Beth watched as the snow began to fall. First, as big fluffy flakes, then smaller ones. How pretty the snow looked on the pine trees outside their living room window. It was going to be the perfect holiday "greeting-card" Christmas.

The cupboards and refrigerator were stocked with lots of goodies, from meats and vegetables to cookies and pies.  A special blend of coffee had been selected for sipping as they opened their gifts. The day would be one of the best Beth and Bob had ever experienced.  Home alone, peaceful, quiet with the first snowfall on this special day! Perfection on earth!

And so it came to pass that the old couple sat down to enjoy their Christmas holiday in glee.  First they had a breakfast of cinnamon rolls and coffee. The tree was lit and they snuggled into the sofa to view the beautifully wrapped presents that were piled high under the tree. They began slowly opening the gifts.   They complimented each other on such thoughtful and delightful choices.

After a few hours they went to the dining room where they had a healthy and delicious lunch.

With the afternoon promising more snowfall, it was a perfect day for some holiday entertainment.

Beth returned to the living room where she fetched the remote to turn on the television. The cable box on top lighted up and signaled ready. The screen brightened and a flash of a face and the sound of talking filled the room.

                Suddenly the screen went crazy and a number appeared with words dashing across the screen: MAKE YOUR SELECTION NOW.

What had happened?  Beth tried to trace her steps. Had she hit the green button, as before, or had she hit something else?  What else could she have touched? She looked at the magic remote device in her hands. There was a button that looked like the Escape button on her tablet. Could that be the button she should hit?

She pressed the button and within seconds a different screen appeared. Please select HDM1 or DVH2.

She had no idea what to do.  Fortunately her husband Bob came to the rescue.

“Now what was it you pressed?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Beth responded.

“Can’t you remember?”

“I thought I did what I always do!”

Bob reached forward with the remote in his hands, aiming it at the television, he pressed a button then stood to watch the outcome.

Again the screen changed, but this time it indicated that they were about to go over to a new subscription channel.

“No!” Beth screamed as she pulled on her hair.

“What?”

“We don’t want that. We don’t want any more than the 500 channels we already have.”

“Damn it wife, we have 500 channels? Why is it that we can never find anything to watch?”

“I know, but we’re already paying $250 for what we have. We don’t want to pay more for extra channels.”

“Do you think I don’t know that?”

“I know you know that, I’m just worried you’ll hit the wrong button and we’ll have to pay even more!”

“Don’t worry about it, I just got us back to the first screen.”

MAKE YOUR SELECTION NOW.

“That’s where I was after I hit the wrong button,” Beth screamed, “A lot of good you did!”

“I was trying to get us to the regular screen we usually start with.” Bob tossed the remote to the sofa and walked away.  

Beth grabbed it and looked at the buttons again.  Why should it be so hard? Why don’t the buttons make sense?  Now here was a button with a backward arrow. Would that take you back to the beginning?  Here was a button that said Exit. Would it get them out of the endless menus to oblivion?

She turned the television off, gave it a brief rest then turned it on again.

There it was again.  The wrong screen. 

Bob came back and took the remote from Beth’s hand.

“Let’s try this,” he said.  He pressed several buttons. Different screen designs and words popped up then disappeared from the screen.

“I don’t know what to do!” he screamed.  He tossed the remote at the sofa as if tossing it into a trash can.

It banged against a can of peanuts and made a clicking sound.

Beth turned to look at the television. On the screen was the old familiar page offering all the menu items that they liked to choose from. The remote was working again.

But really, who cared? The two of them were so disgusted they turned the television off and reached for the radio dial. Christmas music filled the room, but it did not create joy and cheer. Beth thought of the frustration of shopping, decorating, and cooking. Finally the Christmas holidays were over.