How does one decide how to play out there life?

I see that life presents itself in the form of oportunities. Your choice as to what you want to do with this oportunity. I see that Tyler and I have been given a chance at a life, and a not that bad of one either. I know that if he and I put our heads togehter and let everything go for a while, it can change our life. I want that.

I see that I am scared. Out of my very mind. I am scared that things might fall through or that Tyler will lose his job. I am scared that this is the wrong choice.

But then deep down I get this feeling, like that of butterflies. It's telling me to go, nearly calling me nuts if I pass this up. Life is a challenge. You can't run and hide everytime you aren't sure how something is going to turn out. It's about taking a risk. I guess though, it has been 5 years since Tyler and I took a risk, we could be ready for another.

It's been almost 4 months to the day, since this adventure started. Why stop now.

Ft. McMurray, Alberta, has to be as far out there as you can go. The middle of nowhere. Yet, the peace of it and the tranquility is calling me ever so softly.

I need away from everything for a while. This town is holding me back. Everywhere I turn in this town, I am either being misunderstood, talked over, not heard at all, expected to be the one that moves out of the way in the mall......all these little things are killing me out here.

I want to go into a  new place, with a new look. Something I am not used to. I want to smell a new smell and take pictures of things I have never seen before. I want this.

I want Tyler and I to be happy, that more then anything. I guess its the dream....some have it and some don't.

I thought for sure I was doomed to a life of unhappieness, and alcohol, just like my past...with my family. But as I got older, it all seemed to become so clear to me. In order to break a cycle, you must first acknowlege that the cycle is there. This I did.

All though I thought this a bad thing when Tyler first approched me with it, I think that this might be the best decision he and I have ever made.

Let's see what happens.................