It'll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting (Book) - 12/10/2017 10:51:45 AM
An Essential Read
It'll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting is a decidedly bittersweet, entertaining autobiography of Lisa M. Orban, who was raised by an immature alcoholic mother veering from pillar to post and husband to husband with the consequence Lisa becomes a parentified child, forced to live an adult life before she is one. Hoping to escape the chaos of her mother’s home, she opts to live with her father, and she quickly finds out the grass isn't greener as she learns he is a controlling, law-enforcement officer allowing no autonomy and demanding rigid adherence to too-strict rules.
Lisa starts her life as an indomitable human spirit and this spirit eventually comes to the fore after repeated unfair treatment causing rebellion against her toxic father to whom she wouldn’t apologize when he gives her yet another cruel version of his latest tough love policy, which eventuates in Lisa being put into the foster care system. At first, there was a wonderful reprieve as she meets Eula. The author writes, “My time with Eula may have been the happiest of my adolescence. I had love, acceptance, and stability, I had freedom that was laced with reasonable rules that kept me safe without feeling confined. I excelled in
my classes and caused no problems for anyone. And, as it turned out, it was my doing so well that caused my exile from Eula's home (after only three months). My father
had been keeping tabs on me after entering the foster system.”
The reoccurring theme, “And then it got bad” shows up as Lisa is forced to leave Eula's home where she has never felt so unconditionally loved and understood. She then moves to another foster home and it is bad and so is the next, just not quite as bad!
At first, it was so hopeful that Lisa's circle of friendships which she was able to develop all of her young life into adulthood end up being at first a loyal, helpful influence, a handhold for her. Then some of the friendships turn into a mixed bag as she begins to follow the haphazard course of “children learn what they live and live what they learn.” If you don't know healthy, you don't make healthy choices overall and especially with respect to the maturity and the mental health of significant others!
Although offered an escape route from a lover Lisa is warned about, because her friends know that he has a dark side she has never witnessed, she makes a choice that ups the ante for her life theme “And then it gets bad." As Lisa stay with this man, her life unfolds in a series of unfortunate incidents which escalates into such seriousness that her life is at stake.
The story and denouement of author Lisa M. Orban’s life at times left me rocking with laughter and at other times wracked with fear and pain for her as she sacrifices herself to chaos and the toxic behaviors of others while also trying to find an elusive stability within and without.
The author makes it very clear at the end of her story what domestic abuse is! She lists the toxic behaviors and also gives telephone numbers to get help so the imprisoned partner can find support to leave, something most victims are reluctant to do despite the escalating danger to them and their children.
I found author Orban’s book a fascinating read that had me quickly turning page after page, reluctant to take a break from what the next "And then it got bad" experience would be. It'll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting was a captivating read that also educated me about the pain and wasted time of a human life caught in the web of domestic abuse. Yet, this story is no pity party; there is much to admire about author Orban's resiliency and gracious acceptance of her life story!
Wine Comes in Six-Packs (Book) - 10/27/2017 11:01:29 AM
I purchased Ms. Orban's novel in search of something humorous to read and she didn't disappoint. When your life seems governed by mishap, children, broken relationships, and idiots, you discover a need to find something humorous in it all, either that or lose your sanity. Well done Ms. Orban! Your novel, although filled with true life, is entertaining. Wine does indeed come in six packs, as well as boxes! This was a good read and well worth the time.
My Final Farewell to my Father (Short Story) - 12/10/2016 9:52:13 AM
Tears in my eyes. I am sure he heard you and so glad you told him all the things you wanted him to hear. The repetitive line of "Today is the day my father will die" was extremely effective in the penning of this piece. Thank you for sharing such a private memory.
My Final Farewell to my Father (Short Story) - 12/9/2016 5:31:14 AM
So touching. Brought a tear to my eye. You certainly had things unsaid that needed to be.
I was 1200 miles from my father during the four months he was in the hospital. I only got to see him once when he couldn't talk because of tubes in his nose and mouth. And there were a lot of other people in the room. My sister, his only daughter, lived nearby. I don't know if she wrote or said anything to him along the lines of forgiveness.
Ron
My Final Farewell to my Father (Short Story) - 12/9/2016 3:03:57 AM
Thank you for sharing this beautiful note you penned which leads me to believe you said a proper good-bye.
My Final Farewell to my Father (Short Story) - 12/8/2016 10:57:07 AM
Touching. I've tried many times to write a significant piece dedicated to my father and failed. To many emotions. You seem to have hit it on the head.
Making a Difference (Short Story) - 11/27/2016 8:03:19 AM
Reading I was moved to tears. It is not often that we meet people like you and when we do it tends to be overwhelming. When I was younger, in normal health, our door was always open to those who needed help, usually teenagers, filled with fear, despair and low self esteem. We had small apartments, but somehow always found enough room for everyone. My oldest son brought people home who needed help or gave out food to families who he knew went hungry.
Two turkeys every Thanksgiving and Christmas, it was the best time of my life! I miss it every day.
Your wonderful story took me back to those days, thank you for that.
Your first foster mother Eula must be very proud of you! In such a short time you took so much from her with you and held on to it.
Really loved the story.
B.
Making a Difference (Short Story) - 11/26/2016 4:06:56 AM
I have read your beautiful story. Eula would be so proud of you for paying her kindness forward many times over.
Making a Difference (Short Story) - 11/24/2016 8:56:04 AM
Ron,
Thank you so much for your kind words. A second bathroom would be wonderful, so maybe I'll look into that. I do know that with so many in need, it's easy to get lost among the many, and we make due with what we have, most of the time. I won't lie and say that it is easy, knowing that so many depend on me, but that doesn't mean it isn't worth it. It's always worth it, even as I'm scrambling to figure out how to make it next month. Every person deserves a chance to get their lives back together, it's not a handout, it's a hand up, and we're all better for it when that happens.
Lisa
Making a Difference (Short Story) - 11/24/2016 8:28:14 AM
So beautifully and wonderfully stated. Like you, I have taken people in. Unlike you, they were mostly students. They became roommates and I didn't charge them any rent. Now, late in life, I have started to help unfortunate people with severe problems, often not of their own undoing.
Thank you so much for what you do. I might suggest that you go to the website, https://www.gofundme.com, and post your story there. I believe you will find that you can probably get enough funding to make in addition to your house including one or two new bathrooms. All you have to do is make the request and then publicize your need through social media like here on Authors Den.
With the new federal government and many state governments spewing hateful rhetoric, I'm afraid more people will be kicked to the gutter instead of helped. We need more people like you in this country.
Ron
