This week, Studio Reader Stan meets again with Ms. Pantsworth, the high-powered executive at Demure Studios.
Studio Reader Stan sits across from Ms. Pantsworth. She lights up a giant cigar.
Ms. Pantsworth: Studio Reader Stan, here’s my problem. I have a very impressive title, but I don’t have any celebrity friends. What’s the point of being a studio executive if I can’t hang around with famous people?
Studio Reader Stan: I don’t know, perhaps to make movies that will bring people joy or meaning.
Ms. Pantsworth: Joy or meaning? This is show business, not some weirdo petting zoo. Get a grip, man.
Studio Reader Stan: Sorry, where was my head.
Ms. Pantsworth: All that matters is being known and seen. I can’t do those things unless I’m hanging with celebs. So, tell me, what scripts have you read for me that will attract stars?
Studio Reader Stan: That would be zero. You have a reputation for finding ways to never pay writers, so essentially, no one of much talent submits to you.
Ms. Pantsworth: Mm, I thought that might be the case.
Studio Reader Stan: Why don’t you just offer to vastly overpay some celebrity to be in a piece of dreck, like everyone else does?
Ms. Pantsworth: No can do. I’ve already blown this year’s production budget on redesigning the entire back lot to ward off evil spirits. Celebrities aren’t fond of evil spirits.
Studio Reader Stan: Well, I guess you’ll have to wait ‘til next year when someone incomprehensibly replenishes your budget.
Ms. Pantsworth: Not at all. I have a backup plan. And it involves you.
Studio Reader Stan: Your plan is for me to help you make friends with celebrities?
Ms. Pantsworth: Bingo.
Studio Reader Stan: Ms. Pantsworth, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not exactly part of the “hip” crowd.
Ms. Pantsworth: Oh, I’ve noticed. But that’s not a problem. I’ve put word out that you’re threatening to spread a nasty rumor about action star Valkyrie Booster. And then I’ve given him a way to find you.
Studio Reader Stan: Great, so I’m a dead man.
Ms. Pantsworth: Not if you play it right. When his fists start tiring from pummeling you, just work out a deal to not spread the rumor if he hangs out with me.
Studio Reader Stan: And how exactly am I supposed to do that?
Ms. Pantsworth: You’d be surprised how resourceful one can be when they’re on the brink of losing consciousness.
Tune in next week when Studio Reader Stan is visited by action star Valkyrie Booster.
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A humorous look at the world and life through my eyes.
Follow the author and his wife, as they travel the world …. several times over.
Laugh at their funny stories, self-inflicted crazy events, strange observations, wacky zoo facts and snippets
