Summer in Ourense

            My uncle Leopoldo and my aunt Maruja had told me already they would take me with them for a time in Summer.

            Last day at the school I run to my house very happy with my qualifications. My mother said to me she was very proud of me and she gave me 8 pesetas in 1 peseta coins and I went to see the gang and to the ones who were there I invited to fried potatoes and refreshments, licorice, chewing gum and sweets. And some days after my parents took me to my uncle’s house. We dined and went to bed soon because we were leaving from Madrid to Ourense soon too. My cousin Darío would be following the same route but in another car with his wife, Pilar. We were going in my uncle’s car. As soon as the car started I said to them I had to tell them something that I was sure it would take them aback. I was dying to tell it, almost especially to them and at that moment. What's it?, asked my uncle. I told them how it was Pablo's and I excursion to Plaza de Oriente on 18 July, it had been only a few days ago. Bus, guns, walking on Arenal Street, Pablo started to shoot and bodies were falling down and we were laughing much, when we came to Plaza de Ópera and went straight to the Alley that goes into Plaza de Oriente, we had already started to shoot in the Alley, there was a stir among the attendants, it made us laugh much more and we shot, many bodies fell down, we later calculated we had killed 10 or 12, Franco's voice from the balcony from where he was giving the speech hesitated, began to stutter, and Pablo to shout: Stutt, stutt, stutt! Stutter, stutter, stutter! My uncle and my aunt were very surprised, and I was flattered that my uncle asked me Did you really do that?, that I said excitedly: I swear! I said to them after a silence that Pueblo newspaper had given the news saying there had been only two people dead. Almost intenionally I had become to them an accomplice of a very important secret. I said later it had been vindicated by FRAP and I was maximum responsible of FRAP. This made us be pensive a good part of the journey. My uncle and my aunt were I would say very admired, on knowing what Pablo and I had done being only ten, and I their nephew. I could feel how proud they were of me. I knew I had not finished. I had taken it with me in a hidden place of my brain and it was a perfect moment. I could not contain myself and told them about the man my father and I had killed in the kitchen of our house in the village and about the another my mother and I had killed inside a lorry in the village as well. I gave them all the details about the two murders. They were very attentive in complete silence. I was enjoying it myself a lot telling them. They only asked me twice Was it so? One thing more, I said to them. What?, asked my uncle Leopoldo. I told them my grandfather, my uncle's and my mother's father, had said to me while walking down together in the village I would some day see him in the future. Leopoldo and Maruja were in silence, expecting me to say something more. I had asked my grandfather Modesto Where?, and he had responded to me On a film. After this neither of them put in to me no question and we went on on our journey keeping silence for more than twenty minutes.

            I don’t remember other details of the journey, but I am sure we talked about literature and cinema and television programs, and I am also sure they asked me many questions, my aunt Maruja above all. At about five we arrived in Xinzo de Limia, and although I don’t remember the facts exactly I finally stayed at my great-grandfather’s house, whose name was Leopoldo Álvarez, same as his grandson, my uncle.

            In the house lived two my grandfather's sisters, Maruja, another Maruja, and Matilde, who treated me tenderly and had many attentions with me. I remember especially from those days the television programs I used to watch with my aunts, there were some of which I remember still details: A scene of a chase machine-guns in hand in an underground station of the series Eliot Ness and The Untouchables, and how not, many of my favourite personage, my big friend Felix the Cat. I spent some days laughing a lot with my cousin Acacio. We used to sit on a bench and doing as if we were talking to ourselves I asked him why we didn’t go to bathe in the swimming pool at his place, so that all the girls waiting at the bus stop could hear us. Until I had to stop saying that and explain that it was a joke, Acacio hadn't got a swimming pool. One day Acacio burned a big lot of newspapers sheets that there were in an unused room at my great-grandfather's house basement and I was so scared I went to my aunts running to tell them there was a fire, they asked me what had happened and I said to them I was with Acacio, that I didn’t know, that there was a fire, I said to them very frightened. If Acacio is downstairs, sure he will know what must be done, they said to me. Playing in the spot in Xinzo de Limia between my great-grandfather’s house and his son Modesto’s house, my mother’s father, both signed with a cross announcing a house of the Lord, Acacio had taken me to see the Cross at my grandfather's Modesto (they are only 20 meters distant) and he asked me if I knew who the man crucified was; I responded to him yes indeed, yes I knew, he was Jesus Christ. And where is he now? Acacio asked me. I said to him he had died crucified and it was supposed he had resurrected. Acacio glanced at me smiling and said: Of course, you know. Don’t you? What? I asked. That Jesus Christ never dies, he said.

            One day my uncle and my aunt picked me up and took me to Baños de Molgas, Ourense’s village where there is a Spa and hot Springs. My uncle and my aunt’s house had been a small spa-hotel and the grounds of the house touched the river margin, at one side of the bridge, a big Spa at the other. My uncle Leopoldo was attorney technical inspector of the state; that is he worked for the Ministry of Treasury and had a privileged position. In Madrid he lived in Salamanca’s quarter in a neighbour's house of notable architecture from where one day I went there with my father I came out weeping and telling my father I was not envious of a house like my uncle’s. I remember tears in my eyes and my father was calming me down with persuasive voice, venturing me a future in which I would be able to carry out great deeds with no money, without anything. I had stopped weeping and my father was taking me by the hand, we went walking ahead to the underground station to come back home. I had remained thinking about what my father had told me, and when my weeping had passed already and I was smiling, I saw how over the houses in front of us an impossible rain fell down without clouds in the sky, and I thought: The rain falling over the houses are the tears I have wept a moment ago.

            The house in Baños de Molgas was, like I have already said, a small spa-hotel and when we arrived my aunt introduced to me two women and showed me the rooms’ doors, which had a number on them yet, and pointed out to me two rooms where there would always be someone. I was destined a small room beside the entrance door, where I did spend a lot of time watching Felix the Cat on television, for my uncle and my aunt had in this room an apparatus not massively known by then, a video, and one of the women had taught me to put on films, and how lucky, there were many Felix the Cat’s, for sure my cousin Darío’s, to whom the prodigious Felix should delight too. Once I heard my aunt asking the women why I was laughing so much and one of them responded Poldiño was with his friend. Who is his friend? asked my aunt and I said aloud from my room: Felix! Felix the Cat! Felix the Cat, the unique-unique cat! My big friend, aunt!

           I introduced myself to a village’s gang members. We were at a sloped street from where the bridge and the river, the spa and my uncle’s could be seen. They were very sane boys my age to whom I pattered in Galician. Someone proposed a race down to the bridge. One of them was shoeless. I asked him why he didn’t wear shoes although I saw he dressed poorly. He told me he hadn’t got shoes because his parents hadn’t got money. Well then, we run the race and unexpectedly the shoeless boy won. After playing I went to my uncle’s to dine and when we were dining my aunt Maruja told me she would give money to the boy for him to buy a pair of shoes. I thought as to myself: Felix waiting for me before sleeping and this boy perhaps still up at the slope, I have the solution, if not today, tomorrow. I told my aunt why we didn’t go to see if the gang members were up at the slope yet. There they were, and there was the boy without shoes. My aunt told me she was going to give me the money, I told her to please give him the money herself, and went away running up to the slope. I told the boy my aunt would give him money to buy a pair of shoes. The boy came with me along down to the house’s hall and my aunt gave him the money and a kiss. And I had a big time with my friend Felix the Cat.

         My uncle Leopoldo spent much time at the big Spa because he had been recommended Springs hot baths for his health. One day I went to see him at the Spa, I don’t know if I went with someone, for the image I keep in mind was I pummelling the piano and the clerk asking: Who is playing the piano? I responded at once: Nobody, that’s clear! How do you say you are not? he insisted. I’m not playing the piano, I’m pummelling it, I said. Who is this boy? asked the clerk to a waiter: Don Leopoldo’s nephew, said the waiter. I smiled openly still seated at the piano. They told me I had to go upstairs if I wanted to see my uncle, and wanting to, I went upstairs to see him. He had smoked a cigarette hidden in the bathroom the day I slept at his house in Madrid, half at night and another half in the morning. He had been a big smoker and they had forbidden him to smoke. I remember that he was naked lying inside a big bathtub and that we were speaking and laughing for a time, I told him about the piano downstairs.

         Another day I learned to swim. I went to a swimming pool where there was a girl more age than me to whom we called Chicha, and I suppose she was Darío’s or Pilar’s cousin. Well, the case is cousin Chicha held my trunk while I tried to swim and that was how with help I knew I may do it alone. And another day I visited with a relative of my uncle and my aunt the hives which there were not far from the house. After visiting the hives this man, who was talking to me as though we both were adults, showed me a gun in view of an abandoned construction with windows. He asked me if I had ever shot, I told him I had not. He handed me the gun and said to me: Point out a window and shoot. But I will make a lot of noise and the people in the village may get scared, I alleged. Don’t worry, man, he said. Look, point out to that window in front of you and shoot. I pointed out and shot. The window’s glass broke up in a loud crush. Again, come on, again, he said to me. Shoot twice this time, he cheered me up. And I shot twice to the window and I was so skilful I had already made a bullet's hole in the window for a second bullet and only a metallic noise was heard with the impact.

            One of those days we went to Portugal, distant only a few minutes from Baños de Molgas, to Bragança or very near to Bragança, my uncle, my aunt and me, in my uncle’s car. During our journey we held up interesting conversations and I was delighted they spoke to me tenderly and at the same time as though I was an adult. My aunt Maruja said as it were we were going to visit a very heavy people, the Coelho of Portugal, aspirants of Portugal’s throne, who were thirsty of richnesses. In the streets of the villages of Portugal there were beggars, the Portuguese people was oppressed by a fascist dictatorship very cruel, like that of Spain. When we arrived at Coelho of Portugal’s house someone saw the car and came to us repeating: Don Leopoldo, don Leopoldo, don Leopoldo, in a very flattering way. My uncle got off the car, my aunt remained seated on the front's seat and I at the back, and the flatterer accompanied my uncle towards the entrance stairs and a woman and a man came out from the house to greet him. My aunt asked me if I liked the house. I glanced at it more carefully and answered I did not. What about the lions? What’s your opinion about these lions? To me, aunt, they seem very-very... very-very..., and the word didn’t come up. They are shit, said my aunt. Pure shit, she added. Better not to come into the house, I said. Don’t worry, I won’t lose a minute, you will see how the flatterer comes to take us for a drive, said my aunt. Don’t you get off the car, doña Maruja? the flatterer actually. No, no, thanks, I am not interested in money affairs, said my aunt. Well, doña Maruja, don’t get angry. Do you allow me to do as chauffer and take you to the estate? Well, said my aunt, better to go for a drive than stand not doing anything. The flatterer took his seat at the steering-wheel and asked at once who I was. My aunt told him about the relation and also that I was very intelligent. I noticed it had bothered the driver because of a suspicious movement. Our entire valley can be seen from the cliff, he said. In reality we don’t have money problems, we welcome don Leopoldo with much respect. I wanted to say to him they did certainly have money problems, because he would not have made any mention. I had to say it; I was dying of necessity to say it at that moment: I know the word now, I said. Which word? asked my aunt turning around a little in her front seat. Ostentatious, I said. My aunt chuckled and the flatterer made a grin of dislike. Then I said laughing: The lions are very-very ostentatious. My aunt couldn’t help laughing either. And I said to myself very happy: I will make her enjoy this, now is the moment, and said looking at her: They are shit, like you say, pure shit. My aunt did a convulsive movement and for a moment we both laughed at how bad we were. How well my aunt and I could see the Portuguese was in a tight when we arrived to a kind of precipice from where a wide valley could be seen, because we knew he was annoyed but in need to get along one way or another. We got off the car. My aunt went with the Portuguese up to where the ground finished and this started to make grand gestures as though taking everything in. My aunt stared at the valley and like wanting me to see it too looked at me and told me to come nearer. I came nearer to them and my aunt placed me behind the Portuguese, who saw him interrupted and made a grin of fastidiousness, but he kept on looking at the valley arrogantly and began to discourse again as though taking everything in. Suddenly my aunt put my hand on the back of the possessor of the valley and we pushed him onwards. We saw him no more. He fell down the precipice. My aunt and I burst out laughing. I didn’t expect such a thing to happen, but there my aunt and I were laughing at such an extraordinarily funny event which made us accomplices. My aunt and I got on the car, my aunt at the steering-wheel and I at the back and I remember no more.

            Next day we went to the church in Baños de Molgas, my aunt and I walking from home. My aunt was happy. I took advantage of it to ask her: Does uncle Leopoldo know what happened yesterday? Of course he knows, she responded. I tell your uncle everything. I smiled very happy and feeling kind of powerful and center of some peoples' attention. On coming up the wide echelons to the church we saw a toad. At same time I saw it, it appeared at another place in the section of the stairs. I asked my aunt if she had seen that. My aunt asked me: What? I said that at same time the toad was in a place it appeared in another. No, she said to me, it is not possible. Besides, toads can do very quickly movements. But it is not possible, aunt, I didn’t see it follow no trajectory. Look now, that and that, look, look, you cannot not see it, aunt. Well, Poldo, perhaps they appear and disappear because a powerful mind works the miracle. I kept to myself my aunt could not cheat me, that it was her who played with toads' movements and entered the church suspecting it would not occur to my aunt to pass by the confessionary because of the day before, and I realized what happened the day before made us accomplices both and my uncle Leopoldo too. We placed ourselves at the benches and my aunt pointed out to me the glassed walls with the image of Jesus Christ. My aunt asked me if I saw well the outlines of Jesus Christ drawing on the glass. I told her I did, of course. She said to me in a whisper: Would you like to be like him? To be adored for good and wise and all the world may see with their eyes the wonders you make? Remember what I’m saying, she said later, if you want to, you can, and you want, and she made me a gesture to keep silence.

            With my cousin Darío and his wife Pilar I didn’t meet often, but they left me an indelible remembrance when they appeared gripped by the arm in the grounds beside the river, Pilar with red flowers in her hands, being I seated on a chair under the porch beside a table, and Pilar was taking out petals of her red flowers from Darío’s opened trousers zip. She said: What is the child going to think? This is, said Darío laughing and kissing his wife, not to be forgotten just like that. And they came closer to me and Darío said: What a beauty your cousin is, isn’t she, Poldo? Yes, true , Pilar is a beauty, I said doing a gesture of convincement, and the three of us burst out laughing. In our way back to Madrid we three talked about many things, but I didn't say anything about the triangle of knowledge and complicity between us in the murder of the aspirant. I thought I should keep it secret, not to involve my uncle and my aunt, not even sharing it with my uncle. My aunt Maruja asked me if I had enjoyed it during Summer. I told them everything I had done during Summer, in Xinzo de Limia and in Baños de Molgas. I had taken for granted I should not speak about the murder, but to my great surprise I saw my uncle driving expectant to hear something interesting when I was telling them about the lions. Next was the precipice. I realized at that moment. They wanted me to say I was the killer of the aspirant. What a host he must have won!, I said. We three were laughing. What I told them after the laughter for the host's sake had not been shared ever with nobody, not even with any member of my family except with my father when it happened. Do you want to know my most inner secret?, I asked them. What's it?, asked my uncle. Let us see, said my aunt. Well, I began my tale, my father took me to some place near to the village where there were a steamrolller and a donkey. My father got on the machine and I saw how he smashed a newborn baby I hadn't seen before. The donkey started to laugh so much on seeing it he was suffocating and moving his head upwards and downwards and was almost drowning. Leopoldo and Maruja chuckled like not being able to help it. I went on with my tale. We went to a cafeteria or lounge where there were two men.and my father and I seated at their table. The two men were nervous. Then someone came in and he told the two men the newborn baby had been smashed with a steamroller and was dead. How could it have happened?, asked one of the two men. I don't know, replied the man who was telling, when I got there there were only the newborn baby, the steamroller and a donkey. I wished to hug the man but I realized at once I shouldn't. My father said: Don't t say any more, and the donkey is the only witness. Later my father told me how were things. No one of the two presumed fathers of the newborn baby was his real father and they were thinking one of the two was. The woman mother of the newborn baby had been filmed when she gave birth. Who do you think she is?, my father asked to me. I said I didn't know. Do you remember I told you Spain is a fascist dictatorship and one such Franco is the dictator? Yes, I remember, dad. Well..., my father told me, she's Franco's granddaughter, Poldo... Hahahahaha, my father laughed in a good mood... Imagine that woman, Poldo! How she will be drowned!

         And that's all, I said. I had finished my tale. Maruja was smiling. Leopoldo said to me: You should not tell this to nobody. It's very important you don't. Do you realize what it means? We were seeing each other through the rear-view mirror. Yes, said he looking at me with assurance, you are an intelligent boy and you know you don't have to. After Leopoldo said this to me we kept silence until we got to my parents house in Madrid.