Now, what kind of mother is going to miss her only son's school graduation? she asked herself, her husband, and friends time after time.
This story was told to me by my friend Marcie McGrath, who heard it from a friend of hers whose name is Penelope, but I can't remember the last name. Well, Penelope had had a dream one night when her son, Darius, was about 8 years old. In the dream she was looking at the attendees and all the details surrounding Darius’ graduation from prep school. She realized that everything about the long-awaited event seemed completely normal except for the fact that she, Penelope, Darius’ one and only mom, was not present at the graduation. Now, what kind of mother is going to miss her only son’s school graduation? she asked herself, her husband and friends over and over. During the weeks and months following the disturbing dream, Penelope could feel the tension mounting inside her. Those close to her said it was only a dream and that she’d probably gone to the ladies’ room or some such action. They’d suggested it was certainly nothing to torture herself day and night over. But she’d replied no, that that couldn’t be it because she distinctly remembered the seating arrangement and in the dream there was no empty seat anywhere in the audience, much less next to Jim, her supportive husband. Jim said okay, if she could remember so much, what was the weather like? She replied that the weather was quite nice because it was very early in June and the graduation had taken place “al fresco,” in the school’s stadium instead of inside the auditorium. Well, that reply sort of hushed Jim up. I mean, what else can a person say? Penelope’s friends, whenever they met or got together, would never mention the dream, but she, Penelope, would keep bringing it up now and then. She did try not to be so tiresome about it, though. Marcie said Penelope consulted a doctor once. You know, a shrink or someone similar. In the end, after a lot of private probing, rigamarole and beating round the bush, the doc suggested she’d perhaps gotten a divorce , had come down with something or, worse, that she and her son, Darius, in the dream about 17 years old, had had a fight. Penelope could accept the possibility of illness, but not the other two hypothetical reasons. Neither divorce nor a disagreement would keep her away from a family graduation or any other important family affair. What could it be? she wondered. Of course, her biggest fear was of her not being alive. Was she actually dead when Darius’ graduation arrived? You know how we always tend to imagine the worst. Self-torture, it is, that’s for sure. Such a dreadful thought was too burdensome to manage alone. Thank God for the comfort of her family and friends, Penelope had told herself too many times to count. On another occasion Penelope consulted her church’s counselor. This counselor listened carefully to all the accumulated interpretations, ideas and suggestions everyone who’d heard about the dream had offered Penelope, then said she wouldn’t continue to stay unduly anxious about it if she were Penelope, to simply leave the matter up to God with His infinite wisdom and mercy, and that surely some logical explanation would come to light at the right time. Besides, she’d reminded Penelope, with God on her side, what harm could possibly come to her? Penelope couldn’t easily argue with the counselor’s reasoning. The adivce made her feel better for a while, but eventually, of course, that troublesome doubt and anxiety came back in full force. In fact, Penelope could never ever forget the dream, could never shake the tension of its mystery and the hold it had on her. She was actually anxious and tortured by it for the duration of the nearly 9 years, that is, until just before the graduation. To go ahead and finish, it turned out that Penelope was at the graduation after all—nice make-up job and everything else that is customary—she just wasn’t sitting with Jim or anyone familiar in the bleachers. She was sitting with the graduates! Darius was the person actually missing at the graduation. This was something she’d either failed to notice or could not possibly notice in the dream all those years ago. She’d been asked to sit with the graduates on the raised platform that had been constructed and decorated on the field. She’d go up to the superintendent, school principal, and some others to be handed Darius’ diploma in person. The big relief for Penelope’s nerves had come just 1 week prior to the graduation. In a water-skiing accident on the lake where the family had a weekend cabin, Darius had broken a leg! Since he couldn’t go to the ceremony comfortably enough to suit himself on the big day, he chose not to go at all. THE END
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The Narcis
Neurosis, a mental illness, affects everyone to a greater or lesser extent, yet most know little or nothing about it. This book reveals all, including incidence, signs and symptoms, cause, treatment and prevention, in lay language.
