What happened to the day you could go out and celebrate your Birthday or just have a night out on the town with out being screwed in the butt by a small Town wanna be eager beaver Barney Fife? For that matter, what happened to the day that you could sit in your own yard sharing a cool one with a friend and not be molested by cops? The story you are about to hear is true so watch your step and each drink you take especially in small little back water jerk off towns that are in the process of building a new police department!
The twenty forth of September was my forty sixth birthday. Since I had been through quite a bit the past few months I wanted to go out on the town for the night with some friends and family, share a few cold ones and kick back and sing some Karoke at a new club to celebrate.
We all headed over to the "Wishing Well" around 8 PM for a night of singing, dance, friends and a few drinks. Grant it; I admit I over indulged way past any legal limits! I had already had some gin and rum before I left and when I got there several drafts as well as some whiskey and the most awesome blackberry wine I have ever tasted! I'm not a big drinker and don't indulge very often but, Hey sometimes you just want to 'let your hair down"!
I made it through singing maybe three songs before I had to give singing up or really make a fool out of myself! Forget dancing, I was doing good to even walk! I'm sure I'm not the only one that has even done this or will I be the last, but here is a big word of warning to you!
If you ever go through Luther or Arcadia Oklahoma, stop your car and turn around even if you have a designated driver or even if all you drank was one beer and are a passenger on your way home!
I had drank so much that I am surprised that I know who I am even today and lived to tell about it! It amazes me even more that I didn't spend the night praying to the porcelain potty all night or passing out cold.
On the way home I asked them to pull over because my head was spinning and I thought I might get sick. Sitting at a local store near the phone booth enters "Barney Fife"!
He asked if we were ok or needed any help. Well, I know how bad these small town cops can be so I was trying to play it cool and stand straight and be quite. That alone was a miracle in itself! My driver said, "We're fine, just need to use the pay phone". We were watched but left alone by the eager beaver. If he had came with in a few feet of me I would have been enjoying County lock up too!
My oldest son who is mainly a social drinker wasn't so lucky! He was a few minutes behind us since he was playing pool and had one more song he was up to sing at the club. Now the real drama starts!
He got pulled over because his tail light was out. He had just got his truck back from the shop from where he had been rear ended and it should have been fixed. "Barney" ( I will refer to this police officer as this from here on out) pulled him over for this offense at first then just kept writing and writing........
My son pulled over and showed Barney his drivers licence but couldn't find his insurance verification. Barney then of course writes him a ticket for no state insurance as well as the tail light. He then writes him up for his tag because it was due in August and was driving on his thirty day grace period. Yep, they can do that!!!
Barney then ask my son where he had been and was told that he went to celebrate my birthday and had only had three beer's over the past 5 hours. Honesty is not always the best policy, let me tell you!
By the time Barney finished he had wrote my son up for: a tail light, his tag, no insurance and public drunk! My son was 4 miles from my house, but Barney is new on the job and wanting to score some nice browny points plus help do his part to get their new police department built!
He arrested My son and took him to Oklahoma City to the County Jail after he gave him the "key test". This involves holding a set of car keys in front of your face and making you follow them. While doing the test he had a flash light shining in my sons eyes blinding him. The point of the test is to see if you can follow the keys with your eyes. Not to easy a feat if you can't see the Dam things due to a bright light blinding you! So off to jail he went for the public drunk charge!
Once there, the booking officer told my son that Barney didn't do the test right and he didn't believe my son was legally drunk. He said that he see's them rail road people all the time like that. My son could have taken a breath test once there but, if it read high enough then he would have had it on his record and his license could be suspended. The booking officer advised not to take it just in case, because my son hadn't ate in about 10 hours and the alcohol level might show up too high so best be safe.
Now the real horror starts!
My son is booked and gave a mattress about 2 inches thick filled with cotton so hard it felt like rocks and a very thin cover to put on the floor. The only water available to inmates came from a sink located right next to the communal toilet. And worse yet it only had warm water flowing from it! So any of the drunks that threw up or spewed any waste near that sink had contaminated the outlet if you were crazy enough to drink it you would have been in danger of all kinds of diseases and germs.
Now I realize they don't want you to enjoy your stay or want to return but give me a break! When they served the "meal" of brown beans and bread the beans had live maggots crawling all in them! Yum! Puts a new meaning to getting your protein! When inmates complained they were told don't eat it and next time choose a different jail!
My son said when he was riding to lock up he wished he was smaller because his shoulders were hurting so bad with his hands cuffed behind him. He suffers from an old AP separation in his shoulder and him being so muscle bound it made it very painful being cuffed behind his back. Once he got there, He was glad he was the biggest guy there in lock up!
Now on the home front, I spent from 2 am Sunday morning until 2 PM trying to find a Luther police officer to post the $500.00 bail. After the bond was posted it took four more hours for the release to be faxed to Oklahoma county Jail. Now you would expect a pretty speedy release, right? Wrong again!!!
I spent nine more hours calling several times an hour to County and trying to make sure he was being released. Some guys had been in lock up days even after the bond was posted! I must have called at least 30 times to check on his progress!
At 11:00 PM I reached a Sergeant that told me he was being booked out as we talked. They actually got so sick of me calling that they went back and asked which inmate was my son! My son raised his hand and they just smiled at him. When he was processed to leave they told him how much I had called as well as his wife.
Now, what was the lesson's learned?
You can be arrested drinking in your yard for public drunk or at a lake! It doesn't even matter how many you've drank if they want to be a real ass! If you want to enjoy a beer then you best do it behind a stockade fence or inside your home. Watch out driving on "grace periods" on a tag, always put insurance verification in plain sight, just in case and Stay the HELL out of Luther or Arcadia, Oklahoma if you plan to party at all! You simply don't want to support their Police departments or Visit Oklahoma county Jail! Cost? Well, because Barney made a mistake on ticket writing in his haste......
$500.00 for Bond and fine of "Public Drunk" plus, $117.00 for each of the other tickets. Thank God he was new and forgot the bond of those tickets or it would have cost my son $851.00 just to get out of jail not counting court cost once he goes to court! We did get lucky and they dropped the no insurance ticket because we showed he had it when we posted bond.
So, needless to say.............From now on it is going to be coffee or bottled water at the club. Not that it won't keep you from getting stopped! They sit just down the road waiting for out of town plates and the unlucky..................
BEWARE!
I bet it is a very long time if ever that I have to remind my son's of my date of birth! I imagine that night is burned in all three of my sons minds now! LOL
