It was a dark and stormy night. No it wasn't. But, I had to start this thing somehow. Actually, the weather was pretty fair so I was out tending the grave-like mounds in my back yard. I've got to make sure none of those funny looking bones begin to surface. But mostly, I was doing it because I was bored and couldn't find anything else to do. Of course, there's always work but that's kind of like cold sores on a prostitute. I'd rather stay away from it.
Later on, however, it really did turn into a dark and stormy night and my electricity went out for about four hours. I almost went nuts. There was no t.v., no computer, no games, no lights to read by. I sat in the dark contemplating my doom but I began to ask myself some questions such as, just how entertained do we need to be?
Back when I was young (Noah had a dingy at the time), we got to go to the movies on Saturday and it was something we looked forward to all week. What we saw wasn't Oscar material for the most part but...it was the movies! They were generally those great old "B" westerns and It was a treat. Plus, it was better than the two channels we got on our newly purchased, 12-inch, snowy-screened, black and white television.
Today, I have satellite t.v. with 14 gazillion channels from all over the world and movies as far as the eye can see. And I still surf the thing because I can't seem to find anything that catches my interest. The horror. As my housekeeper, Ding-Chow, is fond of saying, "You one clazy boy." All he had to play with as a child was a noodle. His name was Charlie.
In addition to my mega-channels, I also have Netflix so I get an additional three movies at a time delivered directly to my door. And this doesn't count the scores of movies and other programs on VHS and DVD that I have stashed around the place. And then there's (dare I say it?)...Wii. I've got Wii sports, Wii games, Mario Cart and Guitar Hero just to mention a few. And I get to watch it all on a 60-inch HD television with a sound system that can make my hair stand up like a muppet in a hurricane. Bored?
Oh, we haven't gone upstairs yet. That's where the computers are. Yes, that was plural. My wife and I can individually log on to the world or play enough mind-numbing games to get us through the next millennium.
Need to go to town? I can crawl into my climate controlled, seat-heating, metal canister which also automatically controls the speed, lights, and windshield wipers. It comes with AM, FM and Sirius radio as well as a DVD player in the back. Once in town, I can find malls, movies, golf, tennis, lakes and , my personal favorite, home improvement stores.
"So, what do you want to do today?"
"I don't know. What do you want to do?"
"I think I'll take a nap."
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