Last week, Studio Reader Stan learned that his agent gave her 13-year-old nephew, Petey, a free 5-year option on Studio Reader Stan's screenplay. So this week, he meets with Petey...
At Petey's parents' house, Studio Reader Stan waits for 13-year-old Petey to come home. He finally walks in.
Petey: You must be my new assistant. About time you got here. All my chores aren't going to get done by themselves.
Studio Reader Stan: Actually, no, I'm the writer of the script that your Aunt inexplicably gave to you for free for five years.
Petey: Ah, yes. She's a tough negotiator. I asked for ten.
Studio Reader Stan: Anyway, as I waited for you to get home from camp, I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve rewritten every single word in my script.
Petey: Correct.
Studio Reader Stan: So now, what was once a sweet family comedy, is a bloody and violent mess. Do you think that was really necessary?
Petey: For me it was, yeah. Rewriting helps keep the demons in my mind from screaming.
Studio Reader Stan: So you’re going to keep rewriting it?
Petey: Yes, even during filming.
Studio Reader Stan: How can you film something if you rewrite it every day?
Petey: Well that’s not a problem right now because we have no financiers. They all hated my rewrite.
Studio Reader Stan: So they preferred my version?
Petey: Apparently.
Studio Reader Stan: Is there any chance you’ll change it back to the way I had it?
Petey: No, my ego wouldn’t allow it.
Studio Reader Stan: Well, this won't do wonders for your ego, but right now, in my professional opinion, you have no clue how to properly write a screenplay.
Petey: Well, which one of us has managed to option a project for five years for free?
Studio Reader Stan: Only because I have a horrible agent who you happened to be related to.
Petey: I believe specifics only get in the way of the facts. Now, excuse me, my algebra tutor/masseuse is here.
Petey leaves a frustrated Studio Reader Stan behind.
Tune in next week for more of Studio Reader Stan's adventures...
Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V
Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V is humorous adult literature featuring adult content and language. The work satirizes and spoofs thirteen classic tales from U.S. and British literature, a
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