After my wife's Dad went to Heaven in 2003 she wrote a tribute in his honor.That tribute is posted on this web site. When Rosalie's mother, Velma McCullough Gillum, went to be with her Lord on December 1, 2004 she believed it was only fitting that she also share personal remembrances of her mom - "The Lady in the Red Boots and Hat".
As we reflect back on our lives, we realize we are what we are today because of our parents. We never had a lot of money, but we were the richest people on earth. We can't imagine anyone having parents who loved their children more than Mom and Dad loved us. They devoted their lives to us, and we were the center of their universe. Family was the most important thing in the world to them. We spent countless hours sitting around the dining room table or on the screened in front porch listening to their stories from the past, talking, and laughing. No matter what came our way, we knew that we could go home and find love and understanding.
Jeff Jr. recalls, "When we were growing up we didn't have very much but Mom and Dad always worked hard to give us everything they could. One year my mother bought me a new green winter jacket. It was very warm, but I was almost ashamed to wear it because most of my friends either had no jacket at all or wore tattered and torn unlined Levi jackets. Most of that winter I went around with my jacket unzipped and just told everyone the zipper was broken. I never will forget that one day one of my friends came up to me and said, 'Boy I sure wish I was rich like you'. I was almost grown before I found out how far from rich we were, but Mom and Dad always made me feel like I was rich."
When Mom and Dad moved from the farmhouse it was no longer the home we once knew. A home is more than bricks and mortar, carpet, and furnishings. A home is made by the people who live within. It's not material possessions that give us that sense of security and fulfillment-- it's the love and laughter, the feeling of belonging, and being together.
Mom always tried to help Dad with whatever he was doing. We remember when Dad was a school bus driver one day the bus would not start. He had Velma pull the bus with the pickup until the bus started. Well, the bus started in just a few feet, and our father started waving for Mother to stop, but she just kept on going. He honked, waved, cussed, and finally just sat back to enjoy the ride. After a few miles she finally stopped and came back to the bus and he asker her why she didn't stop. She told him she thought he was waving her to go faster.
Jeff Jr. will never foget one day he needed a shirt and Mother took him shopping. She picked out two shirts, a white one and a blue one. She then asked which one he wanted - the white or the blue. He said he liked the blue shirt so Mother turned to the sales clerk and said, "Fine, we'll take the white shirt". Mom always knew what was best and to this very day when someone asks Jr. to choose between two choices most of the time he will respond by saying, "OK".
When we were very little we remember our mother and grandmother were always getting into trouble around the house. On day they decided to paint the dining room, and instead of moving the furniture they just painted around it. Also, one day a squirrel somehow got inside our garage and was clinging to a rafter in the ceiling. Well, our mother felt like hunting that day so she got our father's 22 rifle and proceeded to shoot holes in the roof until she bagged her squirrel.
The greatest joy in Mom's life was giving to others. She taught us that you did not have to be wealthy to be generous. Her jokes and encouraging words brightened the darkest moments of many lives. Velma loved to cook, and was always ready to set an extra plate at the table for anyone who dropped by. Material possessions never mattered much to Mom, she was always willing to share anything she had with others.
Many days Mom would cook a good lunch for dad and herself, then jump up from the table and pack the leftovers to take to a shut-in friend. She loved to bake cookies and pies just to give away. Right after Thanksgiving she started making Christmas candy. She made batches and batches every year. We learned early on that if we wanted any candy, we needed to get it while it was still warm, because as soon as it was cool, off she would go to make a delivery. We always teased her that when Christmas came the whole town was munching away on her delicious candy, but there was not a crumb left at our house.
Besides her children, her most precious treasure was her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She loved each and everyone more than life itself. Her generosity overflowed in their lives. Velma loved babysitting and showing off her little ones. She remembered all of their cute sayings and enjoyed participating in their birthdays and other special occasions.
Our mother was very generous. She was always buying shoes for kids in our community. One 4th of July she bought a small barbeque grill and a big package of hamburger meat and gave them to some of our neighborhood kids to celebrate the 4th. That may not sound like very much but we remember how thrilled the kids were about being able to grill their own hamburgers for the first time. Christmas was a time for giving and she made sure the neighborhood children had something under the tree.
One of mom's greatest loves was music. When she was a young girl her brother, Ernest, taught her to play the trumpet. For many years she played and sang at church. When she felt she could no no longer play, she gave her trumpet to the pastor's son and encouraged him to continue making the music that she loved so well. He became quite an accomplished musician. Mother also directed the church children's choir. A few years ago a young man came up to thank her for the opportunity to sing as a child. He told her that her encouragement had led him into the music ministry. Mother also shared her love of music with us. She ecouraged us to play a musical instrument. I enjoyed playing the piano and organ, but Jeff Jr. preferred playing the TV.
Mom's last Sunday on Earth, we accompanied her to the church service at the nursing home. In spite of her human frailty her spirit was strong. She joined in the singing. Her voice was weak, but the music came from her heart.
When sickness or disappointment came, Mom turned to God for strength. She learned long ago to put her life in God's unfailing hands. She would simply say, "Well, it's in His hands." How fitting that her headstone is inscribed, "In His Hands."
Shortly after she was diagnosed with cancer, we were amazed to hear her friends and neighbors remark that they had no idea she was sick because she continued to help others and encourage them as if nothing were wrong. Even during her last days when someone asked how she was doing she would say, "I'm all right, but how are you feeling?" What an example she set for us all.
Mother's good deeds could be compared to collecting pennies. None in itself was all that significant, but when you add them up over a lifetime of 87 years, it equals an extraordinary life. Mother taught us that the little things are important. Every good deed was from her heart and for the glory of God. Can't you just hear the Master say, "Well done, Velma, enter into your reward in Heaven"?
Mother loved a good joke, and she had a million of them. You didn't have to be around Mom very long to realize that she had a terrific sense of humor. Everywhere she went people knew her for her jokes. Even though we were embarrassed at times, she didn't let that stop her. She would go up to a complete stranger and start telling her jokes.
Kathy, Jeff Jr's wife, remembers taking Velma to McDonalds for lunch and gettting in line to order their food. "There was a couple and a young child sitting eating their lunch and Velma turned around and said, ' let me tell you a joke'. They graciously listened and laughed. She continued to tell them jokes until we received our food. Being the person that I am I selected a table away from them,but when they finished eating they came to our table and asked if she had any more jokes to tell. They told us they were from out of state and had come to our town to bury his father. They had no relatives in Oklahoma and Velma had made their day with her jokes."
Mom had a joke for every occasion. If she were here today, she would no doubt be sitting toward the back visiting with the people around her. Inspiried by the occasion, we can hear her say as she turns to the people beside her. "Did you hear about the hearse that made a sudden stop downtown during a funeral pocession? The doors flew open and the casket fell out and rolled down the street and into a drug store. It came to an abrupt stop directly in front of the pharmicist. The lid popped open and the corpse sat upright and said, "Do you have anything to stop this coffin?"
Mom looked forward to her reunion in Heaven with Dad and so many loved ones who had gone on before. We miss her terribly, but she is where she wanted to be. We are comforted by John 14: 1-3 which tells us, "Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And, if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. On Wednesday, December 1, Mom's dream became a reality. As we opened our hands to let her go, Jesus came to hold her hand and help her cross over to that wonderful place we call Heaven.
She may be gone from our presence, but she will always be in the hearts of those who knew and loved her. She was a unique individual - one of a kind. The lesson we could all learn from Mom would be, when someone comes to mind, call and give them an encouraging word, write a note, or take them a few cookies. Remember, it's not the gift, it's the fact that you took the time to remember them. Don't let the moment slip by and miss an opportunity to help someone. It's the little things that matter.
Mom didn't want us to mourn for her, but to rejoice in her victory. We remember the words of the young preacher who stood up to deliver his first funeral sermon. In his attempt to comfort the family he said, "This body reminds me of a peanut - The shell is here but the nut is gone."
Note: At her request, my mother-in-law was buried in her red boots and hat.
I am glad that you did bury her in her boots and hat. My brother-in-law wanted to be buried in his red suit but the funeral director did not allow it. I image that pissed David off but your mom and dad sound like my parents. Momma made it to 90 before she joined daddy. But I bet your folks and mine are having a grand old time in heaven.
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