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Richard J Kallao

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     original

 Blue was the nick name of our submarine
since it could go deeper in the water then
any previous mentioned before.

Even the one commanded by Captain Bre
while he was currently commanding in the
area known as the Bermuda Triangle we'd
were heading North,up to the north polar ice
cap, activity was rather high as far as the
ice was there concerned was the fact sheet
after sheet of ice was breaking away because
from both the South and North Polar regions
for unknown reasons it was getting hotter as
in around those regions and no one knew why.
 

But with Blue we could go as far down too the
bottom of the seas and no one could find us in
fact Blue even had Stealth able to hide from any
sonar or radar detections at all. 
 

Blue could do well with speeds to,nothing could
keep up with it, a crew of fifty manned her and in
fact the Captain was the only female commander
ever too command a sub she had ten years in the
Navy,then five behind the desk,which lead her too
rejoin the service .

Her name was Captain Jayne Palmer . She had
commanded Blue, And now both were heading in
to danger and possibly threats unlike either faced
before ' Ahead full,' ordered Captain Palmer .She
focussed her thoughts ahead on what could in fact
possibly await them ,Jayne knew this too. 

Ahead as Blue sped toward their fate the threats in
fact waited for the submarine and her crew now too.
 
Jayne thought she saw it all, even being the first and
only female to command a sub and given all the heck
she had to take getting here .
 

Training for a submarine command she remembered
was far different then a plane or ship, Jayne cringed at
thought of what tests she had to do and exams before
she finally was deemed fit too command a submarine
especially one like Blue .

I wish I had kept my mouth shut and been a lawyer like
my family wanted to a writer too for that matter,both in
fact paid well. And yet I was happy here being a Captain
of a sumbarine,not a well known one or a sub anyone in
fact knew by name,not yet anyway .

Then is not until I got done with her.We headed now in
the direction to where unusual activity was taking place.
Most unusual indeed but no one knew what they were .

I was hoping for a little excitement,my family craved it
we were all adventurers at heart.

I was twenty five still young as far as being in command
was concerned I needed some veteran time in me I was
told by my second in command, a hearty lad,young too,
In fact my crew had no one over thirty .

The only person I knew over thirty was our boss General
Tad S Weston,he was in charge of the submarine fleet of
the Navy and mainly this one Blue,in fact if I remembered
right General Weston, and several others designed and in
fact built Blue .I saw the expression of the General,he was
rather pleased himself as far as the submarine fleet was in
fact concerned with .


I felt like a fish out of water that didn't know her way around
they had placed a veteran crew under this green horn's first
command and I was too learn how to swim immediately or
drown, boy did I learn fast as they say .

' Sonar is picking up an unusual disturbance ahead,' said
lieutenant Smith as he reported to me,' Captain its an  und-
erwater typhoon we cant manuver around it its to big .' 

'; All right, all hands brace for impact,steady as she goes .'

I held my breath and waited just like anyone on the sub was
doing, but my concern was deeper,not only I had responsbi-
lity of these men, but the most advance piece of machine was
in my hands I was responsible for it . 

So full steam ahead and let the bull hit the fan .She loved it
she would not trade her life for anything she worked damn to
hard for this . 

Jayne knew everything she done would be worth it .Everything.

' Entering typhoon here we go,' cried sonar operator as it still
indicated there was something out there yet just by seeing it
or looking at it, there was nothing there .

Jayne took a deep breath she knew how tough her husband
always acted but he behaved like a baby when he knew she
was leaving .She was married three years before getting the
command of Blue, he was a pilot for the local airport they had
which wasn't big that's why he was one of ten piloys working
there too. She learned most everything she knew from him .

Her husband was in the service as well they were an elite a
group of men called the Special Armed Services and Special
Black Ops team or the SASSBO. And she wanted to joined the
team with him but couldn't pass their tests you needed to get
through . They were the baddest of the bad .



 

 

too be continued.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Reviewed by Lee Garrett 8/11/2014
This all narrative intrusion that reads like a school report: "What I Did Last Summer" kind of stuff. It could equally be a story treatment or pitch. The problem is there's no illusion of reality to sink into because there's no P.O.V writing. Point Of View writing kicks in when we are inside the head of a character, touching those thoughts, using their senses to understand. To make this a real story, we need to have a mental image of the main character, the setting: what does the inside of the sub actually look like? What are the smells, the sounds? P.O.V. writing is about "showing" a story, not "telling" about it. This reads more like a data dump, or the back-story research a writer does before writing. I think this might be a good story once the reader is given a character to become intimately bonded to. I look forward to seeing what might become of this.

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