Studio Reader Stan returns to Ms. Pantsworth’s office after his previous encounter with her in the last episode.
Studio Reader Stan enters Ms. Pantsworth’s office.
Studio Reader Stan: Ms. Pantsworth, I’m trying to understand our previous conversation.
Ms. Pantsworth: We had a previous conversation?
Studio Reader Stan: Yes, it was eight minutes ago.
Ms. Pantsworth: I don’t recall it.
Studio Reader Stan: It was about how you and your fellow executives never read any material anymore, unless there’s a wine menu attached.
Ms. Pantsworth: Oh yeah. Was that you I told that to?
Studio Reader Stan: Yes. I’m just curious, if it’s true and no one reads anything anymore, how come so many movies are still being made?
Ms. Pantsworth: Easy. Say you go to an amusement park and enjoy a ride. Bingo – there’s your movie. Say you visit a nephew and he won’t leave his room because he’s into some video game. Bang – there’s a movie. Say you go through an old trunk in your parents’ attic and see a lunch box for a TV sitcom from 30 years ago. Tada – there’s a movie.
Studio Reader Stan: So my follow up then is – why do you even need studio readers?
Ms. Pantsworth: Because people keep writing scripts. I mean, please, someone tell these screenwriters to give it up already. But nooo, they refuse. They have things to say. Blah, blah, blah. So we hire studio readers and make sure that nothing ever gets sent to us. It’s a beautiful system, really.
Studio Reader Stan: Ms. Pantsworth, I have to take a stand here. When I’m not being a reader, I write scripts. It’s a wonderful art form with a rich and proud tradition. My fellow writers and I put our hearts and souls into each one. We want to see the fruits of our imagination and hard work up on the silver screen one day. And you’re killing that off.
Ms. Pantsworth: You have me all wrong, Studio Reader Stan. I want that dream for you, too.
Studio Reader Stan: Really?
Ms. Pantsworth: Yes, and that’s why I’m going to give you the best advice you’ve ever gotten. You take one of them movie ideas of yours, you go out right now -- and you build yourself a hit theme park ride.
Studio Reader Stan: I don’t really know if I can list that as ‘the best advice I’ve ever gotten.’
Ms. Pantsworth: Well, you should… Now excuse me, I’m trying to figure out how to make a movie about a pet rock. My parents just found the one I bought 35 years ago in their basement. The poster already looks great!
Studio Reader Stan leaves, demoralized even more than he was ten minutes ago.
Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II is adult literature featuring adult language and situations that satirizes thirteen famous novellas and short stories. It is Jay Dubya's sixteenth ebook.
