In this story, Phydoux brings us up to date on politics through a dog's eyes.
Question: We would like to know about your political beliefs.
Oh, we are very political. We notice that the presidents have their pets. Clinton had Buddy. I’m so sorry he met with that car and ended his life. I’m talking about Buddy. Even though the elder Bush had a cat, we dogs are fond of the Bushes. That really helps when the fire hydrants are far apart.
We watch congress pretty close. You know there is even a Boxer and Byrd in the Senate! There’s a Doggett in the House and there’s also a Foxx (not really a dog, but a cousin). We like to watch the congress on C-Span. What a concentration of people who are a lot like dogs. Just watch them. They bark at each other but they do it politely. Can you imagine dogs in congress. The gavel would be a bone. A dog would preside. He would say, “Who requests the floor?” It would take a long time for an answer because we would prefer the sofa. Finally one dog would bark and the presider would say, “Yes, the gentledog from Iowa.” Wouldn’t that be cool?
The gentledog from Iowas would speak. “I would like to propose a bill that would take all pork out of the legislation. Let’s see that the pork all goes into our dog food. I really hate to beef about this, but we have been getting too much cereal in our meals. We have to get serious with the dog food companies. We may even have to lead a puppycot if they continue to get us inferior products.”
The dog from New York would get the floor and say: “I would like to amend the motion to include our health care. Medicine and Vets are getting more expensive and we need help. I would like to amend the motion to include Petacare. I was going to have dogacare but we need to be inclusive of all the pets of the world.
Given time, we can have a dog elected president. There are good candidates on the horizon but perhaps you haven’t heard of them. There’s ol’ Woof and Weady Woosevelt. I think he is trying to gather a Bulldog Moose party. I don’t know how well he is doing.
Campaigning could be a problem. If we bought a bus to travel on, we’d have a constant urge to lift our leg at the tires each time we got off the bus. If we used a train for a whistle stop tour – that would drive us crazy. We would shine at kissing babies and we’d have to be sure we learned to “shake.”
Another potential problem could arise if a male dog was elected president. You humans refer to the president’s wife as the “first lady.” Think about it!
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Reviewed by chris stienstra
9/13/2007
And I thought Underdog was cool! Phydoux has become my literary superhero. Larry, these are absolutely the greatest! I can't tell you the last time I have laughed this much.....thank you for that!
With my best regards,
Chris
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