Like a Candle ...... (Poetry) - 2/2/2015 9:45:15 AM
One point: I would say "breasts," vs. "tits" - the latter is more crude; the former is more classy. I would also say play with various forms; both lyrical and free-form - you can loosen the constraints by reading other poems that are both light and dark in mood; and get some further inspiration. This one feels a bit too constrained instead of all-out passionate.
Like a Candle ...... (Poetry) - 1/2/2015 8:01:10 AM
I'm sure she will love it. A little too forced to be genuine.
Ron
Like a Candle ...... (Poetry) - 12/31/2014 5:26:27 PM
12-31-2014:
Body And Mind Are 2 Totally
Different Things...
Love Is Myth
True Love Is Compassion...
TRASK...
Like a Candle ...... (Poetry) - 12/30/2014 5:46:46 AM
What a beautiful love poem.
Love is divided by Life (Poetry) - 11/20/2013 11:36:49 AM
Life is divided up into many instances, some happy, some sad and some just passing time. I like your way of referring to what life looks like in the rearview mirror.
Ron
I asked her a flower ! (Poetry) - 9/4/2013 7:47:02 PM
Thanks dear Mr. Johm Domino for your valuable comments
Regards & Love
WILLIAMSJI MAVELI
I asked her a flower ! (Poetry) - 9/4/2013 5:58:27 PM
Cool William - well expressed! Steamy!
I asked her a flower ! (Poetry) - 9/4/2013 8:09:28 AM
Did she give you a lifetime strait jacket? ;-)
Ron
I asked her a flower ! (Poetry) - 9/3/2013 10:14:15 PM
Good expressions williams , just get going!!!
A life in delight and sorrow (Poetry) - 4/15/2013 11:40:23 AM
we all mistakes in life. sometimes we take the right road and sometimes the wrong one, but for sure...in the midst of everything...prayer is always helpful.
asa
A shapeless blue moon (Poetry) - 4/13/2013 2:11:33 PM
Very lustful poetry. Welcome to AD.
A life in delight and sorrow (Poetry) - 4/12/2013 8:00:47 AM
More philosophical than religious, I will take the high road to happiness.
Ron
