This week, Studio Reader Stan pays another visit to his literary agent.
Studio Reader Stan enters the office of his agent, Mischa Broom. She’s busy laying out index cards on her desk.
Mischa Broom: Studio Reader Stan, have a seat. I’ll be with you in a minute.
Studio Reader Stan: What are all the index cards for?
Mischa Broom: I’m busy organizing all my excuses.
Studio Reader Stan: Huh?
Mischa Broom: When my clients call wanting to know why I haven’t done something, I usually can’t remember why. So now with these handy cards, I’ll always be prepared with an answer.
Studio Reader Stan: They’re all excuses?
Mischa Broom: Yep. Like card #1. If a writer asks why I haven’t read their script yet, all I do is grab this and read: (Reads) "Oh my God, it was first on my desk, I swear, but then out of the blue, Warner Bros. needed a sci-fi actioner badly, and I had to read all 50 sci-fi actioners I had."
Studio Reader Stan: What if the person who asked the question wrote a sci-fi actioner?
Mischa Broom: Wouldn’t happen. I refuse to sign anyone who writes them.
Studio Reader Stan: Oh-kay... What other cards do you have?
Mischa Broom: Let’s see, card #2 is, “Why I haven’t gotten back to you in three months.” And the answer, drumroll please: (Reads) “I was waiting for so and so to get back to me first, but they kept putting me off. I HATE when they do that to us.” Nice, huh?
Studio Reader Stan: You seem to have put in an awful lot of time on these.
Mischa Broom: Yeah, it’s all I’ve done the last two weeks. Here’s one of my favorites.
She picks up card #3.
Mischa Broom: It’s for if they ask why I haven’t submitted their script like I said I would. And the answer is: (Reads) "Because the copy place I gave your script to had a horrible fire, but thankfully, thankfully – no one was injured."
She looks at Studio Reader Stan, beaming.
Mischa Broom: Who’s gonna complain about their stupid script after learning no one died?
Studio Reader Stan: You seem to have found your true calling.
Mischa Broom: I think so, too... So, anyway, what’s up?
Studio Reader Stan: I just wanted to see if you’d read my last script yet.
Mischa looks sheepish.
Mischa Broom: Gee, I actually forgot you were one of my clients.
She grabs a new card.
Mischa Broom: I’ll need a new one for that... In the meantime, take this.
She hands him excuse card #1.
Tune in next week for more of Studio Reader Stan's adventures...
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