This week, Studio Reader Stan gets another call from his mother.
Studio Reader Stan picks up his phone.
Studio Reader Stan: Hello.
Studio Reader Stan’s Mother: Studio Reader Stan, it’s your mother. I have great news.
Studio Reader Stan: Is there any chance your news is you’ll start calling me Larry?
Studio Reader Stan’s Mother: I’m getting a movie made. A Scandinavian film financing company read my script and loved it.
Studio Reader Stan: The one about the caveman and the snowstorm?
Studio Reader Stan’s Mother: No, I have a Bulgarian company looking at that one. This one’s an opera about a tough inner city kid who sells drugs in order to buy food.
Studio Reader Stan: And a Scandinavian film financing company is interested in that?
Studio Reader Stan’s Mother: They said they smell Oscar.
Studio Reader Stan: Mom, I’ve never heard of any film financing coming from Scandinavia. Are you sure you’re not being scammed?
Studio Reader Stan’s Mother: Of course I’m sure. They’re totally on the up and up. All they want me to do is change the location to Scandinavia and instead of it being a tough inner city kid who sells drugs, they want him to a be a mountain-side yodeler who buys a cow in order to make cheese. It’s essentially the same story. So how soon can you rewrite it?
Studio Reader Stan: Mom, I’m not going to spend time rewriting that. I have my own failed projects to concentrate on.
Studio Reader Stan’s Mother: I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I bathed you, I fed you, I tried to hire hot babysitters – and this is the thanks I get. I’m finding it real hard to hide my disappointment.
Studio Reader Stan: It didn’t seem that hard.
Studio Reader Stan’s Mother: We’ll deal with this later. I gotta go. I have a lunch with a gaffer who wants to produce.
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The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me is adult satirical humor featuring adult language and adult content, and the work is a parody of the Old Testament Book of Deuteronomy.
