When they pulled into the driveway of Kim’s parent’s home she noticed Gary and Abby’s rental car on the curb. As Kim emerged from the car she saw Abby headed her direction with Gary right behind her. Abby didn’t say a word as the walked up to the house together. Kim took a deep breath as she stood in front of the closed door. I had occurred to her this would be the first time she had walked into this house when her father was not there. He would never be here again. Kim felt like someone had a tight hold around her heart making it hard for her to breath. She was very glad to have Abby beside her. Nick stood on her other side as Kim heard her mother unlocking the door and opening it. Everyone went inside but Kim hung back not sure if she was ready for what would come next. She heard Marta and her sisters talking inside the house. Slowly Kim walked inside. Her father’s recliner sat it’s usual place as if it were waiting for him to come back at any time. The paper lay folded on the coffee table just like he had left it when he had gone to bed. Tears filled her eyes as she crossed the room and carefully picked up the paper. For as long as she could remember her dad had folded the paper this exact same way every night.  Kim felt arms around her shoulders and looked over to see Abby standing beside her. “I can’t believe he is really gone.” She sobbed. Abby didn’t say a word just held Kim and let her cry. “Everything in the house still looks like he’s just gone out, like he will be back at any moment. I keep expecting him to walk through the front door and tell everyone it was all a mistake.” She continued. “But in my heart I know he will never again walk through that door, or sit in his chair and read the paper or fold it in his own special way.”

“He’s not gone.” Abby said soothingly. “Your dad and memories of him will live in forever in your heart. You aren’t all alone in the world either. I am here for you as well as Nick.” She said finally. Marta stood at a distance with her arms wrapped around herself. Her discomfort was clear. She did not know weather Kim would accept comfort from her as she did Abby or Nick. She was glad Abby and Gary had come. Nick was overwhelmed taking care of Kim alone. Marta would have offered to assist Nick but she did not think Kim would have let her do anything for her. Marta understood since she had never been a good mother to Kim. Why should she allow her to act like a mother now? She had never give Kim a reason so trust her or want to turn to her when she was in distress. If anything she had given her reason to turn Marta away. Even if she was her own mother Marta had never acted like the woman who had given birth to Kim. Marta observed the ease with which Abby dealt with Kim and could not help but be a little jealous. Regret was also prominent in Marta’s mind.

“I’m not trying to take you away from your family but why don’t you think about coming back with us after the funeral?” Abby suggested when Kim walked them out later. “I’m not sure my mother is ready to be on her own yet. I was actually thinking about taking a personal leave from work for a while to stay here with her. Nick could go back to California and get back to work and I could stay here for another week or two. I really think my mother needs me right now. She is okay right now because so much is going on but I don’t think she is going to do so well after the funeral and it really sinks in Dad is not coming back.” Kim said honestly. “I think you are right but you should know it is not your job to take care of your mother. You need to think about yourself as well as Nick.” Abby said gently. “I know it’s not my job to take care of her. I want to stay and help her out for a while.” Kim said defensively. “Honey I am not trying to tell you what to do or butt into your life.” Abby said reaching out touch Kim’s arm. Kim knew Abby meant what she said. It was just hard to think when she felt her life was so out of control. “I don’t mean to take all this out on you.” Kim said weakly. Abby had turned away from her and Kim was sure Abby was crying. When Gary came out of the front door Kim decided to drop the subject and bring it back up later when they were alone. Kim saw Abby swipe at the tears on her cheeks before turning to get in the car with Gary.

As Kim walked back into the house and shut the door behind her she kicked herself for lashing out at Abby. She knew Abby was only trying to look out for her. She would have to find a way to make it up to Abby. Her support had been priceless to Kim. She was not sure she could have made it without Abby beside her. Nick was doing the best he could but Abby seemed to understand how she was feeling even when she could not put it into words. As Kim went though the motions of preparing for bed her mind was consumed with guilt over her mistake. If Abby had been mad and abandoned Kim she could not say she would blame her. Kim was very relieved Abby had not chosen to this option though. More than ever she was going to need Abby beside her in the next few days. Kim knew she did not need to shove Abby away. Maybe it would be best if she left when Abby and Gary did. Her mother had gone a long time without her assistance and she would make it now somehow. This was going to be a huge adjustment for all of them, most of all her mother.   

Abby sat beside Kim in the small church, which was packed with mourners wishing to pay their last respects to Jack. She had not bothered to wear any make up. After worrying all night about losing Abby because of her treatment the night before Kim had not fallen asleep until daylight was beginning to break. Nick had called her a few hours later. When she emerged from the shower Kim heard Terry arrive. Standing in front of the mirror Kim gazed at her reflection. Her eyes were looked lifeless and swollen. Red blotches covered her cheeks and traces of make up streaked down her face. Turning on the faucet Kim filled her hands with water and brought them to her face. The cold water stung her face as it washed away the final traces of her make up. Kim knew there was nothing she could do about the swollen eyes and strain, which was so evident. Kim sighed as she gazed into the mirror again. Finally resigning herself she dashed out of the bathroom to finish dressing. The whole house was a buzz with activity as everyone rushed around getting ready to leave. When Kim stepped out of the bathroom everyone was sitting around the table eating breakfast. “I brought breakfast.” Terry said from across the room. “I’m not hungry.” Kim declined. As she walked across the room she felt Terry’s gaze burning into her. Kim prayed she would not cause a scene. It was the last thing Kim needed right now. She wasn’t lying to herself or anyone else. She would eat later. Kim could not promise how long the food would stay in her stomach. Knowing her pattern if she ate by that night she would be in the all too familiar position retching into the toilet.

Kim cringed inwardly at the thought of what she would likely be doing to herself later. Music pulled Kim out of her thoughts. As the casket was carried past them and placed near the front of the church Kim felt numb. All the energy and emotion she had exerted in the past few days started to catch up with her and Kim felt overwhelmed by fatigue. As the pastor stepped up to the pulpit and began to speak Kim felt her eyelids drooping. She felt herself slipping from the pew and was powerless to stop herself. As the darkness sucked her under Kim heard voices talking and scream but they were suddenly very far away. The last thing Kim saw before the darkness prevailed was Nick’s concerned face looming over her.

Sounds of hospital hustle and bustle swarmed Kim’s sense. She could hear machines beeping and for a moment thought she was dead. Slowly she opened her eyes and struggled to turn her head. Nick sat nearby in a chair but seemed to be the only person in the room. When he realized she was awake Nick dropped the magazine he had been reading and rushed to her bedside.