Studio Reader Stan has another session with his psychiatrist, Dr. Melrose.
Studio Reader Stan sits across from his psychiatrist, Dr. Melrose.
Studio Reader Stan: ...So not only is this studio exec remaking one of the worst films ever made, he's doing it only a year after he made it the first time. It lacks all common sense. And what’s worse, this dunderhead is a million times more successful than me. It’s hard to deal with.
Dr. Melrose: I see. This is a very troubling development in your life. I think it’s imperative that I speak directly with this studio executive.
Studio Reader Stan: Why?
Dr. Melrose: Without significant interaction with him, maybe several months’ worth, I fear you may fall into the grips of insanity.
Studio Reader Stan: It bothers me, but I’m not about to go crazy.
Dr. Melrose: Are you questioning my diagnosis?
Studio Reader Stan: Yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing. I don’t see how you talking to him, for several months at that, would actually be of help to me.
Dr. Melrose: That’s why you’re on that side of the desk, and I’m on this side.
Studio Reader Stan: That still didn’t explain it for me. And, furthermore, I don’t see why he would want to talk with you at all.
Dr. Melrose: I’ve thought of that and I have a solution, with only your best interests in mind, of course.
Studio Reader Stan: And what would that be?
Dr. Melrose: He needs to cast me in his movie, and then when I’m off screen, I can have deep discussions about your troubled psyche.
Studio Reader Stan: That’s in my best interests?
Dr. Melrose: Absolutely.
Studio Reader Stan: Funny, it feels like you’re trying to use me to weasel yourself an acting gig.
Dr. Melrose: I can’t believe you would question my intentions. You’ve wounded me deeply.
Studio Reader Stan: I’m sorry.
Dr. Melrose: You should be. Now back to business. Is there a director for this remake flick yet?
Studio Reader Stan: Excuse me?
Dr. Melrose: I’ve just finished a new demo reel showcasing my directorial ability. I can send that and my headshot and resume over in the same package. I think he’ll be really impressed with my experimenting with way too much camera movement.
Studio Reader Stan: Is there any way we can just get back to discussing my issues?
Dr. Melrose: I also can do my own stunts. He’ll be impressed by that. I think we need to move on this immediately, so I’m cutting your session short. There’s no time to waste.
Tune in next week for more of Studio Reader Stan's adventures...
