You ain’t got no rhythm! Austin shouted, but little did the dance master know, that a fraction of a beat would turn disaster into success!
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MY LEFT FOOT, MY FUNNY BONE
By
CARMEN RUGGERO
“YOU AIN’T GOT NO RHYTHM!” Austin shouted, punching the downbeat. He got some kind of sadistic pleasure out of humiliating me. I could hear the chuckling and throat clearing coming from the other dancers, and I wanted to cry. But I didn’t give in.
“Five, six, seven, eight,” he shouted, showing his teeth. “Not eight and one eighth.” He made me do it again, and again, till I got it right. Finally, we were done. Hardly able to catch our breath, egos on the offence, Austin and I held a fiery stare contest.
Perspiration dripped down his forehead, over his eyes, his cheekbones, and gathered in one big drop that hung at the end of his nose. I know what he was thinking, “Damn, you’re left-footed!”
Dancers filed out of the studio; towels draped around necks, shaking heads from side to side, and trying to hide grins, like I couldn’t tell. I hoped for a word of encouragement from him, some dismal acknowledgement for my hard work. But hell no! He just stared at me beyond the drop at the end of his nose.
Somewhere along the line, I involuntarily switched gears and interrupted the steady count of a beat. A mystery that turned a perfectly good tragedy into a most untimely comedy. It made people laugh, and I believed they laughed at me. This ‘ain’t-got-no-rhythm’ syndrome doomed me.
At the time, I was rehearsing an English melodrama. I played the maid accused of trying to poison the lady of the house. The end of the second act brought this mystery to a climax, when I descended the spiraling stairs carrying the infamous glass of milk intended for my insomniac mistress.
I portrayed this villainous character well and maintained my somber descend for ten very suspenseful steps, and on the last step, every night, without exception, people chuckled.
It drove my director insane. He would run backstage yelling and screaming: “Can’t you keep a steady beat?”
I was astonished. I had written complete journals and pages upon pages of biographical notes on this character and her sixty-five lines, for Pete’s sake! I knew my skills!
One day, before the show opened to the public, I went into the theater when I knew I’d be alone, and practiced that scene till I dropped. The director’s words kept repeating themselves. “Keep a steady beat.”
”A lousy four by four count!” I muttered. “What am I to do about this spastic brain of mine? “Five, six, seven, eight,” Austin had said, in ballet class. “Not eight and one eighth.” Then, it hit me! “Austin you’re brilliant!” I shouted. It was that offbeat fraction that made people laugh! I punched it again, with purpose this time, and I got it!!!
Ain’t-got-no-rhythm found its niche. “Left foot,” I said, “meet my funny bone,” and hoped Austin could watch me from behind that sweaty drop, watch me hit the offbeat, and make them laugh on cue, every time!”
lol i appreciate the structure of this write, it is very well put-together, the entire conception of the 1/8th beat, carried thorughout and tied to comedy and timing! you said something larger here without seeming to try to, about something prhaps universal...well thought out piece!
Suspenseful and close to home, Rain of Deception 2 will leave you in Tears. Much like Part 1, this will shocking sequel will keep you on the edge of your fingertips.
Spoken Word
This CD will touch the deepest inner part of your humanness and spirit, you will never be the same after listening to the depths of struggle, the reality of life, the touching voice of truth. It will shock you, move you to tears. It w
Spoken Word
This CD will touch the deepest inner part of your humanness and spirit, you will never be the same after listening to the depths of struggle, the reality of life, the touching voice of truth. It will shock you, move you to tears. It w
