An excerpt from my story, “My Sweet Concubine”, a fictional story...
Mei-Zhen was the concubine of a rich landlord in ancient China, married at a very young age into the landlord’s family as the fifth concubine.
Life had not been easy as there was a lot of competitions for the Landlord’s love and attention between herself and the other concubines in the house. She only wished she was free.
From age 14 now to a ripe young age of 16, she had lived under the control of her landlord, also her husband; an unconventional marriage of sorts, the fifth wife in a large home. She had lived this way for the past two years, partially by choice, and, as she was growing older the yearn for independence and solitude began to creep into her mind. She had tried to escape several times in the last two years, only to be found, captured, and returned to her home – a one-time den of solitude that she was now beginning to view as her prison.
Recently she had been having some horrible dreams in which there was a young woman claiming that she was actually concubine number five, but was murdered by the heartless landlord and his team of unkind followers. In this dream, the young woman told Mei-Zhen she had been executed by hanging in one of the secret chambers inside the large home. After her death, Mei-Zhen was received quietly to replace her as concubine number five.
Mei-Zhen had been seriously affected by this recurring dream. During the day she would often think about her dreams and the murder that had supposedly taken place inside the large home.
Last night the nightmare and the young woman invaded Mei-Zhen once again; and this time, the young woman told Mei-Zhen where she could find her. She spoke of the secret chamber, and how she could get there. The following night Mei-Zhen decided to search the house for that secret chamber. She went through some bushes, just as the young woman had told her in the nightmare. There she came to a pile of stones which she pushed aside to the crawl space opening the young woman had told her about last night. With curiosity of the unknown, Mei-Zhen lifted the hem of her dress, now covered in mud, bent over and crawled into the opening. She thought of the countless of times she had crossed this path on her daily walks, never even noticing what lay beneath the cairn-like structure she had just disassembled.
Mei-Zhen carefully traced the stone and dried mud of the walls with one hand, balancing herself and collecting her bearings, an oil lantern in another. She could see from the flickering of the candle the inside of it a rather earthly structure - something certainly that seemed out of place. She could see before her, amidst the crumbling earth and the sporadic bat – a door! A man-made door! It was as if someone had made a home here underneath the earth! Yes, the more Mei-Zhen looked around, it seemed this was a little house by itself, a tiny, cramped, little-hidden house. She pried the door open and stepped inside. Her heart was pounding in anticipation as she walked in, wondering what sight would greet her. Immediately, she was greeted by an unpleasant odor, it was so strong that it made her cough.
The place looked as though it had long been deserted, it was filled with cobwebs and dust. She walked cautiously across the room, swiping them away with exaggerated strokes of her free hand as she proceeded. Behind the door, she found herself in a room. The furniture was old, and some had long been dried up and cracked for lack of polishing. There was a small bed, topped with the simplest linen, leaning against the windowless wall. Beside it was a lone dresser. It stood bare. Mei-Zhen thought it quite looked like the dresser in her bedroom, except this one lacked any female’s ornaments. Wait! She saw something shiny, sitting on the dresser. She walked closer and found it was a jade hairpin! She held it in her palm and admired its beauty. The rich colour of the green jade stone illumined brightly in her palm. The pin itself was made of gold. She wondered if this had been the place in which the former concubine five had been sentenced to live prior to her execution, and this was her hairpin. For a moment a strong instinct had overcome her. She put the hairpin into her cloth belt and secured it there. Then she continued to walk cautiously across the room to search for evidence that someone had been living there. The linen on the bed was very simple, it was of brown linen - like most farmers would use on their beds - much unlike what a concubine of the landlords would use.
Who could have been living here then if it wasn’t the former concubine five?
Her curiosity now heightened to an excited level, Mei-hen’s mind began to race. Millions of thoughts were running wildly through her 16-year-old-mind. Her heart began to pound, filled with anticipatory anxiety for what more she might still find in this small house. She was scared and yet excited - she felt like she was about to discover the biggest secret of all time!
Suddenly, the floor gave way, and she fell under! There seemed to be yet another level to this little house - or was it just an opening on the ground? She fell to the bottom, screaming in agony upon her landing – which just happened to be right on her ankle!
Mei-Zhen steadied herself she looked up at the gaping hole from which she had just so achingly fallen. She was, indeed, on an even lower ground! Could this be a basement? Inside this room, under the glow of the dancing firelight inside of her lantern, Mei-Zhen let out a startled gasp. There was a coffin in the middle of the room! Some flowers were placed on the top of the coffin but they had long been withered.
Curiosity and excited anticipation now turned into full-blown horror. “Help!” She screamed loudly, but there didn’t seem to be anyone around who could hear her.
“HELP!!!” She yelled louder this time. Looked up, but still didn’t see anyone there.
Mei-Zhen was in great fear. She had never been to a funeral. Never witnessed a burial, much less been in a place where a lone coffin was sitting in the middle of the room! Looking at the coffin now was giving her goose-bumps, causing the hair at the nape of her neck to rise.
“Help! Is there anyone up there?” She screamed again, wondering if she was going to just die right there. Death absolutely horrified her.
Knowing her cries for aid was likely going to be fruitless she continued to scream nonetheless. This time, to her surprise, Mei-Zhen lifted her lantern to give her a better view of the hole from which she fell. This time, she could just make out a dark shadow of a young woman who appeared to be peering back down through the hole at her. She was throwing down a rope to her. Mei-Zhen held tight to the rope and lifted herself back to the main floor of the house. She was about to thank whoever that had lowered the rope to save her, but to her surprise - There was no one there in the house! The rope had just simply been tied to the bedpost and extended over and lowered all the way down to reach her.
Mei-Zhen was scared out of her mind. She ran out of that place as fast as she could. She followed the long dark corridor that preceded the door to this – house - again and came back to the opening of the bushes. She hastily but carefully placed the rocks back on the opening, making it appear as if they had never been moved, and repositioned the bushes just as the way it had been. When she got back to her own chamber, she quickly washed off all that dirt from herself and the clothes she wore as well. Then she went to bed, pulling the cover over to almost her entire being.
The following morning her husband the landlord came to her room to inquire whether or not she had gone anywhere the night before, and she replied “no”. Then he asked if she had heard someone scream for help, and she also replied “no” as well.
“I was sleeping, didn’t hear anything at all,” she said.
She was smart enough not to let him know that she knew something about the former concubine five, about the coffin that she saw in that secret place. Instinctively, she knew she should keep that part of her knowledge to herself. She thought of the green jade hairpin again that she had found. She had hidden it now under her bed.
The landlord watched his new concubine five intently. He watched her eyes carefully to find any trace of her lying each time she answered no.
“Very well then,” he finally said, “Keep all doors closed at night before you go to bed, perhaps the windows too. If you hear strange noise or anything just don’t pay any attention to it, just stay in your bed and you’ll be safe. There are some sightings of strange happenings and noise around the house last night. I will be bringing in some private investigators to help me investigate those strange happenings. These people may be wandering around the premises too, so it will be better for you to stay in your chamber at night.”
“Okay,” she answered obligingly.
“On second thought...my sweet concubine...I may come by this evening, and we shall spend the evening and the night together,” he said again. Smiling, extending his arm over her shoulders.
“Okay,” she answered again. Sheepishly, she smiled back.
In reality, she was not happy at all whenever the landlord comes by. She thought about all the sick games that he wanted her to play along during sex. Just the thought of him running around with all those other concubines in the house was enough to make her feel sick. She remembered the time when she first came into this house, she had felt like merchandise, bought by the landlord because her parents owed rent to the farms and the farm houses that they lived in. There were several incidences of flooding, and their family farms had lost a large sum of money through bad harvests. Then she was brought here in exchange for the clearance of the debts her parents owed. She was only 14 years old then. She could still remember the lessons that the Landlord’s first wife - whom everyone called her big sister no. One - had given her. Big sister no. One was almost as old as the landlord. She made her stand there in front of her, gave her the lessons about sex, and how she must behave to be a woman in order to please the Landlord. She stood in front of big sister no. One and took it all in, like she was supposed to know everything already after one brief lesson. It was a hasty lesson, and nothing had prepared her for what she must face that first night of sex with the Landlord. It was painful, and the Landlord acted like a beast that she had never seen before. She remembered fighting him off, and then ran and went into hiding. She was scared, but the Landlord seemed delighted and thought it was a game of hide and seek. Eventually, she was found and captured. What followed was an immense pain through the night. Though she had screamed at the top of her lungs, no one came to her rescue. She wished she could free herself then. She wished by some miracles someone would pay the Landlord for what her parents owed him so she could be free of this sex monster. Whenever he comes by, he wants nothing else, except to have sex with her!!
Exotic stories of long time Chinese practices are always interesting and I'm looking forward to see if the "mystery" is really a mystery or a more sinister, crime. From your description, the practice of having young concubines as a payment for debt is, in itself, criminal… but certainly condoned during much of Chinese history.
Once again, your story needs editing. For example, you can remove the word "now" wherever it appears and the meaning will not be changed.
Good story, Sandie. Captivating. Thank you for sharing this excerpt with us. Love and best wishes of much success to you,
Regis
Reviewed by Nancie O'Reiley
8/13/2014
"My Sweet Concubine" is a delight to read. This seems to me to be of mystery/suspense genre, but I could be wrong. I'll have to read further into the future chapters to determine. I can't wait already! This story captivates my attention from beginning to end. Well-done, Sandie!
Nancie
Reviewed by May Yu
8/13/2014
AMAZING story, and very powerful plots. I wonder now who was living in that little house? And what awaits Mei-Zhen in the evening when the Landlord comes to spend the night with her.
Very interesting story indeed! As Bonnie said, a 5-star rating for this one!
Sandie Oh my gosh if I was holding the book I words I would say to you, " I could't put it down" I wanted to keep on reading and reading. You're a star. Fantastic 5star rating Love you so proud,
Rovella is a beautiful woman with a cold heart whom blames herself for an unfortunate old family secret that is literally ruining her life. This secret impedes a gorgeous woman from having happiness in her childhood, and throughout her life. Dark sec
Mei-Zhen was the concubine of a rich landlord in ancient China, married at a very young age into the landlord’s family as the fifth concubine.
