My life was going along as normal as anyone Else's in these trying economic times and I thought I had my comings and goings under control. However, my brain had other plans and was sending these horrible migraine headaches that would blind me, make me nauseous and I would have to leave my computer and lay down. I had no deadlines to complete, no articles that demanded my attention and no phone calls that should have been made yesterday; so I was really perplexed with my health situation. Of course I thought the worst. I almost imagined a 'Brain Tumor". Then I withdrew into my logical self and disposed of that idea...immediately.

Perhaps I had eaten too much sugar or drank too much green tea. Whatever the problem was; I would not let it control my writing. Or so I thought.
Now you must keep in mind that I don't shrugg off circumstances lightly and I knew something was really bothering me. Hence I started to investigate myself.
During one of my headache sessions, I lay across my bed with my eyes closed and tried to stop my brain from running through my meditation session. Slowly, I found myself calming the beating nerves across my forehead and down into my temples, that felt as if they were trying to force themselves out of my head. I just lay there perfectly still and relaxed various parts of my body.

During this session I fell asleep. Immediately I began to dream...
I found myself in a large prominent department store and it was near closing time. The lights began going out in the men's section, jewelry section and women's fine apparel section. There were people around me who appeared to be getting off from work. There was a large freight elevator there and as the doors opened a man with a mask on his head got off the elevator with two goats; the goats wore saddles.
I was suppose to get on the elevator but I found myself holding my nose because I saw goat dropping in the back of the elevator and the smell was terrible. Three people got on and I was left standing by a large three tier shelf, with hugh amounts of silver coins stacked in rows. Somehow I knew the coins were mine and I carefully stood guard over them.
A strange woman tried to take some from me and I wrestled her to the floor and took them back. She disappeared.
I saw dollars , quarters, dimes and silver dollars. I began feeling quite pleased with myself and looked down at my feet. I was bare footed. There were a pair of childrens black sneakers beside the shelving, so I put them on. I remember feeling; how can these be my shoes, they are so small. But the shoes fit perfectly.

Suddenly, my toes started to grow and protruded out of the shoes. I was quite embarassed and turned to go, but I remembered my coins. I began looking for some containers large enough to put them in and then the man with the goats returned from around the corner.
I could not see his face, however I knew who he was. It was my friend...I could see his smile beneath the mask.
Now...let me tell you what was going on with me and why my dream came about. I finally figured it out. The Subconscious, unconscious and conscious mind!

Three years ago, I ran across an old friend of mine. I had not seen him for over thirty years. We grew up together; though he was three years my senior. He was very close to my family. We were so excited to finally see one another again and spent hours talking on the phone, catching up on each of our lives and somewhere in the reaquainting process we found the same ELECTRIC attraction, we had held for one another, years ago.
He is married and I am widowed (TWICE).
You know how you can be in the room with someone, or talk over the phone and the energy is so strong it sends shivers down your spine? This was happening to us.
I really enjoyed his company and I found his sense of humor as stimulating as I had thirty years before.
It felt wonderful to be in the company of someone who knew you for who you really were and you knew the real person they were. And though you two know this cannot be happening...it HAPPENED.
LOVE had never gone out. We had just went our seperate ways and now I knew this now was all wrong.

It had lay in my subconscious and my conscious mind began sending me mental signals; (painful signals) even though; I was unconscious of what was really going on between us.
Now I had to step away from the picture and I really did not want to . I must have been thinking about the situation so strongly that I was afraid to let go of this person because I now knew I really loved them and wanted to keep him with me, in my life. It was guilt and torment that brought on those headaches for me.
Now, that I have made a conscious decision to walk away...my headaches have stopped.

This whole situation was recorded in my dream. I could go on about this for another twelve pages, however, I want my readers to understand some of the effects that the subconscious has on your consciousness and you are unaware (unconscious) of these goings on.
AAHHH the subconscious mind...wouldn't it be the answer to our prayers if we could find a definite way to harness it's power?