Lost Inspiration (Poetry) - 8/30/2009 5:02:40 PM
The same thing happened to me! Sort of like writers block, but worse.
Imagined-Real (Poetry) - 8/30/2009 5:00:39 PM
You have described depression in a way that takes me where I don't want to go. Emotional piece, Dave. Dark and scary. I think maybe you wrote from experience.
To Sing of His Quest (Poetry) - 8/30/2009 4:55:34 PM
Dave, this one touches me personally. I've been there. Well stated.
Step Aside (Poetry) - 8/30/2009 6:54:52 AM
For me, the first five verses set up the sixth. A work that might fill volumes, yet condensed to 24 lines that lose nothing. If you have looked at most poems on A/D, you know that the majority of us are mentally handicapped and limited to one meter, one rhyme scheme. What a difference to wander among your poems. In this one, I hear something of the old classical masters.
Pained Soul (Poetry) - 8/30/2009 6:47:50 AM
Genious at work! The internal ryhyme is extremely clever.
A Broken Dream (Poetry) - 8/30/2009 6:44:41 AM
That one takes me home, Dave. I remember those days and often want them back. This piece will touch anyone old enough to have lost touch.
One thing. One very small thing. In the line that ends ...with son, I'd add the extra syllable and say "a son," or "his son." I realize you are correct with keeping it at 18 syllables, but I don't think the music would not be lost with that kind of fix. I think a reader would actually have to be counting syllables to find it. Reading that verse aloud, it seems to beg for that added note. Maybe not. I can't write long-line poetry at all. You achieved a great deal by keeping the meter and rhyme consistent within such a lengthy piece, especially considering none of the rhymes are forced, but rather, they add to the meaning, which is an achievement indeed. Well done.
Lost Inspiration (Poetry) - 8/30/2009 4:14:58 AM
WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva
To Dream or Not to Dream (Poetry) - 8/30/2009 4:12:28 AM
VERY BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva
Pained Soul (Poetry) - 8/30/2009 4:10:29 AM
BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva
A Broken Dream (Poetry) - 8/30/2009 4:07:39 AM
VERY NICE!!!!!!!!!!!! I LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva
