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Sandy Knauer

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He Deserves Better
by Sandy Knauer
Saturday, September 30, 2006

Not rated by the Author.

       
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“Come on. He deserves better.”


“Don’t you think I know that?”


“If you know it, why don’t you let him go?”


She releases her hair, lets it fall over her face, stalls, wants to escape his eyes. He holds the pressure, refuses to smile, obviously expects and answer. “I’ve tried, I’ve done everything possible to push him away.”


“You’re breaking him. He really doesn’t deserve this pain.”


“I really don’t deserve this pain, either.” Was that defensive, or pitiful? She replays, analyzes, can’t decide. “I don’t want to be this way.”


“He loves you too much.”


“I know that.” Defensive. No doubt. Too much live is the problem. What can she do with too much?


“I told him to divorce you.” He loses the attitude. “Sorry. That’s what he needs to do.”


Tears. Always tears when she wants them least. “Don’t be sorry. I tell him the same.”


“Then why do you keep coming back? You confuse him. Give him hope.”


“You really don’t get it.” Screw the tears. She glares back through the steady stream.


Finally, he looks away, sighs, maybe he wants to understand. Why the hell do you keep hurting him?”


“I always think I can do it this time. One more chance and I’ll get it right. But I don’t.”


He comes back with cold eyes. “I don’t like you right now.”


“No problem. I don’t like me right now.”


“You won’t change, will you?”


“Someday. Probably not soon enough to save his broken heart.”


He acts human, places his hands on her shoulders, and pleads with his eyes. “Let him go.”


Her throat closes. She nods.


“Make him hate you so he can move on.”


She closes her eyes, doesn’t care about the tears that continue to pour, nods again.


“Promise?”


She dies inside, whispers, “Promise.”


His hug feels sincere. She walks away, buries her love deeper. She can't handle too much. He deserves better.  


 


 

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Reviewed by Sandy Knauer 10/10/2006
Thank you, Bob, Tinka, and Felix, for your reviews. This was a new exercise in trying to tell as much of the story as I could through dialogue.I published it in another group and it was interesting to see how differently the individuals saw the characters, since I left them pretty much open to reader interpretation.
Reviewed by Bob Holt 10/1/2006
This is really well written. I see self esteem issues here on many levels.

Bob H
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 10/1/2006
Sighh...Sandy this made me cry...and I just have no words to explain my emotions right this momnet!!

To be at that crossroad in life is HARD...I know!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Felix Perry 10/1/2006
This is one heck of a real monologe that tells it like it is in so many relationships in the final stages of death.
One party still clinging to hope and yearning to fix things that cannot be fixed, both unwilling to give up even though it is the best course of action.

Fee

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