This week Studio Reader Stan has been dispatched to once again try to fix socialite Rome Marriott's horrible screenplay.
Studio Reader Stan is in Rome Marriott’s trailer, which is ensconced in pink.
Studio Reader Stan: Mr. Gold has asked me to try to help you fix your script again. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible, but I’ll try.
Rome Marriott: You all should thank me. I’m cutting into my shopping time to do this.
Studio Reader Stan: Your great sacrifice is noted.
Rome Marriott: I don’t know what that means.
Studio Reader Stan: Why don’t we just get started. After people see this movie, what do you want them to think?
Rome Marriott: I want them to think that I’m really smart. Because I am. I just play stupid on TV ‘cause I think it’s funny. I never expected people to believe I was actually stupid.
Studio Reader Stan: Yes, it is hard to fathom that no one’s deciphered the fierce intelligence behind your “stupid-person" act.
Rome Marriott: What does fathom mean?
Studio Reader Stan: Never mind. Why don’t we try to get a sense of your intelligence level, and we’ll work from there… What’s ten percent of 100?
Rome Marriott: Is that math stuff? That doesn’t count as being smart.
Studio Reader Stan: Oh-kay. Why don’t we start a little easier. Who’s the current Vice President of the United States?
Rome Marriott: Is that politics? That’s boring. That doesn’t count either.
Studio Reader Stan: How about you just spell the word “smart,” and we’ll call it a day?
Rome Marriott: Oh, I’ll get that one right. My computer has spell-check.
Studio Reader Stan: All righty. By my count I’ve asked you three questions, two of which a third grader would know, and you didn’t answer any of them. I’m not really sure if highlighting your intelligence is the way to go.
Rome Marriott: You didn’t ask me any of the things that I’m smart about.
Studio Reader Stan: Like what?
Rome Marriott: Like how do you know when your new Prada shoes don’t fit?
Studio Reader Stan: They fall off your feet?
Rome Marriott: Hey, you’re smart, too!
Unable to take any more, Studio Reader Stan leaves, fighting the urge to weep uncontrollably.
Tune in next week for more of Studio Reader Stan's adventures...
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