THIS IS A DIARY OF MY AUTISTIC SON'S LIFE
On the day of August 28, 1987, it was my moment of great expectations. I was going into labor with my oldest son. I couldn't hardly wait to have him finally come into the world. At that time, my husband and I were so in love. We were an "even yolk," as some would say. He and I were like “two peas in a pot.” We were excited to have our moment of precious joy.
Finally, my moment was approaching and it was very exhausting and exciting at the same time. During labor, I wanted to "shout," "cry," or "just say, God all mighty, would you please blast this great bundle of joy out of my stomach." Of course, by this being my first child, I was emotional and full of dangerous claws. My husband was for a rude awakening, that I'm sure; he was not ready to experience.
I became someone that he never knew during this glorious moment in the hospital. I couldn't help but to claw my nails into his hands and speak out clearly and loudly by saying, "I want this kid to hurry up."
It was about 5:25 p.m. when our bundle of joy was born, 6 pds. and 8 oz. He looked so sweet, quiet, and precious. We almost thought that he wasn't alive. I thought to myself, at that time that this kid couldn't have been what was in my stomach. This child ripped me apart and came out as an angel. Well, that was my moment.
In the hospital, Aeric was one of the favorites that the nurses wouldn't put down. They would compliment him on how quiet and ready for the world he was. His eyes were wide open and tried to look at everything that came close to him.
In the meantime, I was tired and worn out. As for my husband, he was recovering from his wounded hands and shocking moment...
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NEXT: 3 DAYS LATER, GOING HOME WITH OUR NEWBORN…
After being in the hospital for 3 days, we finally arrived home. What an adventure, we both had with our favorite “bundle of joy” riding home with us.
My neighbor was waiting for us to arrive and she could hardly wait to see our newborn boy. He was bright-eyed and alert for what was to come. On this particular day, we were exhausted and after my neighbor and I talked for a while, she left for us to get some "shut-eye."
Since then, we said to ourselves, "This is going to be a piece of cake." Knowing that the nurses informed us in the hospital that he only cries when he needs to be fed and changed. Oh, this was music to our ears... So, we decided to put our new baby in his prepared room with his very nice basinet. He looked so peaceful and we were feeling that…
I think it was about 2 hours and some minutes later; my husband woke me up and said, “I hear something." Of course, I desperately wanted to go back to sleep. So, I told him that maybe he should check on the baby and come back to bed. He acknowledged it and said, "Okay, you're right." Therefore, I went back to sleep.
Next, it was about an hour later, my husband woke me up and said, "You need to change him." I told him that I was sleeping real well and that maybe he should change him." He said, "Okay, I can do that, go back to sleep." Of course, I went back to sleep.
Next, it was about 10 minutes later and my husband said, "You should change him." I woke with this great voice and huge presence over me, and of course, I am very exhausted and somewhat dizzy from my sleep. I woke up jumping out of bed by saying, “What happened now.” He said, "The baby is still crying and he needs you." A moment later, my husband fell asleep in the chair next to the bed.
Okay…I was cool, so I acknowledged it and went over to the basinet where the baby was crying to found out that he lost his bottle in between the matrices of the bed. Therefore, I thought to myself after giving the bottle back to our baby, maybe he needs changing. I turned my baby over to check and nothing was needed. Well, alright...now I can go back sleep, myself.
Later within 5 minutes, I shockingly discovered that I couldn't sleep...
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NEXT: CONTINUATION ON OUR GREAT DISCOVERY OF OUR SON'S SLEEPING HABITS AS HE GETS OLDER…
Since then, my son is about four months old; he is now asking to go to sleep with his teddy bear, Winnie-the-Pooh. We are starting to see some peculiar habits. But we think that it is just a phase. He is sucking on the nose of this teddy bear. We are wondering if the cause of this reaction comes from us taking the bottle from him every night. My husband and I did not want him to become fat. Therefore, we started taking his bottle away at night and substituting it with a pacifier.
I told my husband at the time that our baby-boy is starting to become irritable and screaming for attention. He started putting him down more and not picking him up as he cries. I told him that Winnie-the-Pooh bear is really too much for him right now. The stuffed animal is getting soaked everyday of the week. Also, the dye on the bear is changing colors and I have to get rid of it. Later, I bought another one. But, I took it out of his bed every night. We had to come up with another method. He is still sucking on the nose of the stuffed animal.
I told my dad what was happening, and he said that we are spoiling him and need to keep the bear away from him at night. Therefore, I took his advice and gave the bear to my son only in the day. But, my son started sucking on his nose even more. Soon, we had to totally take it away.
Days had lapsed and my son would cry for his bear. Later, we replaced the pacifier and bear with another toy. We replaced these items with teething toys. For the moment, my son seemed to like this exchange and things seemed to have gone back to normal.
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NEXT: DOCTOR VISITS AND THEIR REPORTS…
The first experience, as an infant with the doctor was very pleasant. My son did not like the shots, but would take a nap after we arrive home.
Other visits to follow as he had gotten older, he was very fitful. During his stage of 4 months old, he would fight the nurses and doctors that would be assisting his visits. I had to hold him constantly to for the doctors to apply his baby shots. He would cry and scream and I was crying, as well. But, sooner or later, he was fine.
One day when we visited the doctor within his six months of age, the doctor examined my son's doctor movements by surprise. He informed that my son needed more tests, but he detects that my son's motor skills were abnormal. Of course, I blew this off and thought that my child didn't like shots and was over sensitive.
On another day before he was twelve months old, the same doctor informed again that my son is not developing normal. At that time, my husband and I were worried. His potty training became extremely hard for him to grasp and he learned to walk late.
My husband and I decided to get different types of learning toys and methods that applied towards my son’s development.
We were still in denial somewhat and would not go to visit the neurologist that the doctor referred. It was quite difficult to swallow that our child might have physical or some learning disorders.
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NEXT: MY HUSBAND'S FEARS AND HIS FEELINGS ABOUT OUR SON…
My husband and I were very afraid of the outcome of our son. We were not sure if we understood what was being brought before us.
Since my husband and I were still in denial, I decided to look up helping tools and schools that would help to make us understand even further. During my research, I found a facility, by the name of Hanna Perkins Center (child development). The place was connected to University Hospitals, located in Ohio. I scheduled an appointment with a specialist. They seemed quite friendly and informative to speak with us.
During our visit, the first thing that my husband and I were told from our counselor was that a child that possibly has ADD or autism can lead to quite an enormous change in our lives. We were told that many couples divorce during the process. The main reason of a divorce between couples with this type of child, the male feels inferior. He feels helpless and somewhat, blames himself for his child's disorder. He doesn't want to talk about his fears. As for the wife, she takes on the fears of her husband, without knowing and becomes very frustrated with the situation. Therefore, as a result, the family lacks in communication.
Of course, by this being our second year in marriage at that time, my husband thought that this was a myth. He felt that we were so much in love and it would not have an effect on our marriage. Of course, this was his thoughts at that particular time...(We were divorced after 10 years.)
