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What if we could order sex ... like we order food at a restaurant
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I've been wondering... what if we could order sex the way we order
food at a restaurant, ... Would guy's still know exactly what they wanted the minute they walked in the place and would ladies still take forever to make a selection?
Can you imagine ... you walk in the sex store and... a pimply oily face kid in a greasy uniform asks, "can I help you" ... OKkkkk let's let that thought sink in for a moment, Hmmm ...OK!
"Ah,... yeah," you would eventually answer ...and still you would be
wondering if they had washed their hands before coming out of the back to service you?
Then again you'd have to go to a higher class type of establishment,
and work with a more mature personnel. No fast food type of request here, at least for some of us, right, and then again you have your perverts and the kid place with the clowns on the door would be fine, but for most of us, we would desire a more sophisticated
atmosphere,and clientele I hope anyway.
I suppose as a guy we would be the one's who would be covert about what we might order if we were with someone, right and depending on what gender they were, you know what I mean. If we were with the guy's we would be ...strutting, showing off and no doubt be reconized the minute we walk in the place and we would speak to the doorman, like this "Good evening Talbert, and Talber would be like, good evening, sir, how are you this evening, sir "just fine Talbert ...look, I have my boy's with me and ...I wanna show 'em a good time, is Shelia in tonight, she is.. good, thank you Talbert, let her know I'm here tonight with "friends" as for me I'll just have my regular,..,"The twins"...and tell management to surprise me, you know what I like, we'll be over here, at my table, send over a bottle.
It's totally different for a woman and when they're out on a date. The woman you're with always orders stuff that she would never normally order, or she'll be like ... I'll just have a salad...and a glass of water,... and remember guy's this is at a sex shop! She'll say "I have to watch what I eat, I'm on a diet. BTW fella's I could be wrong, but I don't think anybody'll be having sex that night.
But three months from now if you go out with that same woman and she'll be ordering ... one of everything on the menu, two of the house special, and food from the restaurant next door! A chip and dale dancer as a appitizer, a main course of Brad Pitt,George Clooney, and a Danzel Washington chaser, you'll be shocked, surprised, and no doubt intimidated, but if you relax and remain cool and most of all,
if you don't say anything stupid, maybe you can watch!But maybe it's best you don't, just go wait in the car, and save yourself the specticle of all the crying, ...not her ... I mean you .. fella's ... we would be crying!!! She would be just fine, but we guy's would swear we thought she was so innocent,but we only really want our verson of the truth, we need the woman to play along and tell us we are he center of the universe. I think women play along 'cause they know "we can't take he truth", so sometimes they have to spare us our ego's so they perpetrate.
But guy's we're no different, if we were ordering sex, and we were
with a lady... we'd order like this... honey would you mind if I order for both of us, OKkkkk, Hmmm let me see, we'll have, a big order of foreplay, some nibbles on the side for her, with unique kisses and caresses, that make her shiver,... give her a order of... of deep , deep penetrations, I want to touch all the places that she's always wanted and needed to be
touched, with slow , passionate loving, I want her soul to move, so I'll also need a pair of the strong,
tender hands, big shoulders, a set of six pack abs, please don't forget the mysterious "tight ass" (whatever that is) and even though words won't necessary tonight, when and if I do speak,let me have the "voice of sincerity" include the the sweetest, heartfelt, declarations of love, passionate cries of I really care, and ears that hear everything she say's tonight, and I'll need the understanding heart and infinite wisdom to "hear" what she cannot say as well,also send out the "it goes whatout saying,but it's a clearly understood established fact that in the event the sex is, heaven forbid bad, or if anyhting goes wrong or is less than what she wants or fantisizes it to be the responsibility for anything and everything that happens tonight is all my fault... we want to end the evening of lovemaking with a large, "I almost was in a coma, total body climax" for her, serve all that up hotttttt!!!! Also I want to blindside her when she's peaking, for the twelfth time tonight, I want a surprise order of "tears of joy", make that the "why am I crying, excuse me I have to call my girlfriend,special"... but, no happy ending for me tonight, this is her night,and I want to rock her world, because she is "my world" so ... after the lovemaking we'll have the "Exotic oils, oh my God, thats my
favorite song, come back to earth slowly special with mood lights,after love atmosphere, and foot massage for her", until she passes out and I think that will be it, and please have a driver bring the car around, afterwards, since she won't be able to walk and tip yourself generously, Talbert, thank you. Oh!, and while that's being prepared we'll have 2 coffee's, make 'em decaf !
Lying! , lying!, lying!!!!, three months from now we'd would be like....
hey waiter, over here!!!!
I'll order for both of us. She'll have a salad and I'll have head 'till
I'm dead, ...bring me a coke,
baby you can have a sip of mine!!!
Waiter make sure this is hot. It was cold last time, I had to bring it
back!
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| Reviewed by Monette Bebow-Reinhard |
10/2/2005 |
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Oh you are bad, bady, bad! Great imagination, I loved this!
Monette |
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| Reviewed by Sandra Mushi |
9/18/2005 |
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| Lolol ... I wonder what they would have as condiments .... lolol! |
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| Reviewed by Cynthia Borris |
9/9/2005 |
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Funny! And honest!
Cynthia |
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