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Amanda's Story (Part One..By Her Parents, Corinthe and Raymond Tackett) by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Saturday, May 1, 2004
Rated "G" by the Author.
A couple who should be enjoying their retirement spends their days taking care of their severely handicapped adult daughter who has many severe special needs. Yet they do it with love and compassion.
Our daughter, Amanda Lee, should, in all reality, have a life. She is 28 years old; most adults her age are married or have families--or careers--of their own, are attending college, or enjoying their newfound freedom as capable, responsible adults.
But our daughter isn't like most adults. Our daughter's world is a world that revolves around tube feedings, frequent hospitalizations, administration of various medications around the clock at appointed hours, several times a day, oxygen tubing and daily physiotherapy to help keep weakened, damaged lungs as clear and free from mucus as possible, and total dependency. At the age of 28, Amanda is virtually a prisoner of her own body, unable to do anything for herself but blink her eyes, move her head or hands, or make noises that only Raymond (he's my husband) or I (my name is Corinthe, by the way) can understand.
Amanda was born with brain damage, but she seemed okay other than "mental slowness"; she was able to say her first words by the age of two, was aware of who we were and could say "Mama" and "Daddy" and break out in a smile whenever she saw us, and seemed ready to walk at any time; but then, at the age of 32 months, nearly three years of age, she took sick with encephalitis that severely damaged her brain when her fever shot up to 108 degrees, damaging what cells were left, and now she is hopelessly crippled and unable to do even the most rudimentary of tasks. She is dependent on others to care for her needs, and she is more like an infant than an adult female nearing the age of 30. She has had bouts of pneumonia and other respiratory illnesses that have severely compromised her lungs and left her dependent on supplimental oxygen. She is unable to take food by mouth--she can't swallow or chew; if she does, she is prone to choking--, so she is fed by a gastro tube that has been surgically implanted into her stomach where Raymond (or I or a trained health care professional) can administer her "feedings" or her liquid medications. She is either in a hospital bed or is in a special wheelchair that can be put into different positions to give her the maximum amount of comfort. She is unable to walk or do anything on her own, and her needs are many; but to us, this beautiful young lady with the long, thick, brown hair and huge, dark-brown eyes is our life, and we would do anything possible to alleviate her suffering or her pain. She is our Miracle Child, and she brings out the best in people when they first see her.
People sometimes ask us how we manage to handle a person like our Mandy, how we cope with our feelings towards her, or how we manage to keep our sanity; but we tell them that Mandy is this way for a reason, and that even with all her health problems, she is still a person, a human being, and she should have a chance at life, just like anyone else. We would much rather have her home with us, where we can take care of her, than in a hospital or residential care setting because far too many times, hospitals or residential care settings are left short-staffed, and patients in these settings are often left unattended, or they are abused by overstressed, overworked, and underpaid personnel. We didn't want to subject Amanda to this kind of cruel, inhumane, harsh environment, so this is why we have opted to care for her here at home instead. This way, we can monitor her ourselves and take care of any unforseen problems that may pop up as a result of her fragile health needs; but if worse DOES come to worse, we CAN get her to a hospital as quickly as possible. We also have several people who come every day to help us whenever we need a chance to get away, even if it IS for a few hours; but we are always in touch with those who are caring for our daughter, and we can always keep in close communication, just in case something DOES happen, and if it does, then we can always rush back home to our daughter.
Because of her fragile health, Amanda doesn't go to very many places except maybe to church IF she is up to it or to her scheduled doctor's appointments. Her immune system isn't that strong, and she is vulnerable to any little bug that may happen to come along. The only places she DOES go to on a regular basis are her doctor's appointments or to church every Sunday. She also goes to physical therapy several times a week at the hospital, or if she IS sick at home, the therapists come to the house, and they do therapy at the house. She also goes to her Aunt's house at Christmastime, but that is about it. Any other time she is at home, where we can take care of her and her needs.
Sometimes Raymond and myself wonder why Amanda has to suffer like she does or why she is the way she is, but we have accepted her, and she IS our daughter; so we just learn to cope with her many disabilities and try to love her and help her as best as we know how. We do have moments of weakness, where we cry and question God, but we have also learned to rely on Him, for He has brought her through many trials with her health, and even though she HAS come close to dying several times, He must NOT want her just yet because she is still here, and He MUST have a purpose for her, even though WE may not understand what it is or why she has to go through what she does with her health.
Wonderful story of two loving, compassionate, extremely brave parents - who do the best they can for their beloved child. What more could anyone ask of parents such as these?
Karen, a truly memorable write. Drawing on so many emotions! I'm so proud of you and the way you dealt with the why of her life!the last
paragraph says it well! We can weep,ask why, be hurt and troubled, over the reason for such a life to continue. Yet, there is acreator who knows all things from beginning to en, which we can't see, and He has a reason for all things.Someone like Amanda makes many think there is no God.The opposite of the faith Gos wants us to have, in His ability to make all things come out right in the end!
Brava for such a wonderfully told story!
(I'm keeping you in prayer, hoping storms end soon;-)
A poignant story about letting go of a narcissist in your life. Have you ever been attacked FULL force by a narcissist? It's the closest thing to being stabbed over and over in the back.
A poignant story about letting go of a narcissist in your life. Have you ever been attacked FULL force by a narcissist? It's the closest thing to being stabbed over and over in the back.
A page-turning novel about a relationship between best friends that is interrupted because of betrayal , deceit, sexual promiscuity and pregnancy happens!
