This week, Studio Reader Stan visits again with Studio Executive, Mr. Brick.
Studio Reader Stan enters the office of Studio Executive, Mr. Brick.
Mr. Brick: Hey dude, I’m about to meet with a studio reader, so whatever you want, make it quick.
Studio Reader Stan: Uh, I’m the studio reader you’re meeting with.
Mr. Brick: Oh, well, you can’t have expected me to know that since we’ve never met.
Studio Reader Stan: We met two weeks ago.
Mr. Brick: Well that’s ages ago, dude. I mean, c’mon, I don’t remember everyone in my Kindergarten class either.
Studio Reader Stan: Of course. Those are exactly the same scenarios.
Mr. Brick: Yep. Anyway, dude, I decided all our movies from here on out would be remakes of classics, but done as horror flicks.
Studio Reader Stan: Come again?
Mr. Brick: The first one is a “Gone with the Wind” remake, but instead of the union army and poverty devastating Scarlett O’Hara’s life, the Wind, which will be a menacing ghost, will terrorize her instead. And Rhett Butler will secretly be a werewolf.
Studio Reader Stan: You’re not serious, are you?
Mr. Brick: Deadly. Get it, deadly?
Studio Reader Stan: Unfortunately, I got it.
Mr. Brick: And then we’ll do a “Sound of Music” remake, but our version will be about a nanny who implants evil music into people’s minds so they become insane axe-wielding zombies.
Studio Reader Stan: You’ve already actually agreed to do this?
Mr. Brick: Agreed? It was my idea. I’m going to take full credit. Especially on the “It’s A Wonderful Life” remake, which will now be about a man who’s tormented and terrorized by a psychotic guardian angel in a hockey mask.
Studio Reader Stan: And you believe audiences are going to be okay with this?
Mr. Brick: The ones that pay to see movies on opening weekend, yeah.
Studio Reader Stan: So all you care about are the mindless teenage masses who don’t care at all about quality or tradition?
Mr. Brick: Exactly, dude. I'm glad we're on the same page.
Studio Reader Stan: Since that audience doesn’t care how bad the story is, what do you need me to read them for?
Mr. Brick: Insurance. Nearly every horror script gets horrible coverage from you readers, which isn’t a problem, unless the film flops.
Studio Reader Stan: So then if the movie does bomb, you can place the blame entirely on me for praising it, even though I actually think it's one of the dumbest ideas I've ever heard of.
Mr. Brick: Yep. Pretty good plan, huh? Have the coverage to me by next week.
Tune in next week for more of Studio Reader Stan's adventures...
Deputy Dave Jenkins sets out to find the murderer of the local high school principal, aided by a voice from the grave that is sometimes helpful and sometimes misleading.
"Murder isn't usually this funny."
Amazon reviewer
