Ronee' 's brother, Johnny, who is also going to be 11 years old, decides to write a letter to Jesus for Christmas.
If you don't like tear-jerker type of stories, then I suggest you skip this; but if you want to read it, you are free to do so.
December 9, 2003 (Tuesday aft.)~
Dear Jesus~
My name is Johnny, and I am going to be 11 years old the day AFTER Christmas (and one day AFTER Ronee'; her birthday is ON Christmas Day, poor kid! LOL). I have written to you before, but in case you forgot who I am, I am the kid in the wheelchair, the one with the muscular dystrophy. (I sometimes walk on my arm crutches, but I mostly use my chair because the crutches wear me out.) I have blonde hair that is spiked, and blue eyes, and I wear glasses and hearing aids in my ears. I have a lot of health problems.
Ronee' is my sister; she's been my sister since we were babies. We were adopted, her and I: I was born in Germany (I was adopted first), and she was born in Louisiana (she came one week after I did, but I don't remember; all I know is she has always been a part of my life, and I didn't know she was adopted until I was older). I thought she wasn't because she looks like mommy and daddy (she is dark, like they are, and I am not), but she was, which really surprised me. Still, Ronee' IS a very good sister, and she and I are very close and are the best of friends. (MOST of the time; sometimes she annoys me!)
Besides Ronee', I also have other sisters (DON'T ask me to name them all! I must have a MILLION of them!) and brothers (a lot of them, too, but there are more girls in my family than boys!); and for the most part, we ALL get along great. I have a very big family, and my mom and dad must have an awful lot of love in their hearts to take in as many kids as they have! I don't know HOW they do it, but they have more than enough love to go around for all us kids, and they always go out of their way to make sure we have all that we need!
I am so glad I have You in my life, Jesus: without You, my life would NOT be nearly as good as it is, even with all the health problems I have to go through! You loved me so much that You died on a Cross for MY sins; and I don't know why You did it, but Your Heart MUST be VERY big to do that! That is something I can't POSSIBLY imagine! You getting nailed to a Cross and having bad people whip You with branches and whips and then having to wear a crown of thorns on Your Head while people made fun of You. I don't know how You stood all that pain or hate: if I were You, Jesus, I would have gotten good and mad and probably struck them down with a lightning bolt or something, or at least have your Daddy God do it! I would have done something so You wouldn't have had to die on a Cross; but then I learned why You did it, and all of a sudden, I know WHY You died; and whenever I think of it now, I still choke up and cry!
I also learned why You were born on Christmas Day (although people tell me that you really weren't born on Christmas; still, WHY DO they celebrate your Birthday on December 25 if You weren't born ON Christmas?? It doesn't seem to make any sense to me whatsoever!!): You were born so You could come to Earth and live among man, and then You died, so You could save people from their sins. That part, I understand very well; but I really would love to know when your REAL Birthday is! It doesn't seem right to celebrate your Birthday on a day when it really isn't! It'd be like me celebrating my birthday on July 4 when my birthday is really not until December 26! (Does that make ANY sense to you, Jesus??)
I also wanted to write because as You know I have muscular dystrophy and am not expected to live for more than a few years at best. I know You have your reasons for my being sick and all, but Jesus, it is SO DAMNED HARD at times, especially when I see that my brothers and sisters are getting older, and some, like Tanya, Lightning, Dwerlina, Dianna, and Melizza are now on their own. And Anh and Steffi will probably be gone next year too, and I won't ever get that chance. I will never get to go to college, or get to drive a car (I still would love to have a HUMMER or have a chance to drive one!!), or have a girlfriend or get married or have kids, or NOTHING. All I get to do is die and then go to a cold grave and get buried. That doesn't seem like a fun future, especially to a kid like me; and I don't know why there hasn't been a cure for my disease. I would have loved to have seen a cure for muscular dystrophy while I was alive, and now, all of a sudden, it doesn't seem like I will get that chance because every day, I somehow grow a little worse, and even though I KNOW I am saved and am going to Heaven, it still makes me a bit sad. I would like to know what it would be like to meet a girl or go on a date or learn to drive a car, or go to my first prom; or even get married and have kids of my own. I bet I would have made a very good father!! Or even a very good grandfather!!
Christmas used to be so fun for me, Jesus: I used to enjoy the twinkling lights on the trees, and the expectations of having Santa Claus bring us kids presents come Christmas Eve; now it only makes me sad because as I grow older, Christmas only means that I am growing sicker and sicker, and nothing much can be done to stop it (my death). It's like time is running out, and I am NOT ready to go; I DON'T want to die so soon! Two years left of my life is NOT very long, and I DON'T want to go sooner than necessary! I am NOT ready to go; I have too much to do!! Couldn't You postpone it SOMEHOW, so I could at LEAST have more Christmases left or grow a LITTLE older than say, thirteen years old?? Thirteen is NOT very old!!
I am NOT scared of seeing You, Jesus, and I KNOW where I am going when I die; but I am only a KID, and I want to live to become an adult! WHY do I have to go through all this stuff? It is getting harder and harder for me to do things, and I know I shouldn't be scared, but Jesus, the truth of the matter is I AM! I am absolutely TERRIFIED!! And Christmas only makes me sad; I want to be happy on Christmas, but at times, I CAN'T help BUT to cry because I don't have much time left, and the truth is, I DON'T want to go SO SOON!!
I will write more later, right now I am crying too hard for me to be able to write. I hope You aren't mad at me for writing down all this stuff, but I just HAD to get it out and tell SOMEONE before I would bust! (I am scared to tell my mommy and daddy about these feelings because they have more than enough on their plate to worry about, and I don't want to add to it, You know??) Thank You for listening to a small boy's problems!
this took my breath away at the sadness in this...but Johnny isn't just going to be buried in a cold grave and forgotten...Johnny will be able to run and leap and shout for joy--for he will have a new HEALTHY body
tears and death and sickness--all the "old things" of this wicked earth will have passed away and rejoicing comes in the morning--for Johnny will be healed
outstanding, heartbreaking write--one of your best *tears*
now look what you've done--made me cry *thank you*
What began as Songs of the Angelic Gaze in the summer of 2006 continued the following year as The Bridge of Silver Wings, and developed even further two years after that into The Bridge of Silver Wings 2009. Whether readers describe it as a conversa
For the past two years (2006-2008) The Bridge of Silver Wings has earned a name for itself both as a series of poems published in different e-zines and as a book first published in 2007.
What makes this 2009 edition a special one is th
A short story of mine was included in an anthology of short fiction by fourteen of Port Town Publishing Company's authors. It is out of print and no longer available except as a download. Contact me at charlenetess@yahoo.com if you want it.
December 9, 2003 (Tuesday aft.)~
