False Hope

I sit in my car in the darkness in front of her house. Waiting, waiting, waiting – what would I tell him, what would I demand of him, would I plead with him? Where were they? With every minute that passed I could feel the anger stirring up within me. What right does a man have to give false hope?

The minutes added up to hours when finally I saw the truck lights coming toward me. My heart raced, I gathered every bit of courage I had. I saw her face in the passenger seat, she was scared, after all what I was doing had psycho written all over it. He parked, got out of the truck, opened her door and she quickly ran into her house. I got out of my car as he walked toward me. I was determined that he would be leaving with me.

His voice was deep, stern, mean as he spoke “what are you doing here!” He caught me off guard. What did he mean “what was I doing here” I was here for him. He demanded that I leave. Then I broke. “I cried, I pleaded no, no! Why are you doing this! Please come home with me, please, please, I beg you.” How could he be so cold. Last night I was in his arms our bodies entangled together, our lips locked in passion, but tonight I was a stranger in his eyes. Who was this man that stood before me emotionally detached. He turned and walked toward her house. He left me standing alone in my tears. He is no longer mine.

My whole world is crashing around me and there is no escape from the sorrow that has consumed me. For never have I felt such a thing. It was as if my soul was awakened by the torment that pierced my body from the inside. After a tumultuous relationship it's no wonder that the road has lead to such destruction. What power did he have over me that I could not walk away. My heart is raw and with every thrust of the sword penetrating my soul I cry out in agony. It will not release me. My soul is it's prisoner. I do not have the power to stop loving him.

I am awakened by the gentle familiar voice that whispers my name. I dare not open my eyes; if this is a dream then this is where I'll stay. I lay still in my bed yearning for his touch, and at last my pain is silent as I feel his body next to mine. He begins to run his tongue along the outline of my lips. My body trembles hungry for more. I feel him come alive as he presses against me, a deep sigh escapes his throat. My body arches as he begins to ravish me. Oh, he feels so good. I savor every moment of the passion that has set us on fire.

He holds me silently and for the moment I feel secure. For this moment everything is as it should be. The love of my life has come back. Suddenly my body jerks as I feel the pain consume me once again. I hear his voice softly speak “I have to go.” I feel like I've been punched in the gut and my breath taken from me. I gasp searching for my words, but before I have a chance to speak he's gone; back to her. What the hell just happened!

Why! I screamed. My tears flowing like a raging river. My soul is once again tortured and the agony of my cries are cast into emptiness. There is nothing to quench the sting of my heartache. My world is empty. This darkness full of misery is my world now. How do I break free from the bondage that has overtaken me. Day and night I grovel in it's presence begging for it's mercy. The pain, the pain it won't subside. What kind of man plays with a woman's emotion and shows no concern or compassion for her heart?