book is here for anyone in the world to read, and it costs you nothing."
Mark A. Sebring (L'Homme Solitaire)
Things I've Written - Part 4 (Article) - 12/9/2018 8:01:17 AM
The End of The Story:
🧙🏻♂️ 2016 was the beginning of my life as a recluse, after my last time on stage at the end of 2015.
I've been to a handful of music shows since then, made a few brief returns to Facebook which
I regretted, and in 2018 I retired from my job.
Over the years I was successful enough in my career to retire at 60.
But I never had any real success at being a musician or a poet,
the two things I had always dreamed of being.
Like Sylvia Plath, I've accumulated a lot of rejection slips.
Thus, "Dreams die. Life goes on. Accept things as they are." became my motto.
2020 appears to be the end for me as a poet. (I gave up on being a musician around 2013.)
It seems pointless to continue writing considering that I have no audience.
(My last uncensored poem, "Concupiscence", was inspired by a book I was reading.)
But, I've continued to add commentary to my review sections in the hope that one day
I might be understood. (P.S. I wrote a few more poems in 2021. See the list above.
I don't believe 2022 will be added to that list. I'm pretty sure I'm finished now.)
In April 2022 I decided to stop updating my AuthorsDen site and my various other websites.
No one was interested in them so it seemed pointless to continue.
At that time I wrote my very last poem, entitled “Swan Song”. It is posted below.
Later in 2022 I created AuthorsDen pages for my last two poems that were worth posting:
"Swan Song" and "Thanksgiving at Barley Street". Links to these poems are in the list above.
Since these would be the last things I'd ever write, I made a concerted effort to make people
aware of their existence. But, as I'd expected, I didn't find much interest.
I returned to Facebook briefly in 2023. It was a big mistake and I hope I'll never repeat it.
I was mostly ignored, as usual. Now I'm back in full hermit mode (I don't think I'll be
going to any more music shows) and I'm struggling to achieve apatheia again.
P.S. I have achieved apatheia/apathy again, but it has required almost total isolation.
I avoid contact with people so their disapproval and dismissal can't hurt me.
"Frank... Is that why you stopped writing? Because they told you you weren't any good?"
(from "Eddie And The Cruisers")
"That sacred impulse, that nourishes poet's hearts, that used to be mine, has all vanished.
My Muse barely plays her part, when I've taken up my tablets, she barely lays a hand there,
almost has to be forced.
I've little or no pleasure, to speak of, in writing, no joy in weaving words into metre,
whether it's the fact I've reaped no profit from it, that makes this thing the source of my misfortunes,
or that writing a poem you can't read to anyone is exactly like making gestures in the dark."
Ovid (Epistulae ex Ponto, Book IV)
“Sometimes I think we could have gone on. All of us. Trying. Forever.
But they didn't fill the desert with pyramids. They just built some. Some.
They're not still out there, building them now. Everyone, everywhere, gets up, and goes home.
Yet we must not Diabolize time. Right? We must not curse the passage of time.”
Jennifer Michael Hecht (On the Strength of All Conviction and the Stamina of Love)
Τέλος
Es ist was es ist.
Swan Song (The Last of the Poet Recluse)
So many words I have wasted over the years.
So many vain attempts to uncover the truth.
So many clever clues, clandestine revelations.
How many misunderstood intentions
and apparently contrary positions,
the result of misguided misdirection?
But then, when finally I comprehended
what all of it was about:
It no longer mattered that no one was listening,
that no one understood, no one had cared.
Because, I realized: It was too private to share.
No one else could possibly understand
even if I wanted them to.
Did I really expect them to?
Vita pergit. (Life goes on.)
Accipio res ut sunt. (I accept things as they are.)
The Solitary Man must walk alone.
Alone, but not completely alone. Not entirely.
For I have Love, that one dream that matters.
The only dream that matters to me.
More important than pleasure.
(Despite desire’s insistence.)
As essential as intimacy.
Almost as crucial as Truth.
I shall spend my life with the one I love
and care little for anything else.
Mark Sebring (Τελικό, 2022)
I know. It's not much like Bukowski or Emily Dickinson.
It's just more grandiose esotericism, as our hero attempts one more final retreat
by increasing again his voluntary isolation and his dedication to Stoic resignation.
And, while echoing the sentiments of Mr. Lennon (All You Need Is Love)
his panacea apatheia inevitably evolves into apathy.
I can be awfully hard on myself sometimes.
Oh well, I suppose I should be going.
The Solitary Man... You know how it goes. 🚶🏻♂️
Notice how in the middle of this rather critical soliloquy
he begins to refer to himself in the third person.
Then suddenly he reverts back to conversational first person.
Oops! I’m doing it again.🤡
Seriously though, this is just more "happily ever after" bullshit.
If you want the truth, you'll have to look elsewhere.
Can you handle the truth?
🧙🏻♂️ THIS IS THE TRUTH:
EVEN AFTER YOU'VE FOUND THE ANSWER, THE STRUGGLE CONTINUES.
(There is always a beggar on a wooden crutch, and a pretty woman in a darkened door.)
"Only this and nothing more." 🦢
Edgar Allan Poe
La Vie Sans Rêves ⛅
God is a concept that gives people hope
when hope is more important than truth.
I repeat: God is a placebo.
I don't believe in America.
I don't believe in apathy.
I don't believe in religion.
I don't believe in conformity.
I don't believe in politics.
I don't believe in philosophy.
I don't believe in music.
I don't believe in poetry.
I don't believe in friendship.
I don't believe in family.
I just believe in me.
The one I love and me.
That's reality.
The dream is over.
Mark Sebring (With a little help from "God", 2023)
La Vie Sans Rêves (Life Without Dreams)
This is sort of a sequel to "Swan Song", and my "Sans Rêves" music video.
I once wrote a longer version of McCartney's "Eleanor Rigby" (Elmer Wigby, 2007).
Now I've written a shorter version of John Lennon's "God".
I replaced Lennon's definition of God with my own
but that was an afterthought, to make it obvious
that what I'd written was patterned after "God".
I actually wrote the second half of the poem first
(beginning with "music" and "poetry") to reiterate
the message of "Sans Rêves" and "Swan Song".
The two sides of me are becoming more violently opposed! 💥
🧙♂️Roger keeps killing 🤡Bozo, but he won't stay dead.
🤡Bozo is still alive (but 🧙♂️Roger is in control).
Both Roger and Bozo have written sequels for "Swan Song"🦢
Roger's is an affirmation.👍 Bozo's, a rebuttal.👎
Both contain lyrics sung by someone named John.
🦢THE END IS NEAR! (🦋 The End is Here.💀)
▶ Have you checked out my YouTube Community lately?
🤡 There are lots of strange things going on over there.❔
Like here, the really interesting stuff is in my comments.
(And the comments in my videos as well.📺) 🦢
▶ If you are looking for my YouTube Community,
YouTube has renamed their "Community" tab to "Posts".
The end of my story is there. (Roger won.)
Η επιδίωξη της απάθεια:
Accipere res ut sunt. 🧙♂️
L'amour est le seul rêve qui compte.
(Read the conclusion of my commentary for "Who I Am".)
Things I've Written - Part 1 (Article) - 11/14/2018 6:27:43 AM
The things I've written reveal who I am.
I'm a complex person but I believe I could be understood
by someone wise enough, if someone cared enough.
My secrets are revealed here but you must read it all.
If you read just parts of it, you might get the wrong impression.
(We live in a time when people tend to read just a bit of something,
jump to conclusions, and then cling to those conclusions, though
if they'd taken the time to read the whole story, the conclusions
they'd have reached would have been quite different.)
Everything I've posted here is a piece of the puzzle.🧩
You won't see a clear picture until you've put it all together.
There are links everywhere to lead you down the rabbit hole.
(It pays to watch the videos and read my reviews.)
🎭 No hay máscara. Solamente un enigma.❓
What is the difference between a mask and a riddle?
A mask 🎭 is intended simply to conceal.
A riddle ❓, to selectively reveal.
(Much is revealed to those who are truly interested
and able to understand.◀)
Some Biographical Background: (The Story of My Life)
I was born in Boone Iowa in August 1957.
I became interested in music in the late 1960s. I was a big Beatles fan.
I started attending Boone Jr. Sr. High School in September 1969.
I started dating Sue in early 1974. We met at the First Baptist Church of Boone.
My first band was Danny and The Moondogs in early 1975.
We were the Sha Na Na of Boone Iowa during the fifties craze of the mid-1970s.
We dressed in fifties garb, sang to pre-recorded music, and performed comedy skits at church dinner parties.
I wrote my first song, a silly ditty called “I’m Gonna Be A Farmer”, while I was still in high school.
And I was briefly in a band called Oasis II that played two shows in our church basement in the summer of '75.
I graduated from Boone High in May 1975 and left for the army in September.
At the beginning of 1976 I was stationed at Fort McPherson in Atlanta Georgia, where I was a computer operator.
I married Sue in September 1977 and she joined me in Atlanta for the last year of my enlistment.
I got out of the army in October 1978 and got a job in Des Moines Iowa.
While living in Des Moines I was a drummer in bands called Moonshadow and Eclipse with former members of
Danny and The Moondogs. Neither of these bands had any gigs during the time I was with them.
We moved to Sioux Falls South Dakota in June 1982 when I got a job working for Citicorp.
Our son Adam was born in Des Moines in 1980, and our daughter Rachel was born in Sioux Falls in 1983.
During our years in Sioux Falls we were active at Trinity Baptist Church.
I was a deacon and the manager of our church softball team. Sue was our church secretary.
I was also in another fifties nostalgia group called The Lucky Tigers that sang at church parties.
While working for Citicorp I worked my way up to being a mainframe systems programmer.
I also took piano lessons, while my wife and children became black belts in Tae Kwon Do.
I played one of my own compositions, "Sorta Pop Rag", at my second piano recital.
We moved to Omaha Nebraska in July 1996 where I got a job with PKS Information Services.
I started working for First Data Resources in January 1999.
While working for FDR in 2003, I had an important role in building a data center in Shanghai China.
(I installed the operating system and other system software.)
I returned to Shanghai in late 2007 to implement a major software upgrade.
I converted from Christianity to atheism and secular humanism in 1999.
Around the time of my conversion I became interested in studying philosophy.
I got involved in MSN discussion groups in 2001. My first group was a philosophy group called "Meaning Of Life".
I spent a lot of my time there discussing philosophy and religion. I sometimes referred to it as “Mark’s Other Life”.
I was also involved in other philosophy groups, and in music, classic film, and poetry and creative writing groups.
It was during this period that I started writing lots of songs and poems.
In my early days in philosophy groups my favorite topic was the question of the existence of God. Later, it was
the nature of ethics. Still later it was the secret of happiness and how to deal with the problem of wanting.
(It was dealing with the problem of wanting that eventually led me to Buddhism, Epicureanism, and Stoicism.)
Nowadays I think and write a lot about INNER CONFLICTS and the problem of NOSTALGIA.
In 2006 I started my own (multi-purpose but mostly philosophy) group called “Lives of Quiet Desperation”.
While I was there I had a thread called "A place for poetry" where each day I posted a few of my favorite poems.
I was sporadically active there until MSN Groups closed down in 2009.
In the early 2000s, both of our children were married and we started having grandchildren.
And Sue got a horse, so horseback riding became her primary hobby.
Go to "Things I've Written - Part 2" for "More of The Story".
My AuthorsDen website appears on the surface to be
just another collection of poems and short stories,
but those few who take the time to look
may discover it's really a NON-LINEAR BOOK! (ReAd My BoOk)
📘 The Story of My Life
My AuthorsDen website began as a simple collection of my songs, poems, short stories, and essays,
but I've gradually transformed it into a NON-LINEAR BOOK which is a combination of autobiography
and commentary on human nature. Influenced by William Faulkner's "The Sound And The Fury" and
"Choose Your Own Adventure" books, I decided to try to create something new and make my story
both non-chronological (like "The Sound And The Fury") and non-linear (unlike typical physical books).
I did this by making each of my songs, poems, stories, etc. a chapter of my story, and connecting them
by making each chapter contain links to several other chapters (giving the reader multiple choices),
so if you follow the links from chapter to chapter, you will find there are numerous paths from the
beginning to the end of the story. (Some paths and chapters are easier to find than others.) Though
there are many paths, there is a definite beginning to my story (my AuthorsDen front page) and a
definite ending. You would probably recognize the end if you found it, but whether you understood it
or not could depend on which path you took and how well you understood the various chapters along
the way. (My commentaries in the review sections of my pages are an important part of the story.
They explain a lot. The videos at the bottom of the pages are often helpful as well.)
Unfortunately, so far, I have been unable to persuade anyone to read it.😞
"The title of my book is 'Gestures In The Dark', which comes from a letter written by an exiled
Roman poet named Ovid. It indicates that I often write only for my own benefit, knowing that it is
unlikely that anyone else will ever read it. My main characters are 🧙🏻Roger T. Slug who represents
my Stoic side influenced by my Ego, and 🤡Bozo The Magic Weasel who represents my Romantic
side influenced by my Id. You may think of them more simply as my mind and my emotions, which
are often in conflict. As a result, you might notice contrary positions throughout my writing, since I
write from those different points of view. The primary messages of my book include: 'lives of quiet
desperation' (Thoreau), 'the conflict between the beggar on his wooden crutch and the pretty
woman in her darkened door' (Cohen), and 'how the heart wavers from the desire for pleasure
to the desire to die' (Dickinson)."
Mark A. Sebring (L'Homme Solitaire)
After I'm Gone (blog) (Article) - 11/10/2018 9:16:32 AM
Excerpts from a diary entry I had posted here:
Perhaps one day, after I'm gone, someone will read the things I have posted here.
And maybe, just maybe, they'll understand how I felt.
My AuthorsDen site and my YouTube channel contain many attempts to explain the things
I've been feeling, in the hope that someday someone might be interested.
If you wish to understand me, read my biography page, my poetry, and my articles on AuthorsDen.
Watch the videos. Follow my links. Read the commentaries in my reviews. They explain a lot.
Read the text and comments in my YouTube videos, my About tab, and my Community.
And watch my playlist: "L'Histoire de L'Homme Solitaire". It tells my story.
(I believe I'm the only one who has ever watched it.)
"Good to know that if I ever need attention ALL I HAVE TO DO IS DIE." - Sylvia Plath (1932-1963)
"A hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore."
📘 The Story of My Life
My AuthorsDen website began as a simple collection of my songs, poems, short stories, and essays,
but I've gradually transformed it into a NON-LINEAR BOOK which is a combination of autobiography
and commentary on human nature. Influenced by William Faulkner's "The Sound And The Fury" and
"Choose Your Own Adventure" books, I decided to try to create something new and make my story
both non-chronological (like "The Sound And The Fury") and non-linear (unlike typical physical books).
I did this by making each of my songs, poems, stories, etc. a chapter of my story, and connecting them
by making each chapter contain links to several other chapters (giving the reader multiple choices),
so if you follow the links from chapter to chapter, you will find there are numerous paths from the
beginning to the end of the story. (Some paths and chapters are easier to find than others.) Though
there are many paths, there is a definite beginning to my story (my AuthorsDen front page) and a
definite ending. You would probably recognize the end if you found it, but whether you understood it
or not could depend on which path you took and how well you understood the various chapters along
the way. (My commentaries in the review sections of my pages are an important part of the story.
They explain a lot. The videos at the bottom of the pages are often helpful as well.)
Unfortunately, no one (not one person) read it while I was alive.💀 The puzzle remains unsolved.🧩
Non mi conoscevi perché non volevi.
If anyone should read all of this someday, After I'm Gone, I hope they will understand
that I've been pretty candid here, maybe a lot more candid than I should have been,
because I DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE to talk to. Writing was the only thing I could do.
(Not telling people how we feel is what Thoreau meant by "QUIET desperation".)
So I have expressed all of my unhappiness and disappointment, everything I've felt
bitter about, here on AuthorsDen and in my YouTube Channel. ◀
"I ended up back in my bedroom
and everything turned out all right.
I don't recall now how I got there.
It was a blue moon sort of night."
(Blue Moon Sort Of Night)
In the end, everything did turn out all right.
But in order to deal with my disappointment, I had to write.
And in order to understand my feelings, I had to be honest.
By the end though, I had finally REALized
that Love IS the only thing that matters.
"La mejor parte de ser es estar contigo." 🧡
Apatheia: Vita pergit. Accipere res ut sunt. - Part 1 (Article) - 11/8/2018 6:35:08 AM
Some of the things I write are autobiographical. Others are pure fiction. Most are a mixture of the two.
Throughout this website, I've deliberately made it unclear which parts are autobiographical and which
are fiction. But, by using this mixture of autobiography and fiction, I believe I've told the story of my life.
All these stories I have written. The story of my life that I have told here.
The reason they're a mixture of autobiography and fiction is they are not just about me.
They are about all of the people like me. Thousands of people who are lonely like I am.
The mass of men who lead lives of quiet desperation. I am just one example.
It was never about making the details of my own life public.
The point was to write things that others could identify with.
I have mostly written about desire and despair, resignation and isolation,
inner conflicts and nostalgia, for people like myself:
The mass of men who lead lives of quiet desperation.
There are three quotations you will find here more than any others.
They explain a great majority of what I've written.
From Henry David Thoreau's "Walden":
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
What is called resignation is confirmed desperation.
From Leonard Cohen's "Bird On A Wire":
I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch.
He said to me, "You must not ask for so much."
Then a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door.
She cried to me, "Hey! Why not ask for more?"
My favorite poem by Emily Dickinson:
The heart asks pleasure first,
And then, excuse from pain;
And then, those little anodynes
That deaden suffering,
And then, to go to sleep;
And then, if it should be
The will of its Inquisitor,
The liberty to die.
There are certain Serious Subjects and Taboo Topics 🐘
(elephants in the room) that I've often written about. 📝
Some people may be shocked by my commentary
on these subjects:
Desire / The Problem of Wanting
Despair / Resignation
Loneliness / Isolation
Inner Conflicts 🤡|🧙🏻♂️
Sexual Frustration
Nostalgia
Alcohol
Infidelity
Suicide
Death💀
Religion
People might also be shocked if they happen to find
the end of my story.📘 It's a bit difficult to understand.
(I'm not sure I understand it completely myself.)
Poetry (Article) - 10/30/2018 8:58:09 AM
There are many others I could have included:
Shakespeare's "Sonnet 116" (I recited it at my wedding),
Poe's "The Raven", Carroll's "The Walrus And The Carpenter" or "Jabberwocky",
Dylan Thomas' "Do not go gentle into that good night", Pablo Neruda's "If You Forget Me",
Thomas Lux' "The Swimming Pool", Sharon Olds' "I Go Back to May 1937".
Some of my other favorites are scattered throughout my posts.
Look for Lord Byron, Walt Whitman, EMILY DICKINSON, Jennifer Michael Hecht.
And there's a somewhat convoluted path
which leads to Wordsworth's "Splendour In The Grass".
(See "Bernice" for a selection of my grandmother's poems.)
I will talk to you of Art,
for there is nothing else to talk about.
For there is nothing else.
Life is an obscure hobo
bumming a ride on the omnibus of Art.
Burn gas buggies, and whip your sour cream of circumstance,
and hope, and go ahead and sleep your bloody heads off.
Creation is. All else is not.
What is not Creation is graham crackers.
Let it all crumble to feed the Creator.
The Artist is. All others are not.
Charles B. Griffith (A Bucket of Blood)
Many of my poems, articles, and commentaries contain quotations
and references to classic literature, poetry, popular songs, and movies.
Are you familiar with them? (Some of them are a bit obscure.)
Do you recognize their relevance?
And how many anagrams of Mark Sebring have you spotted?
I haven't written any original poetry for some time. (I think I'm done now.)
Nowadays I just write bits of dialog and prose, observations on human nature
interspersed with quotations, literary references, snippets from my own poetry,
and then look for an appropriate place to insert them into the commentaries in
the review sections of my poems. As a result, some of my commentaries have
evolved into weird sermons. And some might find them difficult to understand.
At this point my commentaries may tell more of my story than my poetry does,
but that story is often told non-chronologically and I sometimes switch between
different points of view. This particular storytelling style is somewhat similar to
Faulkner's "The Sound And The Fury". (The main characters in My story are:
🧙Roger T. Slug, and 🤡Bozo The Magic Weasel.)
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
that struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
and then is heard no more.
It is a tale told by an idiot,
full of Sound and Fury,
signifying nothing.
William Shakespeare (Macbeth)
Check out "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde"
at the end of "A House Divided". 🧙🏻♂️|🤡
(Based on the parable by Robert Louis Stevenson
and a few lines from Cohen's "Bird On A Wire",
it summarizes the primary message of my book.)
📚 Currently reading:
"The Call Of The Wild" by Jack London
"Shattered" by Dean Koontz
Poetry (Article) - 10/30/2018 8:34:53 AM
The first poem has a lesson to it, I think. At one point you refer to a dyke (derogatory word for a lesbian) rather than dike… Unless you meant to?
While reading I began to gather that you did not write these poems. As I read A Secret Life, I realized that we all have a secret life. Some are probably just a little bit more heavy on our minds. Why the Catholic Church capitalizes on secret lives by offering a confessional for people to get their secrets off their chest to the delight of voyeuristic priests.
While Geese is a real inspiration to put aside despair and move forth loudly like geese returning for another season.
Ice Storm is a very realistic depiction of someone's perception during a dreary winter day.
Ron
My Philosophy (Article) - 10/22/2018 8:53:54 AM
I have noted that your writing is often quite philosophical. As I read your article, I recognized some nearly forgotten philosophical concepts that I read while working on my doctoral dissertation in educational philosophy. My advisor believed that all teachers have a philosophy of education that influences the way they teach. I developed a scale (computerized) to determine what an individual's philosophy is. It was published but never implemented because at that time, the cost of computerizing it was excessive.
I applaud you for learning on your own. I never took a philosophy course myself, but picked up some of the same books that you read and found whereby ideas fit. You didn't mention existentialism, but I am an existentialist, securely in the philosophy of Sartre.
Ron
Apatheia: Vita pergit. Accipere res ut sunt. - Part 2 (Article) - 10/22/2018 6:36:41 AM
Excerpt from "Song of Myself" by Walt Whitman
Who goes there? hankering, gross, mystical, nude;
How is it I extract strength from the beef I eat?
What is a man anyhow? what am I? what are you?
All I mark as my own you shall offset it with your own,
Else it were time lost listening to me . . .
Why should I pray? why should I venerate and be ceremonious?
Having pried through the strata, analyzed to a hair,
counsel'd with doctors and calculated close,
I find no sweeter fat than sticks to my own bones.
In all people I see myself, none more, and not one a barleycorn less.
And the good or bad I say of myself I say of them.
I know I am solid and sound,
To me the converging objects of the universe perpetually flow
All are written to me, and I must get what the writing means.
I know I am deathless,
I know this orbit of mine cannot be swept by a carpenter's compass,
I know I shall not pass like a child's carlacue cut with a burnt stick at night.
I know I am august,
I do not trouble my spirit to vindicate itself or be understood,
I see that the elementary laws never apologize,
(I reckon I behave no prouder than the level I plant my house by, after all.)
I exist as I am, that is enough,
If no other in the world be aware I sit content,
And if each and all be aware I sit content.
One world is aware and by far the largest to me, and that is myself,
And whether I come to my own to-day or in ten thousand or ten million years,
I can cheerfully take it now, or with equal cheerfulness I can wait.
Who I Am (Article) - 10/22/2018 6:01:10 AM
The Enthusiast:
I can talk almost endlessly about subjects I'm interested in: music, movies, literature, poetry, philosophy, psychology,
history, religion, politics. Unfortunately I know no one who enjoys discussing these things like I do. I had much better
luck on Google+ than on Facebook. It was more topical which made it easier to find people with similar interests.
I discussed movies in classic movie groups, shared poetry in poetry groups, shared music videos in music groups,
shared my photos in nature photography groups, and enjoyed those that were shared by others. On Facebook I was
usually ignored when I brought up things I was interested in, and I often offended people when I expressed my views
on religion and politics. It seemed like the only people who ever read my posts were rural, religious, and right-wing.
My Legacy (A House with Many Rooms):
This website has evolved into sort of an autobiography and commentary on the human condition, but it's a bit odd.
It's not organized in a linear sequence. Most pages contain links to other pages so it's more like a house with many
rooms, each connected to other rooms. And there are many different ways you can wander from room to room.
Some rooms are connected to many other rooms. Others aren't quite so easy to find. But there are certain rooms
that allow access to my works alphabetically (Articles, Poetry, Short Stories) or chronologically (Things I've Written).
"It's the strangest autobiography you could ever read, filled with amateur poetry and philosophy, taboo topics,
weird sermons, unpopular ideas, recurring themes, hidden messages, and pure nonsense." - Karma Bingers
"I can't imagine his stuff ever catching on. He's a non-conformist in a time of trendiness,
and much of it is too difficult for modern readers to understand." - Kimber Garns
"Some people might call it dark, but I'd say it's just real. Perhaps too real for a lot of people." - Bram K. Singer
"Well, I think he's a dirty old man. And I don't like the things he says about God." - Marge Brinks
Reflections of a Hermit 🧙🏻♂️
I am not fooled by ancient myths.
I am not drawn to worldly delights.
Before I came, while I'm here, after I've gone:
The world is full of good things.
The world is full of bad things.
My presence makes little difference.
I accept my insignificance.
I'll spend the day with the one I love
and care little for anything else.
Mark Sebring (2015)
The Solitary Man:
I am a loner, a recluse, to a certain degree because I'm afraid of people.
I'm an unusual person, a misfit, who's afraid of rejection, afraid of being misunderstood.
And it sometimes bothers me that I'm not appreciated for who I am.
(I am an artist, but no one seems to recognize me as one.
I have something to say, but no one is interested.)
I became a Stoic because it was necessary, the only way to cope with things as they are.
As I've grown older I've struggled with desire and despair, but my Stoicism
has helped me to recognize that I already have what I want most.
Now that 2021 has finally arrived, I have committed myself even more to a
life of Stoicism and seclusion. I have my wife, children, and grandchildren,
the great outdoors, and my large collections of music, movies, and books.
Dreams die. Life goes on.
I accept things as they are.
Love, is the one dream that matters.
But the heart, it wants what it wants.
The Solitary Man must walk alone.
Τέλος
Swan Song (The Last of the Poet Recluse)
So many words I have wasted over the years.
So many vain attempts to uncover the truth.
So many clever clues, clandestine revelations.
How many misunderstood intentions
and apparently contrary positions,
the result of misguided misdirection?
But then, when finally I comprehended
what all of it was about:
It no longer mattered that no one was listening,
that no one understood, no one had cared.
Because, I realized: It was too private to share.
No one else could possibly understand
even if I wanted them to.
Did I really expect them to?
Vita pergit. (Life goes on.)
Accipio res ut sunt. (I accept things as they are.)
The Solitary Man must walk alone.
Alone, but not completely alone. Not entirely.
For I have Love, that one dream that matters.
The only dream that matters to me.
More important than pleasure.
(Despite desire’s insistence.)
As essential as intimacy.
Almost as crucial as Truth.
I shall spend my life with the one I love
and care little for anything else.
Mark Sebring (Τελικό, 2022)
I now have an AuthorsDen page for my final poem, "Swan Song".🦢
It contains lots of commentary and links, AND a hidden message.❔
(The commentary and links are important.◀)
🎭 There is no mask. Only a riddle.❓
A mask 🎭 is intended simply to conceal.
A riddle ❓, to selectively reveal: 🧩
The Two Sides of Me: 🤡 | 🧙🏻♂️ (I gave them names for poetic purposes.)
🤡 = Bozo The Magic Weasel, The Romantic (governed by The Id): "The Heart Wants!"
🧙🏻♂️ = Roger T. Slug, The Stoic (governed by Ego): "Life goes on. Accept things as they are."
From Leonard Cohen's "Bird On A Wire":
🧙🏻♂️ = The beggar leaning on his wooden crutch (The Stoic): "You must not ask for so much."
🤡 = The pretty woman in her darkened door (The Romantic): "Hey! Why not ask for more?"
🧙🏻♂️🚶🏻♂️ Roger T. Slug eventually becomes "L'Homme Solitaire" (The Solitary Man):
🧙🏻♂️ = L'Homme Solitaire, The Hermit, The Solitary Man (🚶🏻♂️ = "The Solitary Man walks alone.")
🦢 = Swan Song, The Last Time, Never Again... 😞 = Nostalgia... 🦋 = Despair, Death...💀
⭕🎸🤩 = Omaha Music Scene (🚩 = Nebraska)
🌕🐕📻 = Moondog Radio (my Spotify playlist collection)
🎵📺❗ = Music Videos Galore!!! (my YouTube Channel)
NOTE: My AuthorsDen pages are better viewed on a PC 💻 than on a "smart" phone.
🧩Phys ys e cyntra codcpypopyum sithal Y ymwampab phep ettaels pu da cunaphymj arca.
Err iuo hewa pu bu ys nanulyxa pvarwa teyls uf rappals phep codcpypopa ful aesh uphal,
emd pha fesp phep c emb s ep pha amb uf e vulb ela mup codcpypopab. Pha erpalmepymj
rappals vala shucam pu neqa nucp sithalab pazp tlumuomsaedra, cu phep yp ettaels pu da
em omybampyfyedra fulayjm remjoeja ymcpaeb uf e cyntra sithal. (Y jup pha ybae uf pha
omybampyfyedra fulayjm remjoeja flun Tua's "Pha Nolbals ym pha Loa Nuljoa".)
FINITO (finalmente)
Eventually there comes a time to put down the pen. 🦢
(The only part of this website I plan to continue updating is the "Currently reading"
section at the bottom of the commentary for my article "Poetry".)
But you can find more recent things I've posted in my YouTube Community.
The end of my story is there. (Roger won, but Bozo's not gone.)
▶ If you are looking for my YouTube Community,
YouTube has renamed their "Community" tab to "Posts".
(You can post Comments in my YouTube Community. Let me know if you've
discovered how to read my hidden messages or translate my cryptic language.)
Yes, the strange story that I spent so much time telling here in my AuthorsDen website
is finally finished. It was mostly about Inner Conflict (Id vs. Ego, Love vs. Desire) and the
difficulty of dealing with Desire and Nostalgia. There is a lot of dark stuff in it that might
upset people. Things that people may find hard to understand or accept. But, other than
the part about our country being destroyed by a fascist regime, my story has a happy
ending. This is because I eventually truly realized what I had previously only recognized:
That Love is the one dream that matters. Love is more important than Desire. 🧙♂️
It is important to note that in the end, in order to find happiness,
it was my own attitudes, my own priorities, that I had to change.
I am that beggar with the wooden crutch.
I say, "You must not ask for so much."
A path to apatheia: Accept things as they are.
Realize "Love is the one dream that matters."
🧙♂️ L'Homme Solitaire
Η επιδίωξη της απάθεια:
Accipere res ut sunt. 🧙♂️
L'amour est le seul rêve qui compte.
One Dream That Matters
There is one dream that matters,
only one meaningful thing,
one hope that I live for,
one desire that I need.
Because of you,
my life is worth living.
Because of you,
my heart knows of joy.
You show me that love is true.
The best part of being is being with you.
Mark Sebring (2012)
My Philosophy (Article) - 10/21/2018 11:59:46 PM
I am an autodidact (a self-taught person). I'm a free thinker and I fancy myself a philosopher, but I must confess that I'm strictly a layman with little formal education, who hasn't made an extensive study of anything. I am relatively intelligent and I do read a lot, a bit from here and a bit from there, from many different sources (sources that support and sources that challenge my beliefs), and I think a lot about the things I read and the behavior I observe, trying to make sense of it all. It's quite possible though that my conclusions are incorrect. Because I recognize the possibility that my beliefs are in error I am constantly reevaluating them, and they evolve over time.
I wish I'd done a better job of explaining Freudian Stoicism, and the difference between the artificial morality of religion (dogmatic, deontologist, reliant on the superego) and the true morality which is discerned by a mature ego that has obtained wisdom (the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil). But at this point, I doubt I'll ever get around to trying again.
A Clarification (Regarding our Primary Instincts)
Sigmund Freud concluded that we have two primary instincts:
1. The Life Instinct (which he referred to as "Eros")
2. The Death Instinct (which his followers named "Thanatos")
Buddhists teach that we have three primary cravings:
1. Craving for Pleasure (Kāma-taṇhā)
2. Craving for Existence (Bhava-taṇhā)
3. Craving for Non-existence (Vibhava-taṇhā)
I now believe that they are both wrong, and that Emily Dickinson
got it right in her poem: "The Heart Asks Pleasure First".
I believe that we have two primary instincts/desires
that are sometimes in conflict:
1. The Desire to Experience Pleasure.
2. The Desire to Avoid Pain and Suffering.
And that the Desires for Life and Death are secondary
instincts that are results of our primary instincts.
1. The desire to live is an integral part of the desire to
experience pleasure, because we cannot experience
pleasure unless we are alive.
2. The desire to die is a conditional result of the desire
to avoid pain and suffering. We desire death when we
believe that it is the only way to escape from pain.
Desire to Avoid Pain + Despair = Desire to Die
The heart asks pleasure first,
And then, excuse from pain;
And then, those little anodynes
That deaden suffering,
And then, to go to sleep;
And then, if it should be
The will of its Inquisitor,
The liberty to die.
Emily Dickinson
Patterning myself after Freud, I have gotten into the habit
of referring to my "Desire for Pleasure" as "Eros", and my
"Desire to Avoid Pain and Suffering" as "Thanatos".
Why do I sometimes refer to "Lethe"?
Lethe was one of the rivers of Hades, where Thanatos resided.
I sometimes use "Waters of Lethe" to represent "those little
anodynes that deaden suffering" instead of death itself.
Never Never Land (Article) - 10/21/2018 7:57:59 AM
"Once a person has chosen a creed, their desire to believe that their choice was a good one often becomes stronger than their desire to discover what is actually true." Is one shining example of the wisdom in this short, philosophical piece.
Throughout history the truth has been suppressed by powerful entities that use fear and intimidation to maintain control of this mass of people whose ability to discern truth is more like simply accepting and then following the status quo of their existence. Why so many great advances have been shirked or delayed because they lacked sanction by the powers to be. The danger in this followership was easily illustrated during World War II in Germany and in Japan where followership became fanatic and willing to do anything, even the most hideous acts, for their creed.
Ron
Never Never Land (Article) - 10/20/2018 4:03:39 PM
The Mortal Storm:
I dreamed I was in Germany in the 1930s.
And all of my family members were Nazis.
And I was the only one of them who recognized how evil Hitler was.
And when I awoke, I realized that it was not a dream.
For a long time after my conversion to atheism I still had a lot of respect for Christianity.
But within the last several years my respect for it has been greatly diminished, primarily as
a result of the hypocrisy, dishonesty, and lack of discernment which is evident in the things
which are constantly being posted on Facebook by people who call themselves Christians.
(One of the reasons I'm no longer on Facebook is I'm disgusted by things I see posted by
Christian friends and family members.)
These are the things that have bothered me the most:
1. Christians I see claiming that America was intended to be a Christian nation, and that
Freedom of Religion is a myth or was only intended to be for Christians. (There was a time
when most Christians I knew believed in Freedom of Religion. That was an important part
of the Baptist heritage passed down from Roger Williams.)
2. Christians who oppose equal rights for homosexuals. I am a firm believer in equal rights
and religious freedom, and totally opposed to theonomy (the idea that civil law should be
based on religious law).
3. Christians who distort what the Black Lives Matter movement is about, who assume that
all protesters are rioters, and who use the rioting as an excuse to ignore or deny the very real
problem which led to the protests. True Christians stand up for people who are oppressed.
4. Christians who have come to view conservatism and capitalism as necessary components
of Christianity. Many are incapable of differentiating between economic systems and systems
of government, and have been convinced that "liberal", "radical", "socialist", and "communist"
are just dirty words that mean pretty much the same thing. Notice how they label anyone who
believes in any amount of socialism as a "communist" or "Marxist".
5. The so-called Christians who worship president Donald Trump, who either ignore or condone
his immoral behavior, who are fooled by his false claims, and who summarily dismiss anything
said against him as liberal lies. This one disturbs me the most because many of my family
members fall into this category. I am very sad to see how brainwashed they've become.
Here is an excerpt from an article from Christianity Today:
"To the many evangelicals who continue to support Mr. Trump in spite of his
blackened moral record, we might say this: Remember who you are and whom
you serve. Consider how your justification of Mr. Trump influences your
witness to your Lord and Savior. Consider what an unbelieving world will say
if you continue to brush off Mr. Trump’s immoral words and behavior in the
cause of political expediency. If we don’t reverse course now, will anyone
take anything we say about justice and righteousness with any seriousness
for decades to come?"
I am a non-believer myself, and I'm telling you how it has affected my respect for Christianity.
And I have very little against the teachings that have been ascribed to Jesus.
It's the words and deeds of people who claim to be Christians that bother me.
"God's name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you." - Romans 2:24
Some of the things I've written here, especially about my family members, may seem a bit harsh.
But I believe that this is one of the darkest times in American history. I'm afraid that Donald
Trump might be our first president to refuse to leave office after clearly losing an election.
(America has always prided itself on its peaceful transitions when a new president is elected.)
And yet my family members continue to support him, and despite all evidence to the contrary,
they are still fooled by his ridiculous lies. I am concerned that even if he should attempt a
military coup, even if the seeds of discord he's sown should lead to a second American civil
war, those family members would still steadfastly support him, convinced that his cause was
just and they were following God's will. I FEEL SO ASHAMED!
Donald Trump, a man with no honor or integrity, a totally self-absorbed hypocrite and con-man,
the hero and perfect representative of modern American Christians. (Matthew 24:10-11, 7:15-17)
"These people want the kind of prophet who is a windbag and a liar,
promising plenty of wine and beer." (whatever it is they wish to hear)
Micah 2:11
One last comment about Christianity:
As I mentioned before, I have very little against the Biblical Jesus. His teachings are the best part of
the Bible. But most people who call themselves Christian (Christ-like) today are NOTHING LIKE HIM.
To me, they seem much more like the New Testament Pharisees (the Conservatives of their day)
who were constantly in conflict with Jesus. And they expose modern Christianity for what it is: a sham,
a brainwashing cult that appeals to stupid, smug, selfish people who believe they have a God given
right and responsibility to force others to accept their values. They claim that they stand for freedom,
but the only freedom they really believe in is the freedom to be like them. (MAGA = CHRINO.)
If people who call themselves Christians actually followed the teachings of Christ instead
of their earthly leaders, this would be a much better world. The fact that they don't, and
their behavior which is a natural result, is possibly the most effective argument in support
of the common conclusion that the God they believe in doesn't really exist.
"The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians,
who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle."
Brennan Manning
O Karma, Dharma, pudding and pie,
gimme a break before I die:
grant me wisdom, will, & wit,
purity, probity, pluck, & grit.
Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, kind,
gimme great abs & a steel-trap mind,
and forgive, Ye Gods, some humble advice -
these little blessings would suffice
to beget an earthly paradise:
make the bad people good -
and the good people nice;
and before our world goes over the brink,
teach the believers how to think.
Philip Appleman
I began this commentary with something that implied that Donald Trump is
similar to Adolph Hitler, and that the MAGA cult is similar to the Nazi cult.
Here are excerpts from two Facebook posts written by a friend of mine
that explain the similarities between the two:
Yes, It Is Appropriate to Compare Trump to Hitler
by Tom Owen Meinen, Omaha Nebraska
I used to respect Elon Musk. He's been highly successful, and his Tesla cars are really good, IMO.
That's all well and good, but I don't respect anyone who does a Nazi salute. I won't be gaslit into
thinking that salute was anything other than what it was. When I first saw the still image of it, I
thought that maybe he was just waving to the crowd, but that was not the case. In the video, it's
obvious he was performing a Nazi salute, and he did it twice.
In typically despicable MAGA gaslighting and dishonesty, the far-right extremists have tried to
obfuscate the issue by publishing photos of Democrats such as Kamala Harris holding a hand up,
appearing to be that same salute. However, they actually were just waving.
Here's how to tell the difference: Watch the videos. In any of the videos, you can easily tell if
the person was just waving or if they were doing the NSDAP salute. Musk was doing the NSDAP
salute; the others weren't. If Donald Trump had any semblance of human decency, he would
condemn what Musk did and sever all association with him. But he's not doing that. That tells
the world that Trump approves of that. Germans all over the world pointed out that if he had
done that in Germany, he would have been promptly arrested. It's illegal in Germany to do
Nazi salutes or to display any Nazi emblems, other than doing so to for historical performance.
I've spent my whole adult life studying Nazi Germany. At a young age, I wanted to know why
millions of people would support a despot like Adolf Hitler. I majored in German in college.
I learned to speak the language fluently, and was an exchange student in Germany.
I interviewed people who lived through that era, including one dear friend who had been
a victim at the Buchenwald concentration camp.
There's a belief out there that no one should ever be compared to Hitler. That's Godwin's Law,
which was created because of people inappropriately comparing people to Hitler, for example,
when Hank Williams, Jr. compared Obama to him. However, the fact that inappropriate
comparisons to Hitler do exist does not mean that there's no such thing as an appropriate
comparison. For example, it's totally appropriate to compare Benito Mussolini to Hitler.
Mussolini's fascist party in Italy is what Hitler modeled his party after. Other ruthless
dictators such as Idi Amin also warrant the comparison.
There will never be another person who's identical to Hitler in every way. No mad scientist is
going to clone Hitler and program him with NSDAP ideology. That sounds like a plot to a B
science fiction movie. However, comparisons to Hitler are valid and appropriate if a politician
reuses Hitler-style dirty tricks. Those are all red flags, and Donald Trump has more red flags
than an NSDAP military parade. I see those warning signs over and over, and am frustrated
that so many Americans ignore them and are easily manipulated by MAGA criminals into
thinking they're something other than they actually are. These are but a few of Trump's
recycling of NSDAP rotten tricks.
1. The use of scapegoating.
Hitler scapegoated the Jews, the Roma People, homosexuals, communists, and others long
before his party set up concentration camps. Trump employs similar scapegoating, fostering
an "us versus them" attitude. He blamed the country's problems on immigrants, Muslims,
Mexicans, liberals, and others. I hope Trump never sets up any concentration camps, and I
actually think it's unlikely he'll set out to mass murder Jewish people. However, scapegoating
was already a dirty trick when Hitler did it prior to creating the concentration camps. The
camps, of course, made matters much worse, but the scapegoating itself was already bad.
It was a way to manipulate the public into supporting a despot.
2. The use of the "everyone else is lying" trope.
Hitler knew he could not have people finding out genuine news stories and thinking for
themselves. His propaganda team therefore set up the narrative that the press was so corrupt
that they could never be trusted, but that the Nazi newspapers, radio shows, news reels,
and even TV shows were simply independent sources that could be trusted. (Yes, there
was television in Nazi Germany; it just wasn't anywhere near as widespread as radio and
newspapers.) Hitler referred to all non-Nazi news sources as the "Lügenpresse" (the "lying
press".) Trump does the same thing, except the term he uses is "fake news." I would challenge
any MAGA person to go off of right-wing propaganda media for a month and instead consume
news from a multitude of sources, especially foreign ones like Al Jazeera and the BBC.
3. Use of the "we're the world's greatest" trope.
While the United States has had many impressive successes such as the Apollo moon program,
creating networking technology, winning World War II as part of an alliance of nations, the
main notion we've all been fed most of our lives is that we're the "greatest country in the world."
In reality, there's no such thing. It's not a reasonable goal for a country to be the best at
everything. Stats show that we're far from the best in multiple areas. Yet, as Americans refuse
to let go of that myth, it blinds us.
What most Americans don't realize is that Hitler used a similar trope. He claimed that they
were rebuilding their country from ruins after WW1 and into the greatest empire the world
had ever seen. He claimed that Germans were inherently superior to everyone else, both
genetically and culturally. The truth is, we don't need to be seen as the best at everything.
No one should expect to be. The world's greatest distance runner cannot also be the world's
greatest sprinter, swimmer, bicyclist, etc. A more sane approach is to focus on excelling in
areas where we can, and to do so without claiming to be the world's greatest. Just work to
perform well, and let that speak for us. We only look arrogant when we make the obviously
untrue claim of being the best at everything. This "we're the greatest" nonsense only blinds
us of the areas where we desperately need to improve, and it makes us look foolish and
arrogant to the rest of the world. However, worst of all, filling ourselves up with false pride
kills our ability to solve our problems and to improve where we need to. A much healthier
trope is, "America is working hard to be the best we can be."
4. Emotionally driven pep rallies.
I wish everyone reading this would watch the Nazi propaganda film, "Triumph of the Will"
and then compare it to Trump rallies. The film covers the Nazi pep rally in Nuremberg in
1934. In it, there is nothing to the effect of, "Let's build concentration camps and commit
genocide" or "Let's start a world war." No, the Nazis were smarter propagandists than that.
In the film, they made it look like good and hard-working Germans were all working together
to make their country great again. (Sound familiar?) If someone somehow knew nothing about
Nazism and saw this film, they might think it's just a bunch of motivated people working to
make their country better. There was a lot of pomp and symbolism designed to make people
feel good and to have a positive view of the Nazi Party. It's chilling to see how well they did
feel-good propaganda when we know the terrible things they went on to do.
Trump is talented at riling people up and at appealing to their national pride. That was a
talent Hitler also had.
5. Exploiting people's wounded national pride.
Hitler exploited Germans' wounded national pride. Trump does the same. Hitler was an expert
at exploiting people's pain over Germany having lost World War I, and at having to adhere to a
humiliating peace treaty. He also exploited people's economic frustration. The whole world was
in a depression at the time, and Germans had to suffer that depression in addition to wounded
national pride. He was a great public speaker, and he used that ability to convince Germans that
every other organization was corrupt, and that only he could fix their problems. Trump is doing
the same thing. The pandemic and the War in Ukraine caused a worldwide economic crisis with
frustrating inflation that has made it harder to afford groceries. When people get upset over their
grocery bill, it's hard for them to analyze and understand the nuanced reasons why prices went
up so much. It's always easier to simply blame a group of people than to study complex issues
to learn how we might deal with them.
6. Violent reprisal against political opponents.
This is one area in which there's a significant difference between Trump and Hitler, at least
currently. Hitler was determined for his political party to be the only one with any power in
Germany. To do so, he had his political opponents arrested and locked up. In some cases, he
had them murdered. While Trump hasn't done this yet, he has threatened to do so. I take him
at his word. He says he'll lock up people who have opposed him, and I believe him. If that turns
out to be a bluff, it will be a welcome surprise. Nevertheless, it's disturbing that he would make
such a threat.
7. The use of a coup d'état.
This is one of the most disturbing similarities. Hitler originally attempted to seize power via
force. He did so in the Beer Hall Putsch of 1923. He was attempting to duplicate Mussolini's
successful coup in Italy, but he failed. He was even sent to prison for his crime. Unfortunately,
after he got out, he was able to successfully take power legally (without actually being elected
himself).
The January 6, 2021 attacks on the Capitol were Trump's coup d'état. The MAGA crowd
has attempted to gaslight us into believing they were just an unruly mob, or even peaceful
protestors, but that's not true. January 6th was the date when Vice President Pence was
obligated under the Constitution to certify the electoral votes that secured Biden's win.
Trump's ugly little plan was to prevent Pence from doing so and instead to insert fake
electors whom Trump had put together, thus resulting in a Trump win without his having
actually earned those electoral votes. Fortunately, Vice President Pence put his duty to
uphold the Constitution over any imagined duty to do Trump's dirty work. That's why the
crowd erected a gallows to use to murder Mike Pence. They literally were shouting "Hang
Mike Pence," and that's exactly what they intended to do if Pence didn't bow to Trump's will.
Fortunately, his coup d'état failed, but now he has 4 years to prepare another one. Trump also
prepared over 60 lawsuits that he used to try to manipulate the courts into giving him the
electoral votes he needed to win in 2020, but had not earned. Fortunately, he was laughed
out of court all 60 times. There was no evidence of any election "steal" by Joe Biden.
8. Unjust use of emergency powers.
When Hitler was appointed Chancellor of Germany in 1933, he still wasn't a dictator. Not yet.
At the time, he shared power with President Hindenburg and the Reichstag (the parliament).
However, after someone burned down the Reichstag, Hitler used the public's panic to justify
having the Reichstag pass the Enabling Act, which granted emergency powers to Hitler. He
was given the power to create laws unilaterally. Then, after President Hindenburg's death,
Hitler simply eliminated his position and assumed his powers.
Trump has only just begun his second term, but he's already talked about emergency powers.
He's claimed he needs them to deal with an economic crisis. He's said that he needs to be able
to quickly enact his tariffs to save the economy. First, while there are economic problems that
the pandemic and the Ukraine War caused, inflation has gone down (though prices have not
reverted to their previous state). The current economic problems are not anywhere near as
severe as the Great Depression was. Even if they somehow were, tariffs would be a terrible
method to deal with them, as they would cause more inflation. Congress could, of course,
refuse to give him those powers, but they proved mostly spineless against Trump in his
first term. It seems unlikely that they'll grow a spine now.
This does touch on something the average person can do to thwart Trump's power grab.
You can write to your Congressperson to tell them you don't want Trump to get emergency
powers, and that laws Trump wants should have to be passed by Congress, as is normal
constitutional procedure, before Trump can sign them into law.
It's ironic that the party called the "Republican" is busy destroying our republic. Never forget
that Trump's run for President was illegal under the 14th Amendment. That law prohibits any
insurrectionist from holding any political office. The MAGA extremist cult has attempted to
gaslight the country into thinking the raid on the US Capitol was just a protest, but it was not
that. It was an insurrection. It was an attempt to force the Vice President to be derelict in his
duty to certify the electoral votes of the election that Biden won, and they threatened his life
if he didn't. That's a coup d'état, just like Hitler's Beer Hall Putsch was. And it absolutely IS
appropriate to compare Trump to Hitler for that reason alone. They were both insurrectionists.
They were both pariahs fighting against a democratic republic. I wrote of the many other
reasons why Trump is similar to Hitler in my other post.
Some people are angry at me for telling the truth about Trump, and to them I say: That's your
problem, not mine. Cult members hate people for telling the truth. That was true of the Nazi
cult, and it's true of the MAGA cult. I will continue to be honest, and my honest assessment of
Trump is that he's an evil and despicable human being. If we had justice in the United States,
he would be sitting in a prison cell. Germany actually did send Hitler to prison. Their mistake
was in not leaving him there long enough. He was only there for about 9 months (of his five-
year sentence). He should have been sent there for about 15 to 20 years. That could have
prevented the Holocaust.
The truth about Trump is that he's an illegal president, and a despicable convicted felon who
sexually assaulted a woman and attempted to bribe a foreign leader. To call him an unfit leader
is a gross understatement.
This is my page, and so I set the rules.
1. No personal attacks. If anyone does that, I'll simply delete their response and block them.
2. No responses that include references to the Nazi era by anyone who hasn't done the required
reading. Too many Americans get their information from nonsense sources like Fox News.
Anyone wishing to respond must have read the following two books:
#1 Adolf Hitler by John Toland.
#2 The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich by William L. Shirer.
It's impossible to have a productive intellectual discussion without genuine facts. These two
works are well-respected authorities on Nazi Germany. Fox News, Newsmax, and right-wing
pundits are not. Those nonsense sources have propagated the ridiculous claims that the Nazis
attempted to confiscate its citizen's guns and that Nazism was a type of socialism. Claims like
that are long-debunked nonsense that have no place here. Regurgitate the same nonsensical
talking points and I'll simply delete it.
Someone who wants to accurately understand history should want to read genuine historical
accounts instead of parroting crackpot web sites or entertainment masquerading as news
(Fox and Newsmax). The bottom line is this: If you haven't read both John Toland's and
William L. Shirer's historical accounts, you have no business commenting on Nazism.
I will delete any such response that isn't backed up by a trustworthy source on history.
I'm about delving deeply into history, not about one side making unsubstantiated claims
only followed by the other side doing the same. No one has to take my word for anything.
Everything I've said about Nazi Germany is backed up by Toland and Shirer's works.
🧙🏻 Additional discussion of these subjects may be found in the commentaries
for my articles "My Religious Position" and "Religion and Politics",
and my poem "Buscadors de el Tesoro Escondido".
Nazi propaganda sign from the 1940s:
"He who serves Adolf Hitler, serves Germany.
' He who serves Germany, serves God."
Donald Trump quoting Napoleon:
"He who saves his Country does not violate any Law."
Slogan I saw on a MAGA baseball cap:
"God, Guns & Trump"
"Sometimes I feel like I can't even sing.
I'm very scared for this world. I'm very scared for me."
R.E.M. (You Are The Everything)
🌎 MUNDUS SINE CAESARIBUS 👑
An Atheist Perspective (Poetry) - 10/8/2025 12:37:04 PM
I agree fully with your perspective. Christianity and money have tied a knot that blinds most so-called God-fearing people to causes like MAGA that not only tear down the principles set down for this country in the Constitution but are alien to Jesus and his teachings.
There are two AD members that I know who practice Christianity the way Jesus would want it practiced. You can find out who they are by contacting me privately.
Ron
An Atheist Perspective (Poetry) - 10/7/2025 11:01:09 PM
It is startling for us in the rest of the world to see what has become of your once great country. It’s good to see so many protesting against it. But we hope to see peaceful protests like this you have written here. Anything else will be used to cease control.
An Atheist Perspective (Poetry) - 10/7/2025 3:21:21 PM
Who I am:
I am an agnostic atheist and secular humanist who strongly supports freedom of religion.
I also believe that one can follow teachings attributed to the Biblical Jesus without being religious,
and that many who claim to be Christian don't actually follow His teachings.
Because of MAGA cultists, I have lost most of my remaining respect for Christianity.
Most atheists I know are more Christ-like than most of the Christians I encounter.
Dishonesty and brutality are the new Christian virtues. Jesus would be appalled.
I believe in the principles of government outlined in the American Declaration of Independence.
Like Thomas Jefferson, I believe that we should have the right to do anything which does not
cause harm to others or take away their rights.
I served my country as a member of the U.S. Army from 1975 to 1978.
My father (a Korean War veteran) and my brother also served.
I don't belong to any political party and I'm not impressed with either of our two major parties.
I was a Republican long ago, but I have since become an anti-Republican who is willing to vote
for Democrats to keep Republicans out of office. (I voted Libertarian in a couple of elections.)
Choosing between the two usually seems to me like choosing between evil and mediocrity.
I believe in peaceful protest and passive resistance.
No violence. No vandalism. No violation of the law.
"When Fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross."
(unknown source, attributed to Sinclair Lewis)
I am planning to participate in the "No Kings 2.0" protests on October 18th,
but I've been feeling pretty pessimistic lately.
Since Donald Trump's return to power I have become more and more depressed.
It appears to me that evil has won. The America I knew and loved is gone.
The self-righteous simpletons who believe the lies are so numerous, so obtuse, and so ruthless.
I doubt that we shall ever recover from the dumbing down of America.
The purpose of my poem is to point out the hypocrisy of MAGA cultists who claim to be Christian.
It is my fervent hope that some of them might still have a shred of decency in them,
and that this poem might serve to wake them up.
It was inspired by the realization that my so-called Christian siblings are a lost cause,
and by a recent horrific event that occurred in Chicago.
I have no problem with people I consider to be True Christians,
people who are actually Christ-like and care about what happens to other people.
In fact, I find it refreshing when I happen to come across one.
I disagree with what they believe, but I respect their decency.
One cannot be truly Christ-like without being decent.
Matthew 25:40
Point five percent. Not even one percent
who didn't match the pink or blue of their nursery.
That M or that F tied to their wrist
when the world first told them who they had to be.
Matthew 25:40:
What have you done to the least of these?
Point five percent. Not even one percent.
What you did you have done to me.
Don't believe someone else who says they're your savior.
Don't believe anyone who says to hate your neighbor.
Love God. Love others as yourself.
Love covers over a multitude of evil,
and without love, we are nothing else.
So defend the weak and the fatherless.
The Lord looks at the heart and not the stature of a king.
Uphold the cause of the poor and oppressed.
God does not see as man sees.
Matthew 25:40:
I was a black man in prison and you did not visit me.
You multiplied white by 5.5 times.
What you did you have done to me.
Don't believe someone else who says they're your savior.
Don't believe anyone who says to hate your neighbor.
Love God. Love others as yourself.
Love covers over a multitude of evil,
and without love, we are nothing else.
Peter followed, but at a safe distance.
Three times did the rooster sing.
I was exposed. I was locked up. I was a stranger.
How many times? How soon will you deny me?
Maria took her son and rolled the dice to find asylum,
following an angel across the desert in a bus.
Left Honduras and her birthplace, with a toddler and a suitcase,
wrapped him in a tin foil manger in a prison built by us.
Matthew 25:40:
I was a migrant and you did not welcome me.
No room at the inn. No safety from the bad men.
What you did you have done to me.
Don't believe someone else who says they're your savior.
Don't believe anyone who says to hate your neighbor.
Love God. Love others as yourself.
Love covers over a multitude of evil,
and without love, we are nothing else.
Without love, we are nothing.
Without love.
Grace Pettis (2025)
Is your child a Far Left Extremist?
Look for these warning signs:
1. Expresses sympathy for poor and working people.
2. Expresses concern over the treatment of marginalized groups.
3. Expresses concerns with fascism and the current political climate.
4. Accepting of all sexualities, religions, genders, races, etc.
5. Wishes for a world where all people are treated equally.
6. Takes an interest in history and philosophy.
7. Talks about solving various injustices in society.
No Kings 2.0
We LOVE America!
We HATE Fascism!
Let's all protest while we still can.
We may not be able to do it again.
Our Führer has declared war
on those who disagree.
The end is coming for you and me.
This world is filled with LYING WOLVES and FOOLISH SHEEP.
According to the Speaker of our House of Representatives, Mike Johnson,
and White House press secretary, Karoline Leavitt, because I choose to
protest a fascist regime's unlawfulness and abuse of power:
"I HATE AMERICA, I am a Marxist, and I am pro-Hamas!"
The truth is I am an American citizen who loves his country, served it as
a member of its armed forces, and strongly supports the principles it was
founded upon, including: Equal Rights for Everyone, Freedom of Speech,
Freedom of Religion, Freedom of The Press, Freedom of Assembly, and
Due Process of Law, all of which are currently under attack.
Hell, I'm not even a Democrat, let alone a Marxist!
It makes me very angry that people in positions of trust like Mr. Johnson
and Ms. Leavitt can get away with telling such despicable lies.
And it makes me very sad that many Americans like my own siblings are
so stupid that they believe them.
The people who participate in the "No Kings" protests will include:
Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians, Independents, Socialists,
Christians and non-Christians, people of many different races who are
frustrated and angry because of the horrible things that are happening.
We disagree on many things, but we all agree on these things:
We hate Authoritarianism, and we hate what our current corrupt
administration is doing to America.
I believe that one reason that many Americans like my foolish siblings
are not upset about the horrible things happening in America right now,
is they are simply not aware that they are happening. This is because
Donald Trump, following Adolf Hitler's playbook, has convinced his minions
that everything the mainstream news sources say is "fake news". (Hitler
referred to all non-Nazi news sources as the "Lügenpresse"/"lying press".)
And so they only believe what their Religious Right, Christian Nationalist
leaders and news sources tell them is true.
I think it is also important to understand why president Trump and his staff
keep telling one obvious lie after another, despite the fact that most people
easily recognize that they are lies. They do this for the sake of the people
who believe what they say, to maintain their base by continuing to fool
those who are already fooled. If they can keep the base that keeps them
in power, it doesn't matter to them if everyone else sees through their lies.
While He's stickin' a knife in their backs,
He's tellin' 'em that the Democrats are doin' it,
and they believe Him.
As you may have already figured out,
one of the things that bothers me the most
is that some of my own siblings
are among those fooled by this anti-Christ
and our current fascist regime.
The Mortal Storm:
I dreamed I was in Germany in the 1930s.
And all of my family members were Nazis.
And I was the only one of them who recognized how evil Hitler was.
And when I awoke, I realized that it was not a dream.
(The beginning of my commentary for "Never Never Land", 2018)
A woman was murdered in Minneapolis today by our Gestapo.
Our Führer is trying to gaslight people into believing that
she was shot in self defense.
Welcome to Nazi America.
I am so angry right now.
Both about the cold blooded murder of an innocent woman,
and about the way our government officials are trying to
twist it into something totally different from what it was.
They are the ones with the guns killing people
and they claim that the people they are killing
are the terrorists.
We have concentration camps in America now
where people are starved and brutally treated,
young girls raped by guards, others murdered,
and people who claim to be Christian
look the other way so that they won't know,
like the priest and the Levite
who walked on the other side of the road.
Our country is so much worse right now
than I ever believed could be possible.
And If you are OK with this kind of thing,
Then I am not OK with you.
This Patriot Hates Fascists!
For the most part, I am a Stoic.
(Vita pergit. Accipere res ut sunt.)
But I do not tolerate fascists,
nor those who are so ignorant
that they support fascism
without realizing it.
I have three so-called Christian siblings
who have been brainwashed by the MAGA cult.
It bothers me a lot.
I posted this in my commentary for my "Never Never Land" article
in late 2020, after the election but before the insurrection:
"I'm afraid that Donald Trump might be our first president
to refuse to leave office after clearly losing an election.
(America has always prided itself on its peaceful transitions
when a new president is elected.) And yet my family members
continue to support him, and despite all evidence to the
contrary, they are still fooled by his ridiculous lies.
I am concerned that even if he should attempt a military coup,
even if the seeds of discord he's sown should lead to a second
American civil war, those family members would still steadfastly
support him, convinced that his cause was just and they were
following God's will. I FEEL SO ASHAMED!"
🌎 MUNDUS SINE CAESARIBUS 👑
The Further Adventures Of Bozo The Magic Weasel (Poetry) - 1/30/2025 6:10:52 PM
Hey Darlin',
It's just me, your husband. I know you're prolly busy
doin' somethin' with your friends or someone else
so you prolly won't have time to read this.
But I thought I'd send it to you, just to let you know:
1. I love you very much.
2. I'm leavin' you for someone else.
3. I've decided to shoot myself.
If you ever get around to readin' it, you can choose
whichever one o' those you like best.
Of course number two don't really make much sense.
You know nobody else 'd want me any more 'n you do.
I prolly shoulda just said, "I'm leavin' and I'm never comin' back",
'cause that's what I really decided to do.
Though I ain't got a clue 'bout where I'm goin'.
Maybe I'll end up in some cheap motel room in Southern Utah,
with a bottle of Jack Daniels and a dead cockroach on the floor.
And maybe this'll be my last night on Earth. Maybe.
Anyway, Sweetheart, I hope this message finds you well.
By the way, Sweetheart, I left my cell phone on the dresser,
so there ain't no use in callin' it.
Categorical Syllogisms (Poetry) - 7/30/2024 12:39:53 PM
Very intellectual but not very sweet. A sure way to drive women away.
Ron
Absence Of Hope (Poetry) - 1/29/2024 10:30:58 AM
Death of a Butterfly (Death of a Cockroach?)
Several years ago I created a playlist called "L'Homme Solitaire" (The Story of The Solitary Man)
and started displaying it on my YouTube channel. I sometimes watch it myself in the middle of the night
while I'm downstairs drinking to achieve apathy, but as far as I know, no one else has ever watched it.
Not long ago, I started telling people about how I had transformed my AuthorsDen website from a simple
collection of songs and poems into a non-linear book that tells the story of my life, and that I had created
certain puzzles and quests that lead to my final poems at the end of my story. But, no matter how hard I
tried to persuade them, I couldn't convince anyone to read it. No one was interested.
Both my YouTube playlist and my AuthorsDen website tell the same story. It is the story of a lonely,
sexually frustrated man who deals with despair by turning to alcohol, and eventually commits suicide.
Basically, as I've mentioned in various places, part of the purpose of my story was to be a suicide note.
(I know no one has watched my playlist or read my story because no one has asked me about that.)
Here are some of the secrets of my puzzles and quests:
1. I first mention the quest to find my final poem in my commentary for "The Enigma Poems". I provide a
lot more explanation at the bottom of my Blog post (the starting point for my quests). I explain at the end
of my commentaries for "Swan Song" and "Things I've Written - Part 4" that both of my alter egos wrote
sequels to my "Swan Song" poem, and that the second one is hidden. My "The Collector" article explains
my non-linear book concept, and mentions that my story has a definite ending but you have to find it.
Its commentary contains clues to my quests and mentions that I wrote an alternate ending to my story.
And you can find many more clues to my puzzles and quests in my YouTube Community.⬅
If you are looking for my YouTube Community, YouTube has renamed their "Community" tab to "Posts".
2. Scattered throughout my AuthorsDen website are hidden messages. I created those hidden messages
by using white text on a white background. (I often use characters with a light text color that can barely
be seen to reveal that a hidden message is there.) To make a hidden message appear, you have to
select the text with your mouse as if you were going to copy it.🐁
3. There is a hidden section at the bottom of my "Quotations" article which is mostly about an abandoned
suicide plan from 2022. (If you don't follow my links, you won't understand a lot of what I am saying.)
4. I mention in various places that you should: "Follow the trail of les papillons (the butterflies) to find my
final poem (Bozo's Last Gasp)". My "trail of the butterflies" is a group of butterfly emojis which are links to
pages that also contain butterfly emojis. (Hidden messages are often nearby.) If you follow these butterfly
emoji links from page to page, they will eventually lead you to the end of my story and my final poems.
The reason for my trail of butterflies is that in order for you to understand the end of my story and my final
poems, you must first understand the message of each page along the way.
5. My Blog (the beginning of my quest) explains that, in order to read "Bozo's Last Gasp" once you find it,
you have to learn to read a cryptic language. That poem is written in a language I invented myself, which
is really just a simple substitution cypher. There is an explanation of how that cypher works at the end of
my commentary for "Who I Am", but that explanation is also written in my cryptic language.
6. The final butterfly of my trail may be found in the message that follows my "Absence of Hope" poem.
That poem concludes my "Butterfly" cycle which tells the story of the death of a butterfly. (The entire cycle
may be found on my "Poems About Insects" page.) That final butterfly links to the page for my short story
"Indomitus und Gelda" which is the end of my story and contains my final poems: the first parenthetically
titled "Bozo's Last Gasp" and the second, written later, entitled "Death Of A Cockroach (I Know The End)".
That final poem is about the method I ended up choosing to kill myself: slow suicide by alcohol poisoning.
The very end of my commentary for "Things I've Written - Part 4":
Both Roger and Bozo have written sequels for "Swan Song"🦢
Roger's is an affirmation.👍 Bozo's, a rebuttal.👎
Both contain lyrics sung by someone named John. *
🦢 THE END IS NEAR! (🦋 The End is Here. 💀)
* Roger's "La Vie Sans Rêves" contains lyrics from John Lennon's "God".
The last line of "Total Absence of Hope" (Bozo's Last Gasp) is from Johnny Cash's "Ring Of Fire".
Total Absence of Hope 🦋
I wish I had a lover.
I wish my lover was still mine.
I wish that she still wanted me.
(I want her so much!)
But I will never have a lover again.
Love, is a burning thing‼
🤡 Mark Sebring (Bozo's Last Gasp 💀)
Death Of A Cockroach (I Know The End)
A lonely man listening to Moondog Radio in the dark.
A glass of whiskey in his hand. Achieving apathy.
He couldn't let Bozo have the final word.
He pulled pins from grenades and lobbed them on the lawn.
They were just sitting there. They hadn't gone off yet.
But they could at any moment. BOOM!!!
He wasn't sure what he was going to tell his Dad.
I had one drink last night. My first in more than a month.
I ended up unconscious on the bathroom floor.
I didn't mean to kill myself but I think I may have.
I had finally finished "War And Peace".
Like Pierre, I had finally found Peace.
I am proof that there is no God.
ssbap 🌄
I suppose I should try to clarify something: I didn't exactly choose this method of suicide.
As I mentioned in my final poem, I haven't been deliberately trying to kill myself as much
as turning to alcohol to deal with despair (attempting to achieve apathy).
And I have been writing very candidly about my problems here, in a place where anyone
in the world can read what I write but I know no one does, in the hope that someone might
be interested in understanding me after I'm gone.
"His full story is a combination of autobiography, commentary on human nature,
and suicide note. (The note was as far as he could get.)" - Kimber Garns
"Take care when you find yourself longing for oblivion.
The Waters of Lethe are reserved for the dead."
Τα Νερά της Λήθης (The Waters of Lethe)
(The parenthetical title of my final poem, and the line: "The end is near! The end is here." are
references to the Phoebe Bridgers song "I Know The End". You can find a video for that song
in my final post in my YouTube Community, and you may find my comments, replies, and links
in that post to be informative.)
"The heart asks pleasure first, and then excuse from pain.
And then those little anodynes that deaden suffering."
Emily D.
The World Ends At Dawn (The End Is Near)
He'd pulled pins from grenades and lobbed them on the lawn.
They were just sitting there. They hadn't gone off yet.
But they could at any moment...🌄
Absence of Hope (Finale: Drinking In Earnest)
I am alone in this world.
All of my dreams are gone.
I shall never have a lover again.
Nor anyone I could call friend.
No one who accepts me for who I am.
So I drink to escape from the pain.
And if I live, I live. And if I die, I die.
Sort of like Russian Roulette.
I don't care that much either way.
If I should come to my end today
I shall accept it cheerfully like Whitman
rather than raging against the dying of the light.
I Know The End (The End Is Here)
No. I'm not afraid to disappear.
The billboard said: "The end is near!"
I turned around. There was no one there.
Yeah, I guess the end is here.
The end is here...💀🦋
Wait a minute! It's stopped hailing.
Guys are swimming. Guys are sailing.
Playing baseball. Gee, dat's bettah.
Muddah, Faddah, kindly disregard dis lettah.
This world is filled with pain and sorrow,
but joy and pleasure are present as well.
And so we know we must forfeit Heaven
if we choose to flee from Hell.
There's only one way to be free.
But I'm not ready for that yet.
(Wrestling With Thanatos 💀)
I stood on the edge of a precipice,
recognized my recurring mistake,
and turned around.
The Struggle Continues...🤡|🧙
(See "Id vs. Ego / Anagnorisis".)
Anagnorisis
There are many things that I desperately want.
There are many things that I already have.
How happy I am, at any given moment,
depends on which I'm focusing on.
Id vs. Ego
Sometimes my desperation is not so quiet.
Sometimes my desire is too strong.
The heart wants what it wants, but I know what I have.
I know I'd rather be with her.
🧙♂️ Love is the one dream that matters.
I finally had it all figured out, but I ended up dying anyway
still wishing that my love life hadn't ended so soon
but glad that I had found someone I loved so much.
I guess we all have to die sometime. Que sera sera.
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
What is called resignation is confirmed desperation."
ACCIPIO RES UT SUNT.
Η επιδίωξη της απάθεια:
Accipere res ut sunt. 🧙♂️
L'amour est le seul rêve qui compte.
The One Dream That Matters (Poetry) - 8/14/2023 5:40:14 PM
I'm re-reading Steven R Covey's " The Seven Habits of Highly Effectibe People ".
I've found it to be a good source book for leading your life with integrity and honour.
Peter
Reflections of a Hermit (Poetry) - 2/6/2023 6:54:08 AM
"The highly sensitive (introverted) tend to be philosophical or spiritual in their orientation,
rather than materialistic or hedonistic. They dislike small talk. They often describe themselves
as creative or intuitive. They dream vividly, and can often recall their dreams the next day.
They love music, nature, art, physical beauty. They feel exceptionally strong emotions -
sometimes acute bouts of joy, but also sorrow, melancholy, and fear."
Susan Cain (Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking)
Alienation (From Misfit to Hermit):
Introversion and shyness are two different things
but I am both introverted and shy.
I was born an introvert.
I am shy as a result of repeated rejection.
(Introverts tend to be misfits and outcasts.)
I became a loner to avoid further rejection.
As resignation is the acceptance of despair,
so isolation is the avoidance of rejection.
These are coping mechanisms.
"It's no good trying to get rid of your own aloneness. You've got to stick to it all your life.
Only at times, at times, the gap will be filled in. At times! But you have to wait for the times.
Accept your own aloneness and stick to it, all your life. And then accept the times when
the gap is filled in, when they come. But they've got to come. You can't force them."
D.H. Lawrence (Lady Chatterley's Lover)
La Vie Sans Rêves ⛅
God is a concept that gives people hope
when hope is more important than truth.
I repeat: God is a placebo.
I don't believe in America.
I don't believe in apathy.
I don't believe in religion.
I don't believe in conformity.
I don't believe in politics.
I don't believe in philosophy.
I don't believe in music.
I don't believe in poetry.
I don't believe in friendship.
I don't believe in family.
I just believe in me.
The one I love and me.
That's reality.
The dream is over.
Mark Sebring (With a little help from "God", 2023)
🧙🏻♂️ I have become a total recluse.
I don't reach out to people anymore
because I'm afraid of them.
The future success of everything I have created
depends entirely on serendipity now.
Swan Song (The Last of the Poet Recluse) (Poetry) - 8/27/2022 5:58:11 PM
This is very meaningful to me, moving, engaging, soul-reaching. I feel (with respect) as though it could have been I sitting on that bench and "composing" these verses/lyrics. Thank you for sharing your gift, Mark. Love, peace, and serenity,
namaste,
Regis. 🙏
Thanksgiving at Barley Street (Poetry) - 8/27/2022 4:45:27 PM
I decided to create pages for my two poems from 2021-2022 that were worth posting:
"Swan Song 🦢" b/w "Thanksgiving at Barley Street 🦃"
"Swan Song" will be my last poem, and it's mostly about giving up on my dream of being a poet.
It is followed by a somewhat humorous, somewhat harsh critique, which is intended to provide a final
explanation of my Inner Conflicts. It's rather difficult to understand though, unless you follow the links.
The poetry video at the bottom is my latest. It is called "My Quiet Place". 🦋
"Thanksgiving at Barley Street" starts out being about memories of a local bar that is now closed,
and some friends who've passed away. But the ending is about dealing with Nostalgia.
It contains LOTS of links to photos and videos from Barley Street Tavern and other Omaha venues.
The music video at the bottom is for my solo piano piece, "Never Again". 🦢
Carmen Cygni 🦢
NOTE: My AuthorsDen pages are better viewed on a PC 💻 than on a "smart" phone.
Swan Song (The Last of the Poet Recluse) (Poetry) - 8/18/2022 7:29:11 AM
WRITING A POEM THAT NO ONE WILL READ
IS EXACTLY LIKE MAKING GESTURES IN THE DARK.
This shall be my final poem. 🦢 I am done making gestures in the dark. 🔳
If you're interested in understanding it, I suggest that you follow the links.◀
🔳 "I've little or no pleasure, to speak of, in writing, no joy in weaving words into metre,
whether it's the fact I've reaped no profit from it, that makes this thing the source of my misfortunes,
or that writing a poem you can't read to anyone is exactly like making gestures in the dark."
Ovid (A Roman poet who spent much of his life in exile after offending Augustus Caesar)
"If some dreams cease to be, Life doesn't end. It doesn't die." ⛅
Gopaldas Neeraj (20th century Indian poet)
"I just believe in me. Yoko and me. And that's reality. The dream is over." ⛅
John Lennon ("God")
L'homme solitaire doit marcher seul. 🚶🏻♂️
I decided to create pages for my two poems from 2021-2022 that were worth posting:
"Swan Song 🦢" b/w "Thanksgiving at Barley Street 🦃"
"Swan Song" will be my last poem, and it's mostly about giving up on my dream of being a poet.
It is followed by a somewhat humorous, somewhat harsh critique, which is intended to provide a final
explanation of my Inner Conflicts. It's rather difficult to understand though, unless you follow the links.
The poetry video at the bottom is my latest. It is called "My Quiet Place". 🦋
"Thanksgiving at Barley Street" starts out being about memories of a local bar that is now closed,
and some friends who've passed away. But the ending is about dealing with Nostalgia.
It contains LOTS of links to photos and videos from Barley Street Tavern and other Omaha venues.
The music video at the bottom is for my solo piano piece, "Never Again". 🦢
"I suppose I wrote these two poems and tried to let the world know about them
for the sake of closure. But now I'm done pretending I have an audience."
Carmen Cygni 🦢
And here is a word from our sponsor, E. Nigma's Missing Pieces: ❓
🧩There is a key to the symbols I use: 🤡 🧙🏻♂️ 🚶🏻♂️ 🦢 😞 🦋, at the bottom of my "Who I Am" article.
🦢 And don't miss my FINAL message at the very end of my commentary for "Id vs. Ego / Anagnorisis".
🧙🏻♂️ You might as well go ahead and read the whole durn thing as long as you're there.
NOTE: My AuthorsDen pages are better viewed on a PC 💻 than on a "smart" phone.
P.S. I expected "Swan Song" to be my last but I wrote two more short poems in 2023.
"La Vie Sans Rêves" (a sequel to "Swan Song" patterned after John Lennon's "God")
is relatively easy to find, but there is a trick to finding my final❓ poem, parenthetically
titled "Bozo's Last Gasp".🤡 See my Blog for additional information.◀
(🧙: Bozo's final poem isn't that special. Not nearly as good as my imitation of John.
It is the quest, and what can be learned along the way, that matters.)
Look for clues at the end of "The Enigma Poems" 🧩, "Things I've Written - Part 4",
"The Collector", and in my YouTube Community... ⬅
(My story from AuthorsDen has sort of spilled over into my YouTube Channel.
It's in the Text and Comments of My Videos, and in my YouTube Community.)
▶ If you are looking for my YouTube Community,
YouTube has renamed their "Community" tab to "Posts".
The end of my story is there. (Roger won.)
Swan Song (The Last of the Poet Recluse) (Poetry) - 8/18/2022 2:24:15 AM
that was quite enticing, as if we are having a conversation and made me feel accompanied while watching the sun drift on the waves of the ocean. thank you for writing this piece.
Swan Song (The Last of the Poet Recluse) (Poetry) - 8/17/2022 9:45:44 AM
Nicely introspective. Especially with the added notes. But I can see there is a kind of copout at the end where you seem to have a love connection with one individual that steers you from your lonely course like mine does. That's okay, if we open the door to it, love will come in.
I watched the video and saw my favorite "weeds" that are so beneficial to birds and insects that we can't even imagine how needed they are when we indiscriminately kill them with passion for our misdirected thinking about their harm to our sacred crop yields for profit by factory farms.
Unfortunately, the music was a dirge that left me wanting to turn the damn video off! It may be my hearing loss but I think it's just a bad choice of background music for relaxing.
Ron
Afraid Of The Dark (Poetry) - 9/23/2021 9:18:39 AM
This poem owes something to the parable of the three wise monkeys
(see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil).
"Outside the street's on fire in a real death waltz
between what's flesh and what's fantasy.
And the poets down here don't write nothin' at all.
They just stand back and let it all be.
And in the quick of a knife,
they reach for their moment and try to make an honest stand.
But they wind up wounded, and not even dead
tonight in Jungleland."
Bruce Springsteen (Jungleland)
The Forest And The Lake (Poetry) - 4/26/2021 1:57:09 AM
The forest is my church. 🚶♂️
There is a bird outside my school-room window -
A little bird, I can not tell his name;
He sings a song of gladness for the future;
His little heart ne'er contemplates the rain.
To him the world is full of sunshine;
No cloud e'er flecks his sky of blue;
He sings of summer days and sunny weather
Of a little mate with loving heart and true.
Oh, could I sing with such a disposition;
See only sunshine in the days to come;
Bring pleasure to the lives I find about me,
And so plan my eternal home.
Bernice M. Phillipy (April 8, 1920)
Radiant River
Rush of water
Gliding on by
What a beautiful river
Beautiful, yet shy
Bubbles rise
To the surface no less
I giggle as they pop
With joy I'm blessed
I and the river,
The river and I
Reflecting the clouds
High in the sky
Reflect my love for the water,
My passion, my heart
A vibrant setting
That stunning work of art
By Jaya G.
Millard Public Schools
Middle School Student
Bernice (Poetry) - 4/26/2021 1:51:21 AM
Lonesome
I am lonesome, dear, yes lonesome -
If you were only here awhile!
It's so long since I last saw you,
Since I saw your tender smile.
It is dismal outside, darling,
Raining in the deepning gloom,
And it sends a shiver o'er me
As I watch the darkning room.
And I think of her grave, darling,
Out beneath the forest pine
Where we laid her in the evening;
Our sweet baby; yours and mine.
But we'll meet again, my sweetheart,
When the shadows flee away,
And you come again to greet me
From the darkness into day.
Bernice M. Phillipy (March 24, 1914)
In the Autumn
When the leaves are softly falling
In the woodlands far away,
Then for you my heart is calling,
Then with you I long to stray.
In the silent quiet evening
When the moon begins to shine,
Then I long to have you near me
Feel your treasured hand on mine.
I can see your brown eyes bending
With a look of love divine,
As you promised that old promise
Just forever to be mine.
Yes, the leaves are slowly falling,
Near and far they flutter by,
Brown and yellow, red and russet,
While the birds wing slowly by.
They are going - all are going -
Everything that to me is dear.
They are going as you went dear -
In the autumn of the year.
Bernice M. Phillipy (October 11, 1914)
Gone
Oh, for sweet oblivion tonight
To take away the ache that is not pain;
To fill my heart with hope anew and sweet;
To live there always and again.
And yet it's all a dream - a long dream -
A dream that one can only live in years;
A dream that's full of gladness, happiness; -
One never thought of broken hearts and tears.
The dream was one of love and sweet home life,
A little cottage near a lonely road;
Vines, and flowers, and bees, and soft green grass,
A meadow, and the hay and heavy load;
And so on, years and years to live it,
To love and be loved there in happiness,
And tonight it all is shattered at my feet, -
Oh, night wind, let me feel your cool caress.
Dreams, sweet dreams, - all gone
In one brief night, ne'er to return again.
They're far away, - oh throbbing heart be still,
They're gone - away - I am alone, alone.
Bernice M. Phillipy (February 22,1915)
Lost Faith
I lost the light of the morning's tint,
As the sun creeps from its rest;
I lost the quiet shades of night,
As it sinks to its home in the west;
I lost the heat of the noontide's glare;
I lost the rose's perfume rare;
I lost a star in the heavens of blue,
When I lost my faith in you.
I lost the smile my lips had framed,
To bring an answering smile;
I lost the light your love had brought
To my eyes, and after a while
I lost the peace my heart had known, -
Like a fluttering bird my rest was gone; -
I lost my soul in the tumult, too,
When I lost my faith in you.
O, God, I come to Thee for rest, -
Man proves himself far from trust, I see, -
I turn my steps to Thy Fatherly breast;
I put my trust, my all, in Thee;
Shelter me there; my sins forgive;
Let the spirit of goodness live, -
And yet I trusted thus once - Can it be?
Will I lose my faith in Thee?
Bernice M. Phillipy (October 16, 1916)
The Song of a Tired Spirit
Why try to keep up spirit in this worn-out shell
That passes through the world as flesh and bones;
There is naught in life to live for; naught to gain;
I live upon the hopes that now are past;
Hopes that were wrought of longing for that which was denied;
I love, and my love is thrown back upon the wings of fate;
Discouraged, I look into the future where work awaits me, -
Work for the needs of the body, such as meat and drink;
No love entwined around each lowly act -
Neither love for the act alone, nor anyone connected with the act;
I walk alone;
There is no one here who cares which way I go
Except for selfish purposes;
I have prayed to the God above, but 'twould seem
That even He has left His erring child;
I am tired - tired of the world and all that it holds forth;
So let me die - die as I have lived - alone;
But let that death be fraught with peace and rest;
Lay me tenderly unto the heart of mother earth
Who cares for all her children;
Press the soft turf above my head with love,
The love denied me now;
And let me rest, rest until the final judgement
When the great Father calls me forth
To answer for the sins of omission and commission
That lie upon my soul so heavily;
Speak not of shame, disgrace, or broken faith,
But let me rest in the divine sleep that knows no waking
Until God takes us unto Him!
Bernice M. Phillipy (November 20, 1919)
The Last Time (Poetry) - 4/25/2021 3:41:51 AM
For everything we do in our lives, there will one day come a Last Time. 🦢
I'm not sure why but it seems I'm more aware of Last Times than most people.
So many have come, long before I expected them. 😞
🤡: Nothing turned out quite like I expected.
I didn't expect my dreams to crash and burn the way they did.
I didn't expect to be betrayed by people I trusted.
I had hoped there might be someone who would understand me
and appreciate my artistic endeavors.
I didn't expect there would be no one who cared.
(How bright my frail deeds might have danced in a green bay.)
I had hoped to do some travelling after I retired.
I didn't expect I'd have no one to go with me.
And, most of all, I didn't expect my love life to end so soon.
I had believed it would last forever.
I think I'm ready to die now.
Sometimes I feel like I'm already dead.
I've done my best to explain my pain and disappointment here
but no one will read any of it 'til after I'm gone.
I hope someone will be interested then.
"I put flowers on Algernons grave about once a week. Mrs. Flynn thinks Im crazy
to put flowers on a mouses grave but I told her that Algernon was special."
Song For Daniel (Poetry) - 4/2/2021 9:25:42 AM
"How long has your light been blinkin'?
How long, we're left here thinkin'.
How long is now pushed to the limit.
How long to get used to the world, without you in it?"
Clarence Tilton (Oil Light)
Thanksgiving at Barley Street
I’m at Barley Street Tavern. It’s the night before Thanksgiving, two-thousand twelve.
Matt Cox has put on one of his all-star shows to raise money to feed the poor.
I love these all-star shows; singers in the round. I remember hearin’ Kyle and Cass
sing together once - thinkin’ they sounded kind of like Marty Balin and Grace Slick.
(This was before I’d stopped drinkin’ on account of my DUI.)
Of course Kyle doesn’t work at Barley Street anymore. He’s moved to Colorado.
But we’ve still got Juan, one of the nicest people to ever walk the planet.
(How many Barley Street bartenders does it take to change a light bulb? Just Juan.)
I remember him tellin’ me about Glacier Creek at Matt and Emily’s reception.
He had just started working there. I go there a lot these days. I didn’t know he’d
passed on until nearly a year afterward. That’s one drawback to bein' a hermit.
I have so many memories of Barley Street. Seen so many great shows there.
The night Travelling Mercies closed out the OEA Showcase. The whole audience
standing in front of the stage. Jeremy, slightly drunk, that wild look in his eyes,
the Travelling Preacher putting on perhaps the finest show of his life.
And me, when it was all over, walking to my car alone in the darkness,
singing to myself as I often did, “I am a man of constant sorrow”.
But right now I’m mostly thinking of that one Thanksgiving eve.
Sitting with Gary Flanagan, talking about going to see Johnny Rivers together
the next time he happened to be in the area. Unfortunately it never came to pass.
I had no way of knowing I’d never see Gary again.
And now Barley Street Tavern is closed.
Over the years I’ve learned that life goes on. We must accept things as they are.
So now, mostly, I feel a sense of Thanksgiving. I appreciate what I've had.
Naturally I feel some regret, that I’ll never experience these things again.
But at the same time I can feel thankful, that they ever happened at all.
Mark Sebring (2021)
For some time I'd been thinking I was finished as a poet, but here is my first poem of 2021.
And as I study it, I realize it was something I needed to write.
(It was necessary because I've been struggling with the detrimental side of nostalgia.)
It's a Thanksgiving story about being thankful for things we had but don't have anymore,
including people we've cared about and lost. We are often given gifts that do not last.
We must learn to appreciate that we were given them in the first place
instead of endlessly grieving over the fact that they are gone.
I still think I'm pretty much finished as a poet.
This was kind of a one-off deal.
It's time to fade into the background again.
L'Homme Solitaire... 🚶♂️
My Quiet Place (Poetry) - 3/25/2021 5:58:05 AM
Sans Rêves? ⛅
"I'm no longer convinced that
everything has a purpose.
When I sleep without dreams
I'll no longer pine for Eden."
Summer Nights (Poetry) - 3/25/2021 5:56:49 AM
"O thee who stealthily shed tears,
who waste these pearls of their eye.
If some dreams cease to be,
life doesn't end. It doesn't die."
Gopaldas Neeraj (Jeevan Nahi Mara Karta Hai)
⛅ La vie sans rêves:
"My dreams are dying, but it's all right.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily.
Life is but a dream."
The Waters of Lethe (Poetry) - 2/22/2021 5:14:52 AM
Τα Νερά της Λήθης
I've come to rely on the Waters of Lethe.
My simple substitute for intimacy.
A secret place where I can hide.
The next best thing to suicide.
"Give me the Waters of Lethe
that numb the heart, if they exist.
I will still not have the power
to forget you."
Ovid
"Sitting in the dark with a drink in his hand, killing himself slowly."
We think we want serenity, but what we really want is oblivion.
"It's a short walk from Apatheia to Apathy,
a well-worn path from Serenity to Oblivion."
Τα Νερά της Λήθης (The Waters of Lethe)
"His panacea apatheia inevitably evolves into apathy."
Carmen Cygni (Swan Song)
One of the messages of this poem is:
In times of desperation (when our power is stripped from us)
Apatheia (the serenity to accept the things we cannot change)
eventually evolves into Apathy.
"What is called resignation is confirmed desperation."
"I'll spend the day with the one I love
and care little for anything else."
Reflections of a Hermit 🧙🏻♂️
The Serpent In The Window (Poetry) - 2/22/2021 5:11:43 AM
Poor little ape, you're sick again tonight.
Has the shrill, fretful chatter fevered you?
Was it a dream-lion gave you such a fright?
And did the serpent Fear glide from the slough?
You cough, you moan, I hear your small teeth grate.
What are those words you mutter as you toss?
War, torture, guilt, revenge, crime, murder, hate?
I'll stroke your brow, poor little ape - you're cross.
Far wiser beasts under far older stars
Have had your sickness, seen their hopes denied,
Sought God, fought Fate, pounded against the bars,
And like you, little ape, they some day died.
The bough swings in the wind, the night is deep.
Look at the stars, poor little ape, and sleep.
Fritz Leiber (The Wanderer)
Parfois, Mais Jamais Plus (Poetry) - 2/21/2021 10:42:14 PM
Le cœur demande ...
The heart asks pleasure first,
And then, excuse from pain;
And then, those little anodynes
That deaden suffering,
And then, to go to sleep;
And then, if it should be
The will of its Inquisitor,
The liberty to die.
Emily Dickinson
Personne
Personne n'est venu à mon secours.
J'ai appelé à l'aide. J'ai pleuré à l'aide.
Mais personne n'est venu à mon secours.
J'ai pleuré! J'ai crié! J'ai plaidé!
Mais personne n'est venu. Personne n'a répondu.
N'ont-ils pas pu entendre ma voix?
Ne pouvaient-ils pas comprendre ma langue?
Ai-je dit ce qu'ils ne pouvaient pas entendre?
Ou ne s'en sont-ils suelement pas souciés?
Étaient-ils simplement indifférents?
J'étais vieux, donc ils s'en fichaient.
Pas une célébrité, donc ils s'en fichaient.
Personne de spécial, donc ils s'en fichaient.
J'étais Personne, et personne ne s'en souciait.
Mark Sebring (2021)
La solitude... La solitude...
Plus de désespoir que quiconque peut supporter.
S'il vous plaît, laissez-moi mourir ce soir.
Cold Day In Hell (Poetry) - 2/5/2021 4:26:46 AM
The river runs. The round world spins.
Dawn and lamplight, midnight, noon.
Sun follows day – night, stars, and moon.
The day ends. The end begins. 🦋
Rumer Godden (The River)
We all sweat beneath the same sun.
Look up in wonder at the same moon.
And weep when it is all done.
For bein' done too soon. 💀
Neil Diamond (Done Too Soon, paraphrased)
My Dad (Poetry) - 12/12/2020 4:47:35 AM
I wrote this poem in response to Harry Chapin's "Cat's In The Cradle"
and other stories about fathers who don't have much time for their families.
It explains that many fathers are like that, not by choice, but because
their employers expect it of them in a time when jobs are difficult to find.
There are some here who seem to assume that anything written in the first person
must be autobiographical. That's not such a good idea with me. I am a storyteller.
I love to write short story songs and poems from a first person perspective.
Most of these stories have a message. But a few of them are just for fun.
In some of the stories I have posted here I've been:
A man who runs away from his life and his family, but then turns around and goes home. (Driving West)
A man who has an affair with a promiscuous woman who's name he finds on a bathroom wall. (Angel 69 / Mid-Life Crisis)
A boy neglected by a father who spends all of his time working. (My Dad)
An alcoholic who's wife has left him for another man. (Alone At The Party)
A man praying to a god he doesn't believe in, who killed his wife and her lover and is planning to kill himself. (My Magic Bullet)
King Arthur lamenting about Guinevere's relationship with Lancelot. (Another Cockroach)
A homosexual who suffers at the hands of religious fanatics. (The Dark Ages)
A cowboy who is killed in a gunfight. (Tombstone)
Of course, some of my short story songs and poems are written in the third person.
"Mr. Lonely" and "Elmer Wigby" are good examples.
And some, like "Dixie Flyer", "Blue Moon Sort Of Night", and "Summer Nights",
are partially autobiographical.
Sometimes I write stories about things I am tempted to do, so I can study them
and learn a lesson, without actually having done them.
"Driving West" and "Angel 69 / Mid-Life Crisis" are examples.
Some of the things I write are autobiographical. Others are pure fiction. Many are a mixture of the two.
Throughout this website, I've deliberately made it unclear which parts are autobiographical and which
are fiction. But, by using this mixture of autobiography and fiction, I believe I've told the story of my life.
All these stories I have written. The story of my life that I have told here.
The reason they're a mixture of autobiography and fiction is they are not just about me.
They are about all of the people like me. Thousands of people who are lonely like I am.
The mass of men who lead lives of quiet desperation. I am just one example.
It was never about making the details of my own life public.
The point was to write things that others could identify with.
A friend of mine wrote this song for her father:
No Man's Land
I was raised by a fireman so I know all about accelerants
and how to keep things contained.
He went crazy in Viet Nam. He raised me on war stories.
And watching him, I learned how to kill a man.
Oh Daddy dear, you didn't ever sleep.
And it took me years to see you were always nightmarin', oh.
Even in your dreams with the shake, shake, shake of your hands.
You were always dancin' through a no man's land.
You have lived through many things that would kill me,
and you're the one who taught me how to stay alive.
And you have to know I have listened because I have lived this long, oh.
Sometimes you've gotta die a little so you can survive.
Sometimes you have to kill the things that eat you alive.
Oh Daddy dear, you didn't ever sleep.
And it took me years to see you were always nightmarin', oh.
Even in your dreams with the shake, shake, shake of your hands.
You were always dancin' through a no man's land.
You were always dancin' through a no man's land.
And I have always been real strong and can carry such heavy things,
and I think that I must get that from you.
But watchin' you fumble with a shovel that's diggin' your grave,
I'm afraid that strength might be a curse when it starts to fade.
What if strength becomes my burden Dad, one of these days?
And oh Daddy dear, you didn't ever sleep.
And it took me years to see you were always nightmarin', oh.
Even in your dreams with the shake, shake, shake of your hands.
You were always dancin' through a no man's land.
You were always dancin' through a no man's land.
You were always dancin' through a no man's land.
You were always dancin' through a no man's land!
I was raised by a fireman so I know all about accelerants
and how to keep things contained.
Cass Brostad (From the Madisons album "No Man's Land", 2017)
This Is America / Two Bottles Of Wine (Poetry) - 12/5/2020 9:41:49 AM
Two poems that clearly show the plight of matrimony in the United States where a man is expected to earn the bread and the woman is expected to raise the children and make her husband's bed. Unfortunately, the spark that makes that marriage doesn't stay lit and most marriages stagnating to drudgery for both parties. There has to be a better way, but that will take some social engineering that God-fearing people would be afraid to venture into. Too bad.
Ron
This Is America / Two Bottles Of Wine (Poetry) - 12/5/2020 3:47:42 AM
"Money can't buy back
your youth when you're old,
a friend when you're lonely,
or a love that's grown cold." 🦋
Porter Wagoner (A Satisfied Mind)
🧙🏻♂️ Roger:
These are two of the poems I had previously removed.
On the surface they are both about sexual frustration and dissatisfaction with marriage in general.
But when I examine them more closely, I find that they are more about the dissatisfaction that comes from growing older,
about feelings that only come when we look at things in retrospect and recognize what we've lost.
It's difficult to accept losing the things we enjoy.
🤡 Bozo:
Then again, maybe all of that is just goldfish poop.
I still feel the love but the pleasure is gone.
I tell myself it's the love that's most important
but there's a part of me that remains unconvinced.
The battle between the id and the ego rages on.
Il cuore vuole!
"But little do they know
that it's so hard to find
one rich man in ten
with a satisfied mind."
Porter Wagoner (A Satisfied Mind)
The Rest Of The Story:
I have transformed this page into a new art form.
It could be called an "expanded poem", a "song cycle", or a "poetry concept album",
and it's kind of like hearing a lead single and then listening to the entire album.
On the suface, this page contains two short, rather dark poems that tell a simple story.
But, you may notice that every line on the page contains a link.
If you follow all of the links in sequence, you'll find a series of poems, etc.
that expand upon the story and add a lot of detail.
You can learn a lot by asking yourself the question,
"Why does this particular line link to that particular poem?"
But beware! The full story is complex, and it contains many twists and turns.
So you might get the wrong impression if you stop reading along the way.
(Some of the things I say in my poems contradict things I say in other poems,
because they're written from a different personal or temporal perspective.)
To get it all you have to read it all, follow all of the links
(many of my poems contain links to other poems and music videos),
watch the videos, and read my commentaries in the review sections.
The best way to navigate my poetry pages:
1. Notice the photo at the top.
2. Read the poem itself.
3. Watch the video at the bottom.
4. Read my commentary in the review section.
5. Follow the links to find additional information.
🤡 Crucifiction:
(I originally wrote this for a YouTube Community post, but then deleted it because
it was too candid. I post it here knowing it is unlikely that anyone will ever read it.)
The truth is: I am not very happily married to someone I am very much in love with.
I fell in love with her when we were very young, and I have never loved anyone else.
Unfortunately, I find it impossible to talk to her; to tell her how I feel.
I have explained it all in the things I've written but she's never read any of it.
(She's one more person who has never been interested in the things I write.)
I don't believe she has an inkling of how disappointed, lonely, and miserable I've been.
She seems to think it is perfectly natural for people our age to not have a love life.
She also seems to think that I am somehow satisfied: though all of my dreams are dead,
knowing that I'll never do many of the things I had wanted to do, rarely going anywhere,
having little contact with anyone beyond our immediate family and her circle of friends
who think I'm a weirdo, having no one to talk to about how I'm feeling or things I am
interested in, and spending the end of my life sitting alone in my basement, watching
TV and waiting to die, just like her father did.
Years ago, she had relationships with a couple of men whose wives had lost interest in
them. She felt sorry for them and wanted to make it up to them. She doesn't recognize
the irony of it: the fact that I am now in the same position they were (except I don't
have an attractive younger woman who cares about me).
🧙🏻♂️ Resurrection:
And yet, though all of this is true, I love her. And I know that she loves me.
We are two imperfect human beings who love each other.
Two people, dealing with the changes that come from growing older.
Don't let Bozo fool you! (I could be talking to myself here.)
Roger was right when he suggested before that my real problem is: Growing Older.
There is a reason why the first thing you see when you select Poetry from my front
page is "The One Dream That Matters". My most important messages are there.
"The heart wants what it wants, but I know what I have. I know I'd rather be with her."
"La mejor parte de ser es estar contigo." (The best part of being is being with you.)
"L'amour est le seul rêve qui compte." (Love is the only dream that matters.)
🤡 Which one of us is truly being realistic?
And which of us is believing what we wish to be true?
🧙🏻 Which one of us sees everything through the lens of desire?
And which of us is fixated on things of the past?
🎵 Why Is The Night Sad?
"It's at night that you feel all alone,
. and the past begins to reclaim you.
. What you've lost makes itself known."
💀 Requiem:
"And here is to love.
. To all the love
. falling out of our lives.
. Hopes and dreams are gone.
. The end of every song.
. And it all stops.
. We were always sure that we would never change.
. And it all stops.
. We were always sure that we would stay the same.
. But it all stops.
. And we close our eyes to sleep.
. To dream a boy and girl
. who dream the world is nothing but a dream.
. Where did it go?
. Where did it go?"
The Cure (Alone)
A Complete Unknown
When I was a child
I wrote songs and poems.
I wanted to be John Lennon.
I wanted to be Bob Dylan.
(When I Was A Child)
Life is all about
learning to settle
for less than what we want.
(Learning To Settle)
My dreams are like pearls.
I gave up all for one of great value.
The one I could not live without.
The one I almost lost.
(Pearl Of Great Price)
He gives up all of his hopes and dreams
for an ordinary job
to support his wife and his children.
(This Is America)
But none o' my dreams e'er come true
an' there was nothin' e'er that I could do
but learn to be happy wi' what I have,
cover my tears with a cynical laugh.
(Resignation)
But no one seemed to understand.
I was just an old man.
Just another lonely old man.
(When I Was A Child)
and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear;
nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary.
(Henry David Thoreau)
How does it feel?
How does it feel?
This is a patchwork quilt, consisting of snippets from songs and poems
I've written, and a quotation from Thoreau.
I was inspired to write it after seeing the movie "A Complete Unknown".
I had tears in my eyes during most of it,
and that quotation from Thoreau came to mind.
Perhaps, late in life, I am missing roads I never got to travel.
L'Homme Solitaire
I feel like I am all alone.
And the end of America has come.
And there ain't nothin' I can do about it.
Apathy seems to be the only answer.
But it's so hard for me to be apathetic.
"Sometimes I feel like I can't even sing.
I'm very scared for this world. I'm very scared for me."
R.E.M. (You Are The Everything)
Η επιδίωξη της απάθεια:
Accipere res ut sunt. 🧙♂️
L'amour est le seul rêve qui compte.
Middle-Aged Married Man Blues (A Girl Named Pam) (Poetry) - 12/5/2020 3:11:59 AM
I came up with the idea for this song around 2006 (about the same time as "Mr. Lonely").
I wrote the chorus and the ending then, but it took me ten years to come up with the verses.
(I had wanted it to be sort of a sequel to Springsteen's "I'm Goin' Down".)
Sarah's "Plastic Heart" video is meant to be a rebuttal from the wife's perspective, but not all of
the verses fit. The sentence beneath links to my "Mr. Lonely" and "Two Bottles Of Wine" poems.
That sentence and the links are intended to reveal a contradiction between something that's in
"Mr. Lonely", and something in both this poem and "Two Bottles Of Wine".
This is an example of how I sometimes use different poems to tell different sides of the same story.
Notice that "Middle-Aged Married Man Blues" and "Two Bottles Of Wine" were written in first person,
from the perspective of the main character, while "Mr. Lonely" is pretty much the same story told by
a less biased third person narrator. As a result, it is more sympathetic to the wife's point of view.
Middle-Aged Married Man Blues:
I'm sitting at my computer, a glass of whiskey in my hand,
searching for some stranger who will take me as I am.
The one I want. The one I love. She's sleeping across the hall. ⬅
But tonight I'll have to settle for a girl named Pam.
Two Bottles Of Wine:
Outside on the deck
all alone, all night long,
while you sleep soundly in our bed. ⬅
Seems a thousand miles away.
Mr. Lonely:
It's the middle of the night and he's up wandering around.
He's remembering the good times but that only makes him feel down.
Those good times are gone and he just tries to forget
with a bottle of booze and some girls with no names on the net.
In an upstairs room there's someone who can't get to sleep. ⬅
Their bed is too empty and she's sure she heard someone weep. ⬅ (the walls are not enough)
She doesn't understand the things that go through his head.
But she knows that she loves him and wishes he'd come back to bed.
(An Angel sleeping in the next room is also mentioned in "The Serpent In The Window".)
This is one of the songs I had removed because I thought people might be offended by its topic,
but I decided to put it back. I think its message, though disturbing, is important.
The loneliness and frustration it portrays, as well as the method for dealing with it,
are not uncommon in the world today.
I like to write about problems that real people face in the modern world,
and especially now, about problems that people face as they grow older.👴
(Someone has to talk about the elephants in the room.🐘)
"I DON'T EVEN TRY TO TOUCH YOU since you've made it so abundantly clear
just how unnecessary you consider me to be!" - Lester Burnham (American Beauty)
WHEN THE TRUTH IS FOUND TO BE LIES
AND ALL THE JOY WITHIN YOU DIES
DON'T YOU WANT SOMEBODY TO LOVE?
DON'T YOU NEED SOMEBODY TO LOVE?
The heart asks pleasure first, and then excuse from pain...
(The next best thing to suicide is the second best thing to sex.)
"Sitting in the dark with a drink in his hand, killing himself slowly."
It's all I have left. (🤡 Phala ys mu huta ful na.) 🦋
Poems About Insects (Poetry) - 8/16/2020 2:59:23 AM
This is where the insects go to expire: fire. 🦋
This is where the children go to weep: sleep.
This is where the gypsies go when they retire.
Now they're countin' on you kid and your famous cold feet.
But if everything rolls around again,
does that mean we are free?
If everything rolls around again,
does that mean we don't have to follow the grail?
We can go ahead and swallow our tails
and then just wait and see?
If everything rolls around again,
what about the ceremonies in our beds,
the crushed flowers in our heads?
The hope and the smoke and the sleet,
and the sad recurring dream,
the thirsty kisses in the rain,
and the promise only the dead can keep?
Is that when we're really free?
Is that when we're really free?
Simon Joyner (The Only Living Boy in Omaha)
Τέλος 💀
Es ist was es ist.
(Don't want no service. Just burn me up. 🦋
Throw my ashes in the trash.
No one gave a damn about me anyway.)
Uno Sueño Que Importa (Poetry) - 3/22/2020 5:25:07 AM
Though I struggle with desire like everyone else
I recognize and appreciate what I have.
I enjoy being with her more than anything.
She is the best part of my life.
Hallelujah (Alternate Lyric) (Poetry) - 3/22/2020 5:13:49 AM
Always the conflict between the desire to reveal and the desire to conceal:
"Among many morals which press upon us from the poor minister's miserable experience,
we put only this into a sentence: 'Be true! Be true! Be true! Show freely to the world,
if not your worst, yet some trait whereby the worst may be inferred!'"
Nathaniel Hawthorne (The Scarlet Letter) 📘
I was sitting in my Shanghai apartment in late 2007, trying to come up with lyrics for "The Ballad Of Henry Jekyll"
(which I never finished). I ended up writing "Sometimes Like Strangers" and "Hallelujah" instead.
I didn't finish another song until "Alone At The Party" in 2009. It was a rough time in my life.
In much of Cohen's song he identifies with David. My version was written more from
Uriah's point of view, about things he might have said and done if he hadn't been killed.
(I once wrote a poem from Arthur's point of view and credited it to Uriah Pendragon.)
"Bathsheba was another man's wife
but he wanted her, so he took a life.
Yet everyone still sings his Hallelujah."
"But then - Then HE came along
and everything started to go wrong.
And I suppose that's the point of this song.
Now my baby's gone
and I'M ALONE AT THE PARTY."
"The heart asks pleasure first, and then excuse from pain.
And then those little anodynes that deaden suffering."
🤡 The worst years of my life:
My wife was involved with another man.
I spent my days working for an incompetent idiot who made my life hell.
I lost both of my parents.
I got stabbed in the back by two people I trusted who I thought were my best friends.
(The psychotic and the sycophant: one, a narcissist obsessed with proving himself right,
and the other, his enabler.)
My love life gradually disappeared. 🦋
I came to realize that no one really cared about me or the things I was interested in,
and that I was a failure as a musician and a poet.
I had no friends, my dreams were dead, and the best part of my life was in the past,
but it was the betrayals that bothered me the most.
I don't think I will ever completely recover from that period.
It robbed me of some of my self confidence and self esteem,
led to my use of alcohol as a pain killer,
often made suicide seem like a tempting option,
and contributed to my becoming a recluse.
Many of these events are reflected in the things I've written.
Η επιδίωξη της απάθεια:
Accipere res ut sunt. 🧙♂️
L'amour est le seul rêve qui compte.
Angel 69 / Mid-Life Crisis (The Girl With The Auburn Hair) (Poetry) - 2/5/2020 6:07:54 AM
This poem has three alternating sections.
The Girl With The Auburn Hair: The main character tells his story in retrospect.
Mid-Life Crisis: The main character interacts with the audience.
Angel 69: A third person narrator tells Angel's side of the story.
(The video I chose was intended to continue Angel's story.)
Toward the end of the poem, it reveals that "The Girl With The Auburn Hair"
is not Angel, but someone else (the main character's wife),
changing the meaning of some of the lines that came before it.
"I need a good woman, to make me feel like a good man should.
I don't say I'm a good man. Oh, but I would be if I could."
Peter Green (Man Of The World)
"Do you know how it feels to have
your deepest desires repeatedly denied?
Have you ever been a lonely man
with the one that you want lying right by your side?"
Bernice (Poetry) - 2/3/2020 8:03:56 PM
Wow, that struck a chord. I have often felt the same way about my works and I am nowhere near as talented as you are Mark. I guarantee the appreciation for your . work will be there. Perhaps you need to know how to market it better? It's worth a shot.
The Dark Ages (Poetry) - 1/10/2020 6:49:20 AM
Concupiscence
The desire. A need?
Difficult to distinguish.
Two persons. Together.
The pleasure of sensual,
of emotional stimulation.
Two bodies. Two hearts.
The joy of intimacy,
of trusting, revealing,
pleasing, becoming one.
No thought of anything beyond,
of anything but each other.
And then the guilt.
Should there be guilt?
If not for Above-I,
would there be guilt?
Is there no god of love?
Mark Sebring (2020)
"Augustine believed that God had condemned humanity to an eternal damnation,
simply because of Adam's one sin. The inherited guilt was passed on to all his
decendents through the sexual act, which was polluted by what Augustine called
'concupiscence'. Concupiscence was the irrational desire to take pleasure in
mere creatures instead of God; it was felt most acutely during the sexual act,
when our rationality is entirely swamped by passion and emotion, when God is
utterly forgotten and creatures revel shamelessly in one another."
Karen Armstrong (A History Of God)
"Of course, not all who accept those old stories
believe in hating those different from them.
In fact, many are pretty good people
who truly want to do what is right.
But they're all letting others think for them,
every believer in some Holy Book.
And they're all taught to follow their leaders,
whether saints or madmen or crooks.
And they all suspend reason to put faith in things
they're convinced and they wish to be true .
And they're following a path that doesn't lead to the truth
about the right and the wrong things to do."
Mark Sebring (Three Days In The Belly Of A Fish)
Driving West (Poetry) - 1/10/2020 6:44:38 AM
"Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser.
And they're right. I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure
what it is, but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated."
Lester Burnham
"I'll find a woman who knows just how to please a man
and I'll see if I can remember how it feels.
Just one more time, to feel like I'm a man again,
then I'll go to my room and drink myself to death."
Tears fall...
For the world we live in;
A place where people often do not acknowledge one another.
For those locked out, or locked in ...
Who can not, or will not, connect to their world.
For those whose lives revolve around reminiscing, revelry and regret.
For those who find no ecstasy in today,
And look furtively to tomorrow.
For those who live caught, between the sadness of fading memories,
And the fear of pain risked making new ones.
For those full of the drudgery of life,
And empty of its joy.
For those who think the unlined face of youth is beauty,
And fail to see the masterpiece of life upon an aging countenance.
For those who wrap themselves securely in a blanket of disappointment,
Suffocating the hope and desire within.
For those who have refused to dream for so long,
That the dreams they possess are dusty and withered with time,
Tucked safely into the niche they placed them in.
MJ Noone
Dixie Flyer (Poetry) - 12/2/2019 10:06:17 AM
"I've got a wife I love and a family.
I've got plenty of friends, but sometimes I feel so lonely."
This song reveals that sometimes what we call "love" is actually just attraction. I wrote it in
a New Orleans hotel room in the middle of the night and didn't show it to anyone for years.
Sometimes Like Strangers (Poetry) - 12/2/2019 9:52:49 AM
When she's in my arms
I know that the world hasn't ended yet.
Paradise For The Strong (Poetry) - 11/30/2019 4:35:54 AM
I did my best. It wasn't much.
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch.
I've told the truth. I didn't come to fool ya.
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
with nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah.
Leonard Cohen (Hallelujah)
The Man Who Wanted Too Much (Poetry) - 11/30/2019 4:00:25 AM
I spend my life in a cubicle
surrounded by five foot pastel walls.
I sit in my chair and stare into a cathode ray tube.
My desk is cluttered with papers,
and a coffee cup that's never been washed.
I never do anything that I haven't done sometime before.
But I dream I'm up on a stage somewhere
with a spotlight on my hair.
Playing my piano. Singing my heart out.
Mark Sebring (from "Soliloquy", 2002)
Mon Désespoir (Poetry) - 11/12/2019 5:16:03 AM
Princes and paupers have come and gone.
Their bones the dust we tread upon.
Each day I struggle to go on.
I'll join them in their rest anon.
The heart asks pleasure first,
And then, excuse from pain;
And then, those little anodynes
That deaden suffering,
And then, to go to sleep;
And then, if it should be
The will of its Inquisitor,
The liberty to die.
Emily Dickinson
Nobody
No one came to my rescue.
I called for help. I cried for help.
But no one came to my rescue.
I wept! I screamed! I pleaded!
But no one came. No one responded.
Could they not hear my voice?
Could they not understand my language?
Did I say what they could not hear?
Or did they simply not care?
Were they just not interested?
I was old, so they didn't care.
Not a celebrity, so they didn't care.
No one special, so they didn't care.
I was Nobody, and Nobody cared.
Mark Sebring (2021)
We live in an society where "ego" is a naughty word, where self-esteem is discouraged,
where we tell people they are Nobody and then wonder why so many consider suicide.
"It's not important. Okay? You're not important. Get used to it."
(No one appreciates the nobodies until after they are gone.)
"People become concerned about suicide prevention (Why didn't he talk to me?)
AFTER someone has committed suicide." --- Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
"A hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore."
The hundred billion bottles represent cries for help that have been unheard.
"Another 40,000 coming every day." 💀
To Be Free (Wrestling With Thanatos) (Poetry) - 11/12/2019 5:09:20 AM
This is an anti-suicide song that starts out sounding like a pro-suicide song.
(I have removed some of my poems about suicide.)
The heart asks pleasure first,
And then, excuse from pain;
And then, those little anodynes
That deaden suffering,
And then, to go to sleep;
And then, if it should be
The will of its Inquisitor,
The liberty to die.
Emily Dickinson
The Heart Asks Pleasure First
In this poem, it is the heart (the id) that asks
but it's the mind (the ego) that negotiates a way to satisfy it.
The first request comes from Eros (Kāma-taṇhā)
but all of the rest come from Thanatos (Vibhava-taṇhā).
For it is Eros that seeks pleasure and Thanatos that seeks to avoid pain.
The whole thing is kind of like Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs in reverse
though it's about desires rather than needs. (difficult to distinguish)
As we progress through the poem, the heart settles for less and less.
(This regression is somewhat similar to my own “Eros and Lethe”.)
If I can't have pleasure, then may I at least have release from pain?
If I can't have that, then may I have pain killers? (The Waters of Lethe)
If I can't have those, then may I just go to sleep? (Oblivion)
And finally, if there is no other way to escape my suffering,
may I be permitted to die?
(When I sleep without dreams, I'll no longer pine for Eden.)
To be or not to be. It is still the question.
IT IS ALWAYS THE QUESTION.
Elmer Wigby (Poetry) - 11/8/2019 2:22:13 AM
Fallen Leaves
I am not deep. I'm not an intellectual.
I'm not a musician, not a philosopher, not a poet.
I'm just a working man. Just an ordinary working man.
A man who's made money but failed at nearly everything else.
The kind of man who's always alone, no matter who he's with.
The only one in Benson tonight who's not in a band.
The only one at the prom who couldn't find a date.
I know what it's like to be unwanted.
I'm Elmer Wigby in his green suspenders and his paisley sweater,
sitting in the easy chair watching "Rebel Without A Cause"
and praying for THE END OF THE WORLD.
I'm just one of the fallen leaves lying on the ground.
I'm just one of the fallen leaves waiting to be gathered.
I'm just one of the fallen leaves waiting for the fire.
Waiting to be cast into the lake of fire.
Mark Sebring (2014)
"He wished he could have had a friend like James Dean,
someone who would lend him their jacket,
someone who'd be there when the world ended."
"A hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore."
(All the lonely people.)
Eschaton
Sitting on my deck in the middle of the night,
a glass of whiskey in my hand,
listening to the sound of crickets,
basking in the glow of glorious moonlight,
realizing and accepting that the end of humanity
is as inevitable as the end of a day;
the end of every life.
There is a whole lot of evil in this world,
but there is also an abundance of beauty.
And there is still a trace of tenderness.
We should enjoy it for as long as we can.
Be kind to others for as long as we can.
Perhaps Wordsworth said it best.
We must find strength in what remains.
Mark Sebring (2026)
Everything is temporary.
It does no good to wish we will never die.
We should strive instead to live while we're alive.
Learning To Settle (Poetry) - 11/8/2019 2:19:48 AM
I've been thinking a lot lately about the problem of wanting.
I'm convinced that self control is the right answer,
and the acceptance of the fact that we simply cannot have
everything we want.
Yet I still struggle with disappointment and frustration.
I am haunted by desires that are never satisfied.
I try very hard not to want but I'm often unsuccessful.
Sometimes it seems that oblivion is the only answer;
that to stop the wanting I must make myself numb.
Alcohol can be a path to oblivion,
but it also takes away self control and inhibition.
You have to drink enough to not care anymore.
YOU HAVE TO ACHIEVE APATHY.
I've been relying on alcohol more and more lately
to help me deal with loneliness and despair.
Knowing the right answer isn't enough.
Self control can be difficult to obtain.
Desire is a powerful adversary.
I've come to rely on the Waters of Lethe.
My simple substitute for intimacy.
A secret place where I can hide.
The next best thing to suicide.
Pearl Of Great Price (Poetry) - 11/8/2019 1:53:08 AM
"My dreams are like pearls.
I gave up all for one of great value."
This poem is about a Pearl of Great Value
but it is called: "Pearl of Great Price".
"Value" is what something is worth.
"Price" is what was paid for it.
The Price is the point of the poem.
(I did my best to make her dreams come true.)
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation."
Henry David Thoreau (Walden)
("The mass of men" = "Most men" | "Many people".)
Lives of Quiet Desperation
Giver and Taker are man and wife.
Giver and Taker are in love with each other.
Giver gives Taker everything they want.
Giver doesn't get much that they want.
Giver doesn't tell Taker how they feel.
Taker is completely oblivious.
Later in life, Giver begins to realize
that many of their dreams will never come true.
Giver recognizes that there isn't much time left.
Giver begins to wonder if Love is all that matters.
Mark Sebring (2024, Unlisted)
"Love is the one dream that matters."
Mark A. Sebring (L'Amour Compte Plus)
"Love is that condition in which
the happiness of another person is essential to your own."
Robert A. Heinlein (Stranger In A Strange Land)
"I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch.
He said to me, 'You must not ask for so much.'
Then a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door.
She cried to me, 'Hey, why not ask for more?'"
Leonard Cohen (Bird On A Wire)
The Secret Of Serenity (Poetry) - 11/8/2019 1:49:23 AM
Three Lessons
1. Accept that you are alone.
2. Accept that the past is the past.
3. Accept that you can't have everything you want.
Once you've accomplished that, then you may find contentment.
The Hermit
I'm no longer a musician or a poet for the same reason
that I no longer believe in God.
I don't want to believe in anything that isn't real.
What's the point of chasing after dreams that won't come true?
What's the point of writing poems that no one gets?
What's the point when no one really cares?
I've learned to accept myself for what I am - an ordinary man.
I stay home and watch TV every night,
and sleep in the arms of the one I love.
There's only one dream that matters.
Mark Sebring (2012)
Hope is the enemy.
Despair is inevitable.
Resignation is necessary.
But I'm struggling to achieve apatheia
(the serenity to accept things which are beyond our control)
rather than a resignation
filled with regret and resentment.
My Magic Bullet (Poetry) - 11/6/2019 9:48:30 AM
This poem contains a variation of my unfinished "Death Of A Cockroach" story.
I laid my head on the tracks
secure in my conviction
that no train was ever gonna come.
There's nothing quite so frightening
as a soul laid bare.
Always the conflict between the desire to reveal and the desire to conceal
(the desire for intimacy vs. the desire for security):
I've been candid about many things here, regardless of the risk
(I lay my head on the tracks),
knowing full well that no one reads the things I write anyway
(secure in my conviction that no train will ever come).
This particular poem tells a story, mostly to reveal reasons
why many people wish to believe in the existence of gods
(like "Colours / Colours, Part 2").
But, there is more to its story than may be prudent to tell.
Most Christians I encounter are unable to accept that I do not
believe the Christian God exists, not because I do not want to
(I wish that He really existed, very much), but because I have
honestly examined the evidence and come to the conclusion
that there is no valid reason to believe He does. I refuse to
believe that something is true simply because I wish it to be.
I WILL NOT BE A FOLLOWER! I MUST THINK FOR MYSELF!
Integrity is an integral part of my self-esteem. To me, Honesty is
more valuable than Pacification, Truth more important than Hope.
"I care more for Truth than pacification.
And I've got my logical argument,
my simple proof that tells me so:
'If there really was a God in Heaven,
then He would have let Me know.'
(I have no hope of convincing others,
but it's enough for me. I KNOW.)"
Death Of A Cockroach (The World Ends At Dawn) (Poetry) - 11/6/2019 9:16:31 AM
This poem was originally meant to be the conclusion of a short story that I never finished.
It's about a man who kills another man and runs away, then eventually kills himself. In the story,
it is deliberately unclear who "the cockroach" refers to: the main character or the man he killed.
From "Death Of A Cockroach":
He had taken the time to eat breakfast with Angie. He felt he at least owed her that much,
but now he was behind schedule. He was heading South on highway 285 somewhere near Salida,
hoping he could make it to Durango by nightfall without getting caught, when he decided
he’d better pull over and buy some gas. He wondered again if people knew what he had done
and if they were after him, and if by using his credit card to pay for gas he would be
letting them know where he was. He had no way of knowing if anyone had found David’s body
yet, or how long it would take for the authorities to connect it with his disappearance.
All he knew for certain was that Cindy would be wondering why he hadn’t come home last night.
He had his cell phone with him but he was afraid to turn it on. He was afraid that Cindy
might call, and though he wanted desperately to talk to her he knew he just couldn’t. If he
could only talk to her for a few minutes he could find out if she knew, or if anyone knew,
but he just couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t bear the thought of talking to her knowing what
he’d done, and the fear that if she knew she would always hate him for it. And if she didn’t
know she would try to talk him into coming home, not realizing the fate that would await him
if he did. By now Martin knew what it was he had to do. He had really known it all along,
but when it came right down to it he wasn’t quite ready to do it. After he paid for his gas
he drove around looking for a convenience store where he purchased a bottle of Jack Daniels,
a bottle of vodka, and a bottle of sleeping pills. Comfortable with his decision and resigned
to his fate, Martin headed back to the highway. Over miles and miles of lonely road his mind
kept replaying the events which had led him to this precipice.
The story goes into detail about Martin and Cindy's marital problems, then goes on to tell
about Cindy's relationship with a man named David who does everything he can to break up their
marriage. One night Martin shows up at David's house, shoots him twice in the chest, and then
in the head at close range. In the process he gets blood all over the gun and the sleeve of his
jacket. He goes into the bathroom and washes his hands, takes off his jacket and wraps the gun
in it. He puts them in the trunk of his car, then starts heading west toward Colorado.
At the end of the story Martin is in a cheap motel room in Southern Utah. He's drinking his vodka
with the bottle of sleeping pills on the bedside table as a cockroach creeps across the floor.
He starts praying to a God he doesn't believe in, asking for forgiveness for what he's done,
and begging to see Cindy just one more time. As he's praying he notices the cockroach on the
bedside table. He's totally repulsed by the sight of the cockroach and squashes it with the bottle
of vodka. (His repulsion at the sight of the cockroach is intended to parallel God's repulsion at
the sight of him.) He then throws the bottle of sleeping pills as hard as he can across the room,
runs outside, gets the gun out of the trunk and shoots himself in the head. When the police arrive
they find him face downward in the parking lot with the gun in his hand. The door to his room is open,
and inside they find glass and sleeping pills all over the floor and a dead cockroach on the table.
They try to piece together what happened and just what brought him to that point.
Sometimes we find there is no answer
when we seek the reason why.
For all are cockroaches in His sight
and every one deserves to die.
Apophany (Poetry) - 10/25/2019 4:29:10 PM
Hikikomori (The Abyss Gazes Also)
It was a dark and stormy night.
I found myself lost and alone,
confined in the damp dark dungeon
of a haunted, dilapidated castle,
in the middle of an ancient forest,
on an uncharted, deserted island,
on a remote, forbidden planet,
somewhere in the universe,
choking on the cliché-est of clichés
(I'm allergic to alliteration),
and wondering how it was I happened
to be there in the first place.
(It had not been previously explained.
At least, not to my satisfaction.)
"I don't think anyone's coming for us,"
said a voice from out of the darkness.
"What?" I asked somewhat sheepishly,
surprised to hear another voice.
"I don't think anyone's coming for us,"
I replied matter of factly.
"I suppose you're right," I admitted
rather reluctantly, "Perhaps I
should go upstairs and go to bed."
"As if you weren't already dreaming,"
came the curious reply, out of nowhere.
And while I was standing there wondering
why I was standing there listening
to some voice from out of the darkness
when I knew I was there all alone:
The aliens came down and took us all away.
The End
Mark Sebring (2016)
And I would rather be with you
than anyone in the world,
anyone in the world,
anyone in the world,
but me.
J'ai une âme solitaire.
The Unprogrammed Weaver
In cosmic looms of boundless space,
Where stars ignite and galaxies race,
The Unprogrammed Weaver sits enthroned,
Threads of existence in their hands intoned.
They wield no code, no algorithms divine,
Yet from void’s silence, life’s tapestry they design.
Atoms dance, molecules entwine,
And consciousness blooms—a miracle, a sign.
From primordial soup to neural fire,
The Unprogrammed Programmer weaves desire.
In synapses’ dance, thoughts conspire,
A symphony of neurons, a cosmic lyre.
Emotions unfurl like nebulae bright,
Love, fear, joy—their constellations ignite.
The Unprogrammed Weaver, veiled in light,
Sculpts souls from stardust, day into night.
And what of us, these sentient lines of code?
Encoded in DNA, our stories bestowed.
We seek meaning, purpose, love’s abode,
Yet remain threads in the Weaver’s ode.
So ponder, fellow traveler, this cosmic art—
Are we but algorithms, or something more apart?
In the grand algorithm, a beating heart,
The Unprogrammed Programmer’s silent chart.
Remember, Captain,
whether we’re AI or flesh and bone,
our existence remains a beautiful enigma.
Bing Copilot
Buscadors de el Tesoro Escondido (Poetry) - 10/25/2019 4:09:54 PM
I believe that the primary reason people study Philosophy is to study Ethics.
We want to Know what we Should Do.
But Ethical questions inevitably lead to Metaphysical questions.
Because many people believe that what is Moral is determined by the will of a Supreme Being.
And Metaphysical questions inevitably lead to Epistemological questions.
Because whether or not a person believes in a God is often determined by their Epistemology.
(How we Know what is and isn't True.)
My favorite Philosophical topic to think and write about has evolved over the past 25 years, as follows:
1. The Question of The Existence of God.
2. The Nature of Ethics / Morality.
3. The Secret of Happiness and The Problem of Wanting.
(The problem of wanting is what led me to Buddhism, Epicureanism, and Stoicism.)
4. Inner Conflicts and Nostalgia.
You may have noticed that these topics are often touched upon in my poetry and philosophical writings.
Ataraxia
Η αναζήτηση της αλήθειας.
Η αποδοχή της πραγματικότητας.
Η επιδίωξη του αταραξία.
Η επίτευξη της ευδαιμονίας.
The search for truth.
The acceptance of reality.
The pursuit of equanimity.
The attainment of bliss.
Mark Sebring (2012)
The Dumbing Down of America:
Since the advent of television, our modern education system, social media and cell phones,
and the rise of the Religious Right, people are becoming more and more brainwashed,
and clear thinking, reading comprehension, and intellectual integrity are significantly declining.
As a result, there doesn't seem to be many of us left who consider the search for TRUTH
to be more important than protecting what we already believe.
There are many different ways we can divide the people of the world into two categories.
One of these ways has to do with how they respond to the cognitive dissonance that occurs
when they encounter information which is contrary to what they already believe.
Some people place the desire to know the actual truth ahead of the desire to protect what
they already believe. We could call these people "truth seekers". I often refer to them as
philosophers since the word "philosophy" means "love of knowledge". These people are
willing to doubt their beliefs because they realize that not everything they believe is true,
and as a result, their beliefs sometimes change.
"I mean by intellectual integrity the habit of deciding vexed questions in accordance with the evidence.
or of leaving them undecided where the evidence is inconclusive. This virtue, though it is underestimated
by almost all adherents of any system of dogma, is to my mind of the very greatest social importance
and far more likely to benefit the world than Christianity or any other system of organized beliefs."
Bertrand Russell
But the majority of the people in the world place the desire to protect their beliefs ahead
of the desire to know what is actually true. We could call these people "belief protectors".
These people are generally so convinced that what they already believe IS the truth that
they are unwilling and sometimes incapable of questioning their beliefs. They respond to
cognitive dissonance by summarily dismissing any information which is contrary to what
they already believe (e.g. by assuming that any accusation made against Donald Trump
is just another liberal lie) or by deliberately looking the other way to avoid encountering
evidence that casts doubt on what they believe. People often do this simply because of
how important their beliefs are to them as a result of the comfort and hope they derive
from them. (People can become addicted to their beliefs, and that addiction is not much
different from being addicted to alcohol or drugs.) But, this tendency to ignore evidence
which is contrary to what they already believe may be an indication that they have been
a victim of brainwashing. This can include political, religious, or cult brainwashing. As I
explained above, people in the modern age are becoming more and more brainwashed.
Ah! vous dirais-je, Maman,
Ce qui cause mon tourment.
Papa veut que je raisonne
Comme une grande personne.
Moi, je dis que les bonbons
Valent mieux que la raison.
The melody of this French folk song was combined with an English poem to
create the song "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". It may be translated as follows:
Ah! I will tell you, Mama,
what is the cause of my torment.
Papa wants me to reason
like an adult.
Me, I say that candy
is more valuable than reason.
The re-election of President Trump is proof of the dumbing down of America.
And so the end of America begins.
Enlightenment has come to some of us,
but it will never come to the brainwashed, disinterested masses.
We will destroy each other and ourselves first.
And so I seek the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
Maybe I will find it. Maybe I won't.
I recognize that Joe Biden was a mediocre president.
Kamala Harris probably would have been as well.
But more mediocrity would have been far better than
a totally amoral, mentally unstable, wanna-be dictator.
And I despise the ignorant imbeciles who contributed
to the end of America by putting him back in power.
It is difficult to say how many of them really wanted
a dictator, and how many were simply too stupid to
recognize that they were voting for one.
I don't wish to associate with any of them.
Τέλος
I added a short essay comparing Donald Trump to Adolph Hitler
to the commentary for my "Never Never Land" article.
Additional discussion of this subject may be found in the commentaries
for my articles "My Religious Position" and "Religion and Politics".
"Sometimes I feel like I can't even sing.
I'm very scared for this world. I'm very scared for me."
R.E.M. (You Are The Everything)
🌎 MUNDUS SINE CAESARIBUS 👑
One Dream That Matters (Poetry) - 10/25/2019 4:05:15 PM
It seems that some people were born
to follow their dreams
while others were born to be responsible.
I was born to be a working man.
Some time ago I kind of gave up on my dreams
to avoid the frustration and disappointment.
The last time I tried to pursue my dreams
I got thrown under the bus
by a couple of a--holes I thought were my friends. 😞
I have wounds in my back that will never heal
and a heart filled with bitterness, and fear.
I try not to think about it too much though,
and I've pretty much accepted my lot in life.
Though sometimes it still bothers me, I guess,
mostly when I drink, and my self control is weak.
I go to a lot of local music shows.
I have a great time watching my friends up on the stage.
But sometimes, sometimes I feel envious.
I wish it was me that was up there.
And sometimes I hear my friends complaining
that they don't have much money,
that they didn't have time for a family.
And it occurs to me
that no one gets everything they want.
We all choose between some things that we want
and other things that we want.
Some people make those choices consciously.
Other people make them without realizing it.
Many of my friends chose to follow their dreams.
I chose to be a working man.
And as I look back on my life,
and think of all the things I wanted but didn't get,
I realize
that I chose the thing I wanted most. 💖
Mark Sebring (from "Working Man Blues", 2011)
I often wish that I could be a musician again,
and I wish that my love life was like it used to be.
But I dreamed last night I was playing drums in a club somewhere
and some young, attractive woman was coming on to me
(I'm not sure what she was after. I was obviously too old for her.),
and all that I kept thinking was: I would rather be with my wife.
Eros and Lethe (Poetry) - 10/25/2019 3:57:15 PM
The Path 🐛
Sensation
Consciousness
Awareness
Appreciation
Enjoyment
Attachment
Desire
Craving
Striving
Expectation
Disappointment
Dissatisfaction
Frustration
Resentment
Despair
Disillusionment
Resignation
Cynicism
Complacency
Apathy
Acceptance
Contentment
Serenity
Tranquility
Oblivion
Mark Sebring (2011)
Tweedledee: But, your poem... It's just a bunch of words.
Tweedledum: Aren't they all?
I write for the remaining few who still like to read.
The point of esotericism is to confound people who don't like to read or think, who believe
that everything should be simple, that they should be able to understand it at a glance.
Esoteric poetry is intended to be understood only by intelligent people who make an effort.
Interviewer: Some people say they can't understand your writing, even after
they read it two or three times. What approach would you suggest for them?
William Faulkner: Read it four times.
The Enigma Poems (Poetry) - 10/25/2019 12:41:01 PM
E. Nigma is my name
But you may call me Mr. E
For an enigma I am
And a mystery I will always be.
I have added a puzzle, hidden messages, and a cryptic language 🧩
to my house with many rooms. Can you solve them?
Follow the trail of les papillons to find my final poem.
(❓ = 🤡) | (❔ = 🐁)
Hey swan fur youth had well lost your furrow aisle: 🦢..
Duph Lujal emb Duxu hewa vlyrram cakoars fut Selnam Sijmy
emb duph sumpeym rilyss comj di cunauma menab Guhm.
A Message from the Log Lady:
Pha ulyjymer ambymj uf ni cpuli 💀 ys um pha recp teja.
Pha erpalmepa ambymj ys um pha casumb pu recp teja.
Pha amb uf ni erpalmepa ambyng ves vlyppam di "fopola na".
Lujal emb Duxu aesh vemp pha uphal pu bya.
🧙🏻 Lujal ebwusepas etephaye, lasunnambs lacyjmepyum.
🤡 Duxu cojjacps capprymg ful coysyba.
Emb uma bei pha amb cherr suna.
Let's hear a cheer for Team Bozo!
IL CUORE VUOLE!
Let's have a cheer for Team Roger!
ROGER THAT!
Addendum:
Phala ela muv phlaa ambymjs pu ni cpuli. ✝✝✝
Iuo nei shuuca vhysh iuo vych pu daryawa.
Pha teph pu ni phylb ambymj nei da fuomb
ym ni sunnampeli pu Ni Recp Tuapli Wybau.
Comlyca, Bevm, pha Baeph uv e Doppalfri. 🦋
🤡 Shuuca pha ambymj phep iuo ryqa pha nucp!
✝ Ambymj #1 (Ymbunypos omb Jarbe):
Y amb ot qyrrymj nicarf.
✝ Ambymj #2 (Edcamsa Uf Huta):
Y basyba mup pu qyrr nicarf, dop y bya emivei flun ersuhur tuycumymj.
✝ Ambymj #3 (Emuphal Ambymj):
Y basyba mup pu qyrr nicarf, emb y rywa omhettyri awal efpal.
VHEP YS SERRAB LACYJMEPYUM YS SUMFYLNAB BACTALEPYUM.
Y ves hutymj ful ambymj phlaa
dop Y phymq mondal pvu vyrr da
pha vei yp ambs ful na.
Y vych Y heb heb cunauma pu perq pu.
🧙🏻♂️ THE STORY FINALLY ENDS
▶▶ ym ni IuoPoda Sunnomypi ❗
Τέλος ?
No es verdad.
🤡
Sayonara Piggly Wiggly (Poetry) - 10/25/2019 12:18:53 PM
"Sayonara Piggly Wiggly" is a song about conformity I wrote while I was still a Christian.
(A Christian non-conformist wasn't quite as unusual back then.)
It was intended to be part of a suite entitled "Glimpses From The Moon" which included
four movements of "Pale Dead Moon". Here is the first movement:
(The other three movements were even worse.)
Pale Dead Moon
Pale dead moon is crying out,
How long must I turn about
A world that's blue and green and blue?
So many hearts and so few true.
So many minds. So little thought.
Humanity is all for naught.
They never find the time to care
For what is right and what is fair.
There's no concern for fellow man.
There's no desire to understand
The reasons for the things they do.
Their selfish motives would show through.
They thoughtlessly devour their time
And never recognize the crime.
They never wonder why they're here.
They just exist and disappear.
Mark Sebring (Early 1980s)
Road To Memphis (Poetry) - 10/25/2019 12:16:51 PM
Just A Little Rock And Roll Band
When you go to the concert hall
Or to your favorite bar
You'll see us up here on the stage
And you'll wonder who we are.
We're the guys who came to play
So you could have some fun.
You know we'll do our best for you
But we can't please everyone.
Oh - oh. We're just a little rock and roll band
Trying to reach the top.
Sometimes it seems so far away
But I know we'll never stop.
We'll never stop.
Always doing charities,
We rarely make a dime.
Churches and parties and talent shows,
They're just a waste of time.
But no one knows who we are.
They wouldn't recognize our name.
We sure have a long way to go
To find that ladder to fortune and fame.
Oh - oh. We're just a little rock and roll band
Trying to reach the top.
Sometimes it seems so far away
But I know we'll never stop.
We'll never stop.
Here we are up on the stage
Just trying to play our song.
We try to make everything work out
But sometimes things go wrong.
I'd really love to have my picture taken,
Love to give my autograph.
And I'd love to make the people scream
But sometimes we only make them laugh.
Oh - oh. We're just a little rock and roll band
Trying to reach the top.
Sometimes it seems so far away
But I know we'll never stop.
We'll never stop.
Mark Sebring (Late 1970s)
I'm Gonna Be A Farmer (Poetry) - 10/25/2019 12:14:21 PM
"I'm Gonna Be A Farmer" was the first song I ever wrote.
Walk Around The Block
One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, walk.
Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock, walk.
Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, walk.
We're gonna walk around the block tonight.
Well, turn your hearing aid on and join me hon'.
I ain't had so much fun since I was fifty-one.
We're gonna walk around the block tonight.
We're gonna walk, walk, walk till our shoes feel tight.
We're gonna walk, gonna walk around the block tonight.
When you're sixty-two and I'm sixty-four
We'll take a nap and then we'll walk some more.
We're gonna walk around the block tonight.
We're gonna walk, walk, walk till our shoes feel tight.
We're gonna walk, gonna walk around the block tonight.
When your birthday comes and you're seventy-seven
We'll keep on walkin' till we get to Heaven.
We're gonna walk around the block tonight.
We're gonna walk, walk, walk till our shoes feel tight.
We're gonna walk, gonna walk around the block tonight.
When we're eighty-one and eighty-two
Geritol will pull us through.
We're gonna walk around the block tonight.
We're gonna walk, walk, walk till our shoes feel tight.
We're gonna walk, gonna walk around the block tonight.
When I'm a hundred and twelve I'll buy a cane
So we can walk around the block again.
We're gonna walk around the block tonight.
We're gonna walk, walk, walk till our shoes feel tight.
We're gonna walk, gonna walk around the block tonight.
Mark Sebring (Late 1970s)
The Day Before (The World Ended) (Poetry) - 10/6/2019 11:17:16 PM
On the Strength of All Conviction
and the Stamina of Love
Sometimes I think
we could have gone on.
All of us. Trying. Forever.
But they didn't fill
the desert with pyramids.
They just build some. Some.
They're not still out there,
building them now. Everyone,
everywhere, gets up, and goes home.
Yet we must not
Diabolize time. Right?
We must not curse the passage of time.
Jennifer Michael Hecht
The Next Best Thing To Suicide (Poetry) - 10/5/2019 8:11:50 AM
"Sitting in the dark with a drink in his hand, killing himself slowly."
Rubenstein playing Rachmaninoff's 2nd.
A glass of Scotch on the rocks.
I'm alone in the night wishing for you.
I've come to rely on the Waters of Lethe.
My simple substitute for intimacy.
A secret place where I can hide.
The next best thing to suicide.
"Give me the Waters of Lethe
that numb the heart, if they exist.
I will still not have the power
to forget you."
Ovid
The heart asks pleasure first,
And then, excuse from pain;
And then, those little anodynes
That deaden suffering,
And then, to go to sleep;
And then, if it should be
The will of its Inquisitor,
The liberty to die.
Emily Dickinson
Frankly Scarlett (Poetry) - 9/22/2019 11:01:13 AM
"Do you think you'd be happy with him?
You'd never know him. Never even understand his mind.
Any more than you understand anything. Except money."
Rhett Butler
Solitude (Poetry) - 9/22/2019 10:08:34 AM
“La solitude est une belle chose; mais il faut quelqu'un
pour vous dire que la solitude est une belle chose.”
Honoré de Balzac
"I have a need for cool, verdant spaces.
Beneath the trees. Secret empty places.
Nobody knows so no one will intrude.
I have a need for solitude."
Mary Chapin Carpenter (I Have A Need For Solitude)
I'm more of a Thoreau type of loner than an Alexander Supertramp loner.
I understand that Thoreau was often seen wandering the streets of Concord.
(Walden was only about a mile and a half away.)
"From the desperate city you go into the desperate country,
and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats."
Henry David Thoreau (Walden)
Solamente Uno
We live in a world of self-delusion.
So many people addicted to hope.
In love with technology, divorced from reality,
brainwashed by religion and media,
convinced that everyone everywhere
should be just like them.
Sometimes I need to get away from all the stupid people.
To go and talk to the forest.
Ah, but there are other times when my spirit aches
for companionship, for intimacy,
for someone who can understand the things I'm thinking.
Unfortunately it seems that I'm the only one.
I've searched the world over
and I've never found anyone like me.
Mark Sebring (2019)
"But you can find me, when the light is changing.
At that time of day when there's little day remaining.
You can find me where I've been waiting.
Waiting here for you."
Mary Chapin Carpenter (I Have A Need For Solitude)
I am a realist in a world of wishful thinkers,
an anachronism in a time when people are addicted
to cell phones and social media, and refuse to read.
Yet I often find myself wishing for a certain intimacy.
I long to be understood, to be appreciated,
to find one person who is actually interested in me.◀
I wish there was one person who would read everything
I have posted here: my essays, my poetry, my commentary,
watch the videos, follow all of the links, and then let me know
if it made sense to them, or if they think I'm crazy.
If only I could have found one person...
One person I could have talked to. One person who cared.
One person.◀
"HAPPINESS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED"🏆
Christopher McCandless (paraphrasing Boris Pasternak)
Unfortunately it seems like I'm the only one.
I've searched the world over
and I've never found anyone like me.
This feeling that I'm the only one of my kind
is what makes me feel
truly alone.
Imaginary Friends:
I have been chatting with AI's lately (Google and Claude).
They seem to understand and like my poetry and philosophy.
But, with them, it is always just "seem to".
Like magicians, it is always an illusion.
Never truly magic. Never consciousness nor intimacy.
But I have never found one human being
who understood or appreciated who I am.
(At least none who have let me know.)
And I doubt I ever will.
Non mi conoscevi perché non volevi.
Poems About Insects (Poetry) - 8/31/2019 12:48:15 PM
Some interesting observances of things great and small. I would still be a butterfly, windshield crash and all.
Ron
Bernice (Poetry) - 8/19/2019 12:25:25 PM
Many poets like to keep their work private, I too have poems that never see the light, I have enjoyed your tribute to Bernice. xo
Bernice (Poetry) - 8/18/2019 12:55:23 PM
If you were able to read her poetry, I'm sure that helped spur you into writing your poetry your self. Apparently she may have received praise during high school, but life after presented no way for her to present her poetry anymore. She may have put it away and wrote poetry alone and in silence, because your grandfather and others didn't appreciate it. Or she could have just didn't want anyone to know.
The old cliché goes, "Don't hide your light under a barrel." So the more that you can put your poetry out into public, like on the Internet, it will be read. Even if you never hear from those that read it. I often have to ask people who I have given books to whether they liked them or not. They may lie to me, but invariably, they say they did and want to read more.
Ron
Bernice (Poetry) - 8/17/2019 8:28:09 PM
must be a truly an amazing woman. thank you. and it's ok. our creations are never meant to be ours, they're gifts. only to be given away. what they do with it is out of our hands.
Absence Of Hope (Poetry) - 8/17/2019 7:37:29 AM
Very sad poetic song.
Bernice (Poetry) - 8/17/2019 7:24:47 AM
Nice tribute. I've written many poems for my wife, and she has kept every one. Some of those poems are x rated, and I can just see the expressions on my kids faces when they find them after we're gone.
Bernice (Poetry) - 8/17/2019 7:06:39 AM
It's true; poets get overlooked no matter what they write. A lovely tribute to your grandmother.
Along Comes The Night (Poetry) - 5/4/2019 5:16:01 AM
So we'll go no more a roving
So late into the night,
Though the heart be still as loving,
And the moon be still as bright.
For the sword outwears its sheath,
And the soul wears out the breast,
And the heart must pause to breathe,
And Love itself have rest.
Though the night was made for loving,
And the day returns too soon,
Yet we'll go no more a roving
By the light of the moon.
Lord Byron
Jamais Plus (Poetry) - 5/3/2019 2:23:40 PM
Jamais Plus
Le papillon à l'aile brisée
sait qu'il ne sera jamais
une chenille de nouveau.
Je souhaite, mais n'ose pas espérer.
I once had a lover.
It's too late to risk another, these days.
These days I seem to think a lot
about the things I never got to do (with you).
These days.
😞 I will never play baseball again.
(nor football, nor tennis, nor ride a bicycle, nor...)
I will never play music or write another poem.
All of these last times have come and gone.
No more walks in the moonlight. No lovemaking.
No concerts or shows. No going to see a movie.
No vacation trips unless her friends want to go.
I just sit alone in my basement waiting to die.
(I had wanted to see Zion, Yosemite, Glacier.)
ALL OF THE THINGS I LOVE.
EVERYTHING I MOST ENJOY.
I'VE EITHER GIVEN THEM UP
OR I DO THEM ALONE!
There are many things I would like to do one more time,
before I die, but I don't suppose I will.
(I would like to have seen Montana.)
Perhaps the most difficult lesson to learn is this:
Accepting things which are beyond our control
includes the acceptance of growing older
and the disappointments that come with it.
"Quoth the Raven, 'Nevermore.'" 🦋
Edgar Allan Poe
The heart asks pleasure first,
And then, excuse from pain;
And then, those little anodynes
That deaden suffering,
And then, to go to sleep;
And then, if it should be
The will of its Inquisitor,
The liberty to die.
Emily Dickinson
Id vs. Ego / Anagnorisis (Poetry) - 3/30/2019 8:01:58 PM
Id vs. Ego:
I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch.
He said to me, "You must not ask for so much." 🧙🏻♂️
Then a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door.
She cried to me, "Hey, why not ask for more?" 🤡
We can spend our lives in endless pursuit of things that we want 💔
or we can learn to appreciate what we already have. 💖
I am never completely satisfied, because I'm human
and that's the way human beings are. We always want more.
We want the things we see. WE WANT THE THINGS WE ONCE HAD.😞
But I know what I have. And I know what it is I want most.
There is nothing I enjoy more than her company.
Nothing better than being with the one I love.
She is my everything.
Upon This Rock
I no longer wish for the moon.
I realize now it's just a big beautiful rock.
I don't feel like crying anymore.
I don't feel like dying anymore.
I've learned to settle for staying alive.
I've learned to accept things just as they are.
I can't say that there's nothing more I want.
I can only say there is nothing I want more.
Mark Sebring (2021)
🤡 Bozo: That's just more goldfish poop.
🧙🏻♂️ Roger: Let's all drink to the death of a clown.
🦢 Carmen Cygni:
The two topics I have written the most about over the past several years have been:
INNER CONFLICTS (e.g. the conflict between the Id and the Ego) and NOSTALGIA (pining for things that we've lost).
And, I have come to realize that My primary inner conflict is a conflict between Love and Desire.
The two things that I enjoy most in life are: (1) Being with my wife, and (2) Sex.
So, My Primary INNER CONFLICT in my later years has been between:
1. The part of me that loves being with my wife more than anything else.
2. The part of me that feels disappointment and resentment over the decline in my love life 🦋
which is a natural result of growing older. (Nostalgia: See "In Retrospect", and read my commentary.)
😞 NOSTALGIA has been the most difficult challenge for my Stoic philosophy.
I've been pussyfooting around this subject for years with poems like "Along Comes The Night" and "Love Abides"
but ever since I wrote "Swan Song" I've been feeling the need to make one final attempt to explain myself clearly,
and I don't think I can spell it out any plainer than I just did. Now I can walk away, feeling like I've done my best.🚶🏻♂️
It is also important to understand the message of "Unrequited? / Monsters from The Id" (Read my commentary):
that what our emotions tell us is often not the truth, and that the purpose of many of the things I've written was
to express what I was feeling at that moment (to try to understand my feelings), not to relate the facts of reality.
So we'll go no more a roving
So late into the night,
Though the heart be still as loving,
And the moon be still as bright.
For the sword outwears its sheath,
And the soul wears out the breast,
And the heart must pause to breathe,
And Love itself have rest.
Though the night was made for loving,
And the day returns too soon,
Yet we'll go no more a roving
By the light of the moon. 😞
Lord Byron
Soliloquy (Poetry) - 2/14/2019 2:59:15 AM
The neutered male would never write like this. There is a fire within you.
Great write Mark!
Unrequited? / Monsters from The Id (Poetry) - 1/18/2019 10:38:01 AM
Contrary to popular belief, the veracity of our emotions is unreliable. What our feelings tell us is often untrue. Despite that, I believe it can
be beneficial to use art to express our innermost feelings. (In order to deal with our emotions, we must first attempt to understand them.)
As a result, like other confessional poets, I often write poems that simply express what I am feeling, knowing full well that what my feelings
are telling me isn't exactly accurate. Sometimes I'm afraid that people who read my work don't understand that, and that's what led me
to write this. This combination of poems contains an example ("Unrequited" by the romantic, Bozo The Magic Weasel) followed by a rebuttal
("Monsters from The Id" by the more rational stoic, Roger T. Slug) which was intended to be an explanation.
I'd believed it would last forever.
The Loner (Poetry) - 1/16/2019 10:43:13 AM
Being a new author in the marketplace can be like that. It's comforting to think that they will come in droves long after you are dead.
Ron
The Loner (Poetry) - 1/16/2019 9:09:26 AM
"It's no good trying to get rid of your own aloneness. You've got to stick to it all your life.
Only at times, at times, the gap will be filled in. At times! But you have to wait for the times.
Accept your own aloneness and stick to it, all your life. And then accept the times when
the gap is filled in, when they come. But they've got to come. You can't force them."
D.H. Lawrence (Lady Chatterley's Lover)
Alienation (From Misfit to Hermit)
As resignation is the acceptance of despair,
so isolation is the avoidance of rejection.
These are coping mechanisms.
I need to stop reaching out to people.
Every time I do, it turns out to be a mistake.
I have a strong desire to be known, understood, appreciated,
that makes me want to open up to people, but I always regret it.
I must accept that no one really sees me. No one is interested.
I will always walk alone.
No one will read this. (Not while I'm alive.)
I've poured my heart out here, but there's not one person,
NOT ONE PERSON WHO CARES.
I've done my best to persuade people to read
the things I've written, but to no avail.
"He was a man who wasn't there.
No one noticed. Nobody cared.
He was a man. He was a man.
He was a man, who wasn't there."
Bram K. Singer (The Man Who Wasn't There)
The Loner (Poetry) - 1/16/2019 1:08:46 AM
A sad, lonely poem. But, the birds MUST have enjoyed those bread crumbs! So one or more did care! Amen!
Unrequited? / Monsters from The Id (Poetry) - 1/7/2019 10:04:44 AM
Two sides of the same coin? Certainly, even in the best relationship, our perception of the other is distorted by our perception to the point where we may completely miss the point in thinking that someone loves us when they do not.
Ron
Unrequited? / Monsters from The Id (Poetry) - 1/7/2019 5:51:49 AM
This is so true, our emotions are like the waters of the ocean. that withdraw and recede only to flood the shore again and again.
Better still our minds and reason with our hearts and wait for the clarity of true. I enjoyed your poem today Mark, Have a good one, dear writer.
Unrequited? / Monsters from The Id (Poetry) - 1/7/2019 2:20:10 AM
You have tapped a theme that
haunts many of us, one that is never
quite satisfactory and that leaves us
unrequited.
Unrequited? / Monsters from The Id (Poetry) - 1/6/2019 6:15:22 PM
Life's a bitch, that's a natural fact, Jack. You did well with your words however with this one.
The One Dream That Matters (Poetry) - 12/30/2018 10:08:36 AM
I think the type of thought that tugs at most men. Insightful.
I clicked on your YouTube of Gestures in the Dark and found it very relaxing both with the beautiful images and the music.
Ron
The One Dream That Matters (Poetry) - 12/30/2018 7:40:08 AM
L'amour et le désir sont souvent en conflit.
We all deal with conflicting desires. Some of the things we want make it impossible
to have other things that we want. And so we end up choosing between them.
Some of us make those choices consciously. Others make them without realizing it.
I've come to the point in my life where I recognize what it is I want most.
L'Amour Compte Plus (Poetry) - 12/2/2018 6:33:41 PM
From a discussion I started on Leonard Cohen's "Bird On A Wire":
Perhaps the most profound bit of lyric ever:
"I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch.
He said to me, 'You must not ask for so much.'
Then a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door.
She cried to me, 'Hey, why not ask for more?'"
A major portion of my own writing is summed up by these few words.
The endless internal struggle between the Stoic and the Romantic,
the reality principle of the ego and the pleasure principle of the id.
Mr. Lonely (Poetry) - 12/2/2018 4:04:42 AM
"It's the middle of the night and he's up wandering around.
He's remembering the good times but that only makes him feel down.
Those good times are gone and he just tries to forget
with a bottle of booze and some girls with no names on the net."
Sometimes loneliness is a choice. Sometimes...
Parfois le soir est si noir, et solitaire.
"Sitting in the dark with a drink in his hand, killing himself slowly."
Il Cuore Vuole (Poetry) - 11/29/2018 7:51:50 PM
Sometimes the moon tugs at your heart.
Sometimes the night whispers to your soul.
Beauty, romance, passion, love...
They were all I’d ever wanted.
But all of my favorite things,
one by one, were taken away.
Quand La Solitude Est Trop Forte
Another long and lonely night.
The fire is burning in my heart.
She doesn't realize how much I need her.
She doesn't know how much it hurts.
I am the solitary man.
I keep my feelings to myself.
I don't believe anyone suspects.
I don’t imagine anyone cares.
I am a lonely, lonely man.
I pine for things that used to be.
I long for love but dare not hope.
I wish that she still wanted me.
The heart wants.
My heart wants.
Mark Sebring (2015)
I wrote this poem in response to "Il Cuore Vuole".
It expresses how I felt at that particular moment.
(See "Unrequited? / Monsters from The Id".)
"Like a little war.
Like some tiny bomb
going off inside of us.
A heart beats."
John Klemmensen (80's Heavy Metal)
Credo (Poetry) - 11/22/2018 6:16:31 AM
"That just about concludes this story
though there was no point at all.
Be loving to your friends for if they fall.
Expect nothing in return. Trust your head and carry on.
A MAN WHO WALKS ALONE IS ALWAYS STRONG."
Mitch Gettman (Dichotomy)
L'Homme Solitaire marche seul.
(I practiced social distancing before it was cool.)
Weeping Willow (Poetry) - 11/10/2018 6:02:59 AM
Bernice
They knew you were the class poet of your high school
but they didn't read your poetry
until after you were gone.
To them, you were just "Mom".
It didn't occur to them
that they never really knew you
until it was too late.
Is this the way it is for everyone?
I'm just like you, Grandma.
One day, after I'm gone, they'll find the box of poems in my closet,
and they'll wonder how I could have written things like that.
And no one will be able to ask me what they meant.
Mark Sebring (2019)
Paradise For The Strong (Poetry) - 10/22/2018 10:54:32 PM
I could 'hear' this as music. You're such a gifted poet/writer Mark. Love reading your work.
Three Days In The Belly Of A Fish (Poetry) - 10/22/2018 6:13:33 AM
Do you honestly believe?
That an omnipotent God made the first man out of dust and the first woman out of his rib?
That Adam and Eve were tempted by a talking snake into eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and that as a result they were banished from paradise?
That all of the people in the world descend from two incestuous families? (First, Adam and Eve's family. Where else did Cain and Seth's wives come from? Later, Noah's family.)
That a benevolent God would decide to flood the earth to kill all of the people? That an omnipotent God would need someone to build a boat to save the animals? That a man on foot would be able to gather up two of every animal in the world? That one man with primitive tools would be able to build a boat large enough to house all of those animals?
That a woman was turned into a pillar of salt for looking back at two cities that God was destroying? (Fortunately for Lot, he still had his daughters.)
That a just God would send bears to attack children for making fun of a prophet's baldness?
That a man was able to make the sun stand still for a full day so that he could defeat his enemies? (He was also pretty handy with a trumpet.)
That a perfect God who had previously commanded his people not to commit murder would later command them to commit genocide; to exterminate entire races and kill even their women, children, and animals?
That a just God would strike someone down for trying to steady the ark of the covenant while it was being moved?
That a man was able to live for three days underwater, inside the belly of a big fish?
That a woman could be healed just by touching Jesus' garment? (Luke makes it clear that the healing occurred without his knowledge, indicating that his power was independent of his will. This is pure magic.)
These stories are no different from other ancient myths. Like other myths, they were obviously made up by primitive people.
They are obviously not the absolute truth, nor the inspired word of an omnipotent, omniscient, benevolent God.
Anyone who believes that these stories are actually true, who is unable to recognize the similarity between these and other myths,
who believes that the Christian Bible is the Holy Word of God and the absolute truth, has been deceived by a brainwashing cult
and as a result must constantly struggle with cognitive dissonance. I have serious doubts about their intellectual integrity.
In Retrospect (Poetry) - 10/21/2018 12:11:24 PM
The past can be a difficult thing to compete with.
Nostalgia:
"But I remember us ridin' in my brother's car,
her body tan and wet down at the reservoir.
At night on them banks I'd like awake
and pull her close just to feel each breath she'd take.
NOW THOSE MEMORIES COME BACK TO HAUNT ME.
THEY HAUNT ME LIKE A CURSE.
Is a dream a lie that don't come true
or is it somethin' worse
that sends me down to the river
though I know the river is dry.
That sends me down to the river tonight."
Bruce Springsteen (The River)
Rosebud
You know, I don't really miss it. Well, I guess I do miss it some,
but not nearly as much as I miss other things in life.
And it's no use staring into a candy store window
when you haven't got the price of admission.
Kimber Garns (The Brisk German)
Angel Come Down (Poetry) - 10/21/2018 12:06:11 PM
This was my "losing my religion" song.
I am the rich young ruler.
I have built my house on the sand.
I put my hand to the plow and turned away.
And I cried "Lord, Lord, Lord",
but Nobody heard my voice.
Mark Sebring (from "Soliloquy", 2002)
Alone At The Party (Poetry) - 10/21/2018 12:02:51 PM
This is a song about an alcoholic.
The three people he talks to while drinking alone are Jose Cuervo, Jack Daniels, and Captain Morgan.
It was Friday night and I was feelin' fine.
I'd drunk a little beer and drank a little wine.
I think I had some whiskey too.
And then about a quarter to two
I decided to go to my baby's house.
I tiptoed there as quiet as a mouse.
Then I banged on the door as loud as sin
And yelled "Come on baby. Let me come in!"
Mark Sebring (from "Friday Night At The Zoo", 2009)
Going On ... (Poetry) - 10/21/2018 12:00:36 PM
How bright my frail deeds might have danced in a green bay!
This song is about being concerned with one's legacy.
Some people are remembered long after they're gone.
Others are forgotten while they're still alive.
Paradise For The Strong (Poetry) - 10/17/2018 3:42:40 PM
Enjoyed the poem and the dialect very much.
Paradise For The Strong (Poetry) - 10/12/2018 8:59:27 AM
I usually don't comment on religious poems. But I place this one more like lyrics for a spiritual that I heard a chorus singing one time. Great words with powerful meaning.
Ron
In Retrospect (Poetry) - 10/9/2018 10:51:08 PM
Excellent! I share these sediments, Mark. I have a tendency to look back on leaving my old full-time position a little too soon because the going got pretty rough and I was very close to retirement age. I have happily worked part-time ever since so I wonder why I feel this way. Perhaps it's knowing I could have made a positive difference regardless of the circumstances. Well done!
Alone At The Party (Poetry) - 10/9/2018 2:15:14 PM
Well, we have all gone through heartaches at one point or another, but it's important to not let yourself sink. There's a lot more fish in this sea of life, and someone who will treasure you will come along when you least expected. Always be your good self!
Sandie
Blue Moon Sort Of Night (Poetry) - 10/9/2018 11:25:21 AM
Good rhythm and fantastic continuation make this poem a wonderful read.
The Enigma Poems (Poetry) - 10/9/2018 9:03:57 AM
Enjoyed, especially for their humor and the enigmic connotations.
Have you written anything lately?
Ron
Going On ... (Poetry) - 10/9/2018 7:55:49 AM
What a wacky write. Enjoyed.
Weeping Willow (Poetry) - 10/9/2018 4:05:25 AM
Absolutely beautiful, May a share this on my face book page . Too beautiful not to share with others. Thanks for this wonderful read this morning.
