The Pear Tree
I had been all day cleaning up the mess in the tool room of the barn.
“I can’t believe how much crap you can accumulate on a ranch,” I said aloud as my six year old son son Jonathan walked in.
“What’s the matter, Dad?”
“Just look at all this mess! If Selby Hansen hadn’t said, ‘Don’t throw nothin’ away cuz as soon as you do you’ll need it for somethin,’ I’d be chucking all this stuff out instead of straightening this mess into a neater mess,” I said disgustedly.
“Wow! Look at this, Dad. It’s just right for me,” Jonathan said gleefully as he held a small electric chain saw in his hands. “I could use this to cut firewood.”
“You’ll do nothing of the sort,” I said sternly as I walked over and took the chain saw from him. “This is not a toy. You can get hurt with this thing. Besides, it probably doesn’t even work. Get me that extension cord over there that’s plugged in.”
Jonathan brought the extension cord to me and asked, “Are you going to try it?”
I plugged the cord into it and squeezed the trigger. The motor came to life as the chain started spinning around the guide bad bar. It was actually, pretty quiet running.
“Well, whaddaya know,” I said. “Something around here works. I’ll clean this up and we’ll keep it.”
I hung the saw up high enough so Jon couldn’t reach it.
“No playing with the saw, okay?” I said as I brushed my hand through his sandy brown hair.
“Okay, Dad. I’ve got it. I won’t play with the chain saw,” he assured me.
About five months later we were sitting around the table having breakfast. My lady friend Kate had come up to the ranch for the weekend. Jonathan really liked her and enjoyed when she was around.
“What are you up to today, Ron?” Kate asked.
“Nothing special. I’m going to practice a couple of songs and then later I think I’ll take that old pear tree down before it falls into the house. It’s been dead a year so it’s seasoned pretty well. It’ll make almost a half cord of good firewood,” I said. “When I’m done cutting it up, we can all stack it close to the house. That’ll be a fun chore for all of us later on.
“Speaking of chores, Jon…you’ve got a lot to do in the barn, buddy. You’ve got to feed the horses, rake the stalls out and put down fresh straw.”
“I know,” Jon said as he pulled on his “mucker” boots. “I’m going right now.”
“He’s such a good kid,” Kate said as Jonathan walked out the door. “He never complains about anything. He does everything you ask him to do without an argument.”
“I know. He’s my little buddy,” I replied. “He won’t be back until lunch time. Would you care to fool around with the ranch owner?”
Kate laughed, “I thought you’d never ask. I was wondering when you were going to get around to that.”
“It’s a good thing I live on this ranch and there’s plenty of chores that need to be done or we’d never have any privacy,” I replied.
“Show me the way, cowboy,” Kate said extending her hand.
BAM! A huge explosion went off. We jumped out of bed and out onto the deck off the bedroom. There was nothing there. I slipped into my jeans and a t-shirt as Kate scrambled to get her clothes on. We hurried out the back door and around to the kitchen side of the house.
We stopped dead in our tracks at the sight of Jonathan with the electric chain saw in his hands and the old pear tree lodged into the side of the house.
“Jonathan Matthew! What the hell did you do? What did I tell you about that chain saw?” I yelled as I walked towards him as he stood trembling.
Kate beat me to him as she got down on her knees and hugged him as he started to cry.
“There, there, Jon. It’s okay. It’s an accident, sweetheart,” she said comforting him as he held onto her with his head buried into the side of her neck.
It took about fifteen minutes to get Jonathan back to normal and calm enough to talk rationally.
“Whatever possessed you to do this, Jonathan?” I asked him as we all sat at the picnic table under the old cottonwood tree.
“I just wanted to help,” he replied. “You said you were going to cut the pear tree down today.”
“Why didn’t you come and get me?” I asked.
“I did,” he replied, “but you and Kate were taking a nap and I didn’t want to disturb you.”
I looked at Kate as her eyebrows raised and she broke a small grin. I shook my head.
“You knew the rules. You weren’t supposed to touch that chain saw,” I said sternly. “Have you got your jack knife on you?”
“Yes,” he answered sheepishly.
“Good. I want you to walk up to the spring to where the willows are and cut a switch and bring it back here to me. Do you understand?” I asked.
“Yes, sir,” he answered.
“Good,” I replied. “Now get your tiny little butt in gear and get up and back here, pronto.”
Jonathan walked away briskly with his little dog Josie bounding along in front of him headed towards the spring. As he got out of sight Kate looked at me with a concerned expression.
“You’re not going to beat him with a switch are you?” she asked with a troubled tone in her voice. “Geez, Ron, it was our fault he didn’t ask. He was just trying to do the right thing. It wasn’t his fault we collapsed after a quick roll in the sheets. Are you going to punish me, too?”
“Relax, Kate. I’m not going to hit him. Hell, George Washington’s father never beat him for cutting down the cherry tree. By the time he gets back here with that switch in his hand he’ll have had enough time to think this whole thing through. I doubt I’ll ever have to worry about him cutting down any more trees for a long time or even touching that chain saw without asking first. ”
“That is sinister,” Kate said as she started laughing so hard she could hardly stop. “What are you going to do with the tree and the broken window and branches in the kitchen?”
“I’m going to buck up the tree into fireplace sized pieces and Jon can stack it when he gets back. It’s a half mile trip up and back to the spring. I’m sure he’ll stretch the trip out for a while. We can clean up the kitchen later. I’ll tarp the window opening and board it up until I can get another window.”
Jonathan was back in about an hour and a half. To his surprise the tree was cut into a lot of fireplace sized pieces. He walked up to me and timidly handed me the switch. I swung it in the air a couple of times and listened to it whir in the wind. He had that deer in the headlight look as he watched me and listened to the sound of the switch moving through the air.
“Boy, that’s a good one, Jon,” I said smiling. “You outdid yourself on this one.”
I took Jonathan by the hand and led him to the picnic table where Kate was seated.
“What did you learn today, Jonathan?” I asked my nervous son.
He looked at me and quietly said, “I’ll never touch anything I’m told not to touch ever again. I promise, Dad. I know I could have hurt myself or you guys in the house and I deserve to be punished.”
I looked at him and snapped the switch in half, throwing the pieces on the ground. He had the look of total relief on his face.
“Now go start stacking all that wood near the porch. Use your little wagon to haul the wood. When you’re done cover it with that blue tarp over there,” I instructed.
“I love you, Dad,” Jonathan said. “I’m sorry, Kate.”
“I love you, too, son. Now get to work,” I said.
As Jonathan disappeared around the side of the house Kate came over to me and hugged me.
“I love you, too, Dad,” she said and then she kissed me. “By the way, cowboy…you never answered my question from before.”
“What question was that?” I asked.
“I asked if you were going to punish me, too, for falling asleep,” she responded.
“Oh, I didn’t forget. I plan to…later on. I might even spank you.” I smiled and winked.
“I’m so relieved. I love it when a plan comes together. I thought I was going to get away without any kind of penance whatsoever. Let’s help Jonathan so he can get done quicker,” she said with a smile and a wink.
