Ever wonder what it's like to work in children's television? Readers of my book find out. Here is the first of two notorious emails sent by "Anesthesia" to the Producers' Group that helped lead to the restructuring of Nickelodeon. Those who have read I KNOW WHY THE ALIENS DON'T LAND! will recognize "SHE" in this email as "Nutsack" in my book, and "THE ASSISTANT" as "Evil Wenchman." See that? I'm not the only one who has fun with psuedonymns!
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Subject: STOP THE RUMORS!!
Some of you malicious !*-#!! (and you know who are) are spreading a nasty rumor that I am calling some producers meeting to get rid of certain members of manegement.
Well I'm here to tell you to FUCK OFF!.
I'm not involved in any meeting and if any of you are spreading rumors about me in relation to this meeting STOP IT NOW! [2 accused names withheld. Readers of my book will know one as "Demon."]
If I even hear my name associated with any such bullshit I will find the person spreading that rumor and haul them BY THE ASS into you know who's office where I will then feed them to her. When SHE is done I will take the leftover bones and feed them to THE ASSISTANT. Once that is done I will throw a party where all my friends will throw darts at your photo.
So leave my name out of it. If you have problems go to Human Resources!
And don't even reply to this email because it will just piss me off.
