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A Little Problem by Tim Hein
Monday, June 18, 2007
Not rated by the Author.
Chicken Little at the Psychiatrist's Office
A wave of rank, musty barnyard air blasted Dr. Byrd each time Ed flapped a wing to emphasize his point. The pleasant lunch aftertaste of his Cajun chicken sandwich was overwhelmed by the stench of manure-soaked hay and moldy corn feed. Holding up a finger, the doctor turned his head, fighting the urge to deposit lunch all over the pride and joy Turkoman rug. Once the urge passed, he swallowed hard and folded his hands on his lap. “I take notes on all my clients to assist in encouraging dialogue at future visits. I apologize for the poor word choice. Please sit down and tell me the source of this danger.”
“The Atkins diet, of course!” he shouted. “That’s the problem with humans, never comprehending consequences. Eat meat, eat meat, eat it to your heart’s content with no repercussions. That quack has endangered the lives of billions with two simple words. How long until I’m next on the menu? Every night I wake up in a puddle of sweat and feathers, screaming, 'Not the beaters! Not the beaters!’ rousing just before I’m scrambled into an omelet. Doesn’t take Freud to interpret that dream. Call me paranoid, but I don’t react well in the face of impending slaughter.”
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