Studio Reader Stan visits Petey, the 13-year-old director who owns the free five-year option on his screenplay. Also at Petey's house is Marvin, the wannabe producer.
Petey lets Studio Reader Stan into his home. Marvin is already heavily involved in playing a video game.
Petey: Studio Reader Stan, welcome. Marvin tells me that he knows you.
Studio Reader Stan: Uh, yeah. What’s he doing here?
Marvin: Petey’s brought me on board as the producer for your script.
Petey: He just produced a film, so he has experience.
Studio Reader Stan: The only reason he received a producer credit was because he won it in a drinking game. He didn’t actually contribute anything.
Marvin: That wasn’t my fault. They kept doing all their filming before 2 PM. I can’t wake up that early.
Studio Reader Stan: I imagine then you have some compelling feedback to offer about the story.
Marvin: I do. After speed-skimming the script, I strongly feel it’s lacking some of the basic fundamentals of good filmmaking.
Studio Reader Stan: Like what?
Petey: Marvin believes that in every movie we should see women in bikinis at least every few minutes.
Studio Reader Stan: But this is supposed to be an uplifting film about deaf kids who team up to win a soccer championship.
Marvin: Not a problem. We’ll just break up all that soccer playing with lots of bikini scenes.
Studio Reader Stan: I’m curious – would this idiotic bikini theory also apply to an historical war movie like Saving Private Ryan?
Marvin: Absolutely. That flick opened with dudes fighting on a beach for like half an hour. I mean, c’mon, how can you have a long beach scene with no women in bikinis? It just wasn’t believable.
Petey: See, that’s why I brought him on board. He’s a thinker.
Studio Reader Stan: But he’s a thinker of things that no one should ever be thinking about.
Marvin: I really think there also needs to be a giant killer shark in the film, too.
Studio Reader Stan: But the film’s set in Kansas.
Marvin: (scoffs) What, there’s no water in Kansas?
Petey: I got it! One of the characters will have a swimming pool.
Marvin: Excellent! That’s where the bikinis will come in. This film’s gonna rock!
Studio Reader Stan ponders shaving his head so it won’t hurt as much when he keeps trying to tear his hair out.
Tune in next week for more of Studio Reader Stan's Adventures...
Deputy Dave Jenkins sets out to find the murderer of the local high school principal, aided by a voice from the grave that is sometimes helpful and sometimes misleading.
"Murder isn't usually this funny."
Amazon reviewer
