Just because I happen to be a rather large woman in my 40s, DON'T assume that I am, in any way, sloppy, lazy, or a glutton whose only desire in life is food.
I happen to be a very "all-together " black female who has ALWAYS been on the large side; in fact, I remember as a child as being bigger than average. I was never forced to go onto a diet to lose weight; my mama knew I was a good eater, ands she never put me down or told me to lose the weight.
As I got older, the heavier I got. By the time I was 16/17, I probably weighed close to 200 pounds. Yet did my being fat bother me? N-O. I had tons of friends, I spent a lot of time taking the dog for a walk (the dog has since died; I've now since gotten a cat), and I enjoyed going out and going to the Broadway plays and shows with my mother and with my friends.
I am now 44, and I weigh 245 pounds. I am quite a bit bigger than I was when I was younger, but I think that is partly due to the stress I've felt since last September, when America was cruelly attacked by the terrorists, and, as a result, I lost my job
(I worked at the World Trade Center, and out of my 14 co-workers, 11 died; the only ones who survived were my boss--and he was burned in the attack; he is still in the hospital recovering from his burns as I write this--, my co-worker, Wendie, and myself--and I ended up losing my leg due to a severe bacterial infection that nearly cost me my life), not to mention, my leg, as I just mentioned above. I also lost my 11 co-workers, as I just said. I have since been undergoing extensive psychotherapy to help me deal with the trauma; and I am SLOWLY getting better; but I'll probably always have problems dealing with what happened that awful, incredible, unforgettable day.
I have since fully recovered from my bacterial illness, but I now use crutches to get around; and my MS has gotten worse, too, since the September 11 terrorist attacks. I have been using my wheelchair quite a lot as of late, and my vision has been blurring worse than ever. (I have had MS for nearly 21 years now.)
But despite the tragedies I have experienced the past year I am FINALLY starting to get my life together. I am back in my beloved New York City (but I MUST admit that, without the Twin Towers gracing the city skyline, I get a lump in my throat, a pain in my chest, and tears in my eyes each time I think of what those terroristic b-------- did. I have felt incredible sadness, and I have felt incredible anger towards those who did this horrific deed.
But I DO have a piece of good news to share with y'all. I am now OFFICIALLY ENGAGED!! Yes, I am going to get MARRIED!! I have fallen in love with Franklin Jefferson, who I met while I was in the hospital while I was in Nashville, Tennessee, where he lives and works. He is an incredible dancer, and he is large, too, like me. He is an ex-football player, and he is a BIG DUDE!! He is also passionate about his patients, and he is very good at his job. He is also a dynamite cook and knows how to cook all of my favorite things.
Think I'll keep him...
Like a lot of fat people I sometimes wonder if I need to go on a diet, but then I hear of how dangerous diets are, and I think, Naaa. No need. I'm happy just being me and the way I am. I may have an obvious physical handicap, but I haven't let it stop me! I still do the things I love most, although right now, since losing my leg last year, I now need a LITTLE extra help in the form of my wheelchair or my crutches. Oh, by the way, in case anyone tries to bother me, I'll just give them a good whack with my crutch! (Smile.) Then they'll think TWICE than to bother me ever again!!
And despite being fat, I am NOT lazy. I have been very busy looking for work (but haven't had any luck; still, I remain hopeful). I exercise daily and go swimming at the local pool three times a week to help my body and my attitude. I eat anything I want; I just do it in moderation. In other words, I DON'T overdo and make a glutton of myself. I eat rather sensibly.
And I am NOT stupid. I happen to be very smart. And talented. I am NOT bragging, mind you..I'm just telling you the honest-to-God truth!!
In fact, this fat chick is IN CONTROL of her destiny. And right now her destiny couldn't look any better.....
