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Margo Maris

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A Mammography Report
by Margo Maris
Friday, August 23, 2002



       
Recent stories by Margo Maris
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     MAMMOTH MAMMOGRAPHY CENTER
Deep Canyon Drive...Suites 30-AA to 44-DD...Two Buttes, Colorado
Phone...1-800-GET-FLAT



"We Want To Be Your Main Squeeze"






Dear Ms. Flatly,

The results of your recent mammography examination are as follows:


( ) Unable to read x-ray film due to lack of subject matter.

( ) The possibility exists that your shoulder blades were examined by mistake.

( ) Film was damaged by the carelessness of a technician during a fit of laughter.

( ) The examiner was unable to properly adjust the settings while blindfolded.

( ) The glow that you are currently experiencing might be due to excess radiation.

( ) You failed to hold your breath when required ...(next time, keep in mind that when you are told “hold your breath”, a reply isn’t necessary.)

(*) All of the above.

We suggest that you schedule an appointment at your earliest possible convenience, to have this test repeated.

Sincerely,
Chester Tester
Public Information Director

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Reviewed by zan nordlund 8/17/2003
Had my first "Main Squeeze" recently by a perky little twenty-something blonde at 7AM. She was thrilled to tell me she was "Getting great photos because I had fatty breasts." I told her she should X-Ray the other end. It would give her something to call her mommy about at recess. Suddenly she wasn't so perky....I'm not such a morning person.....Thanks for a fun read!! Regards-Zan

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